A Crack in the Mirrored Façade
by Little.Miss.Meggie
Summary: Slightly AU. Characters the same but does not coincide with film plots. It looks into the destructive relationship between M and her husband and how Bond responds to that. AWFUL SUMMARY! THis story just keeps growing! Opinions always valid... Does not contain sex however is implied, also contains adult language and themes... (Warming Domestic Abuse)
1. Chapter 1

**The summary was rubbish, but here is slightly more detail, M is still M and Bond is Bond, the rest is my own twisted imagination. This comes from a conversation with a lovely anonymous reader/writer, she asked me to look into M being weak and broken and how Bond would deal with that, I don't think see quite expected this but I hope she, and you enjoy it... I had every intention of leaving this as a one-shot but i think I will extend it if people approve and like it...**

* * *

She stood tall and proud, no-one could fault her for her age or sex as she proved just how good she was. She drew attention from almost everyone, the women felt powerful and the men, to Bonds great annoyance, noticed her defined features and curvy silhouette, the fire in her eyes and the fluidity of her movements. As he stood and assessed the scene Bond was sure not one man in the room wouldn't want her in bed with them that evening. She mingled effortlessly, talking to everyone she must and making the correct statements to the correct wankers who would decide on the finances. She was the perfect dinner guest and made the event worth attending.

He sat by the bar, he wasn't really there to mingle, or really in the mood to dance, he'd been approached by the pretty young things who attended these functions. He knew if he needed someone in his bed the void would be filled, but not by M, and that was the problem. It wasn't a new revaluation, or something he really considered able to fix but it didn't stop him wondering.

As the night drew to a close M excused herself from the mass and headed for the exit, on meeting Bonds eye she inclined her head to towards the oversized politician who he had been told to 'keep an eye on' during the course of the evening. He was passed out cold at one of the tables with the ice cubes in his drink still frozen, well, Bond had been distracted. With a roll of his eyes which quirked M's lip he moved over to the gentleman and reprieved him of his drink, wrapping an arm around his neck he hauled the besotted old fart out of the ballroom towards the staff entrance to the hotel, after a quick call to his driver they hauled him into the back of the limo and sent him on his way, hopefully avoiding any of the papazzi on their way.

He turned and headed to the fifth floor, turning right he headed directly for room 525, her room. He slipped the master key he had slipped from the waiter in the bar into the key slot and was thankful the high class system didn't beep on his entrance. He closed the door and could sense something slightly off, a slight kick in his gut that warned him of danger.

The room was dark, no light besides the light of the city below, as he crept down the hall he could see the silhouette of two people close together, almost embracing but not quite there. He could recognise M's figure from a mile, she was faced towards him at an angle to the window, her face masked in darkness but her hair lit by the bright lights, her face was turned towards the man, and his back turned to Bond so he was unsure of which balding bureaucrat she'd relented to bring to her room. He had his arms on her upper arms and his face quite near her ear. Bonds stomach pitted, naturally she would find someone to entertain her, she wasn't his as much as he wasn't hers, but then he supposed he was, even if she wasn't aware.

He stayed in the shadows and was brought out of his reverie by the sounds in the room, he heard a whimper escape her lips and the nag in his gut kicked out hard, the scene just didn't feel right but he couldn't be sure that it wasn't just his jealousy. She seemed down-trodden, almost submissive, but then it would be a lie to say he'd never imagined her tied down as he teased her with his hand, tongue, cock or any other toy she wanted as long as she waited for his order before she climaxed. He could see the appeal.

He man spoke, cold and harsh, not how to address a lady but then she may want that.

'shut up!' he spat at her 'You are my wife, you belong to me and you owe me this much!' he moved his arm around her, pulling her against him as his other moved to grip her breast in his fist, from the gasp she elicited it was a painful grobe.

Bond was still uncomfortably juxtaposed, his gut was flipping itself over and over in its pent up state of danger, his mind was numb and unresponsive, making no explanation to the scene just repeating 'my wife, my wife', his body was frozen, his heart which he denied any involvement in his life was now suddenly making itself known, sitting hard and heavy in the centre of his chest. His eyes remained fixated on the couple in the corner or the living space.

'please, please' she spoke softly, there was a quiver in her voice, not like he had ever heard in his lovers voices when he had them begging, it reminded him more off his marks as he toyed and tortured them for information. His waterlogged brain slowly turned more coils and spoke to him.

what it fear?

The man's hand released her breast and traced down her stomach as she continued her pitiful mantra.

'what's wrong Bitch, not recovered from last time...'

With that he cupped her apex and she let out a wretched cry, in no way could that be pleasure echoing in her voice. Bond fired himself across the room, taking the man and slamming against the wall by his throat, he had every intention to kill him as he stared into the eyes of this bastard.

'007... Bond, Bond release him... For gods sake James he's my husband…'

With the use of his name he dropped him, the other man, not much taller than James leant against the wall but looked up at him, challenging his gaze.

'Bond what are you doing here?' the question was so sharp and articulate that you couldn't of expect the woman a mere minute before to be the same flesh and blood. Bond was completely mind-fucked. So many questions.

He needed her out. How?

Improvisation.

'Conference call Ma'am, long haul with America, looks as though it could take a while to sort...' he finished speaking, this voice hadn't wavered and either had his gaze. The tosser before him held it right to the last, before turning a disdainful look at his wife and sneered.

'duty calls dear' he walked away as Bond turned to raise a fist but M stood inbetween them. looking at her husband's retreating back 'I'm sorry Greg' she said her entire persona different to when she addressed Bond.

Greg turned and glowered

'You wouldn't of been worth it, you never were' with that he walked into the bedroom and out of sight, Bond stormed past M towards the door but her hand grabbed his arm and he stopped. He wanted to kill him, he was going to kill him but first he wanted an explanation and to do that he must get her out. She'd turned from him and was rummaging in her handbag, she pulled out her purse and left a stack of notes on the table, close to two grand he reckoned, another question.

She didn't look at Bond but nodded her head when he picked up her coat, he draped it over his arm, unsure on her reaction to him touching her would be. More questions.

They left in silence; she shut the door and led the way. She stride was confident and her pace was brisk but her eyes remained down. They approached the evaluator and it arrived almost immediately. Stepping into the narrow space he jabbed the 3 on the side. The door closed, they both breathed.

'Where is the call?' she asked, the picture of professionalism that blew him away.

'there isn't one'

'then why the hell did yo...'

'how did you expect me to leave you there with what he would have done to you' his anger was unbridled, never before had he been so livid. 'I'll kill me' his voice was dark and portrayed every ounce of his hatred.

'No' her voice was soft, damaged, this wasn't M

'No, No! He is a bastard M, a fucking bastard!'

The elevator stopped and they exited with him leading this time, they turned left walking to room 345, his room.

The air was cool, refreshing from the sticky elevator air. He moved in and turned the lamp on before turning to the drinks cabinet. He heard her enter and shut the door but nothing else, true to form as he turned he saw her standing, everything as M should be but for the bowed head. He breathed again.

'M... Please, sit and explain...'

He waited for her to move, letting her choose her position in the room before he placed the glasses on the coffee table and poured a large shot of single malt into both glasses. Handing hers to her, before replacing the bottle, they both drank. So many questions.

She was staring out the window, they could hear the waves on the beach below but it wasn't doing much to soothe the tension. When Bond realised she wasn't going to elaborate on what had transpired two floors above he decided to move the conversation on somewhat. He opened his mouth and moved forward, he noticed the slight tremor and the stiffness in her posture, although her gaze and facial expression remain unfazed and neutral.

He froze in his movement, only 3 foot or so from her but didn't want to threaten her. She suddenly looked so small, perched on the armchair, the picture of elegance with the glass on her knee but he didn't miss the tremor in her fingers as she held it. He slowly knelt down in front of her, keeping his distance but making sure his head was below hers.

He was so angry, angry at himself, he could not believe that she, his M, the most powerful and important person in his life, was reduced to the damaged fragment he had caught a glimpse upstairs. He quelled his berating thoughts, and the rash sense of revenge settling in his stomach as he processed which question to start with.

'how long?' his voice failed him as he tried to keep it steady and hide the emotion he felt.

She bristled again but kept her composure, she considered the question for a minute before looking down and swilling her drink. 'six years' she answered quietly, with a blunt, hollow tone.

Bond gaped across at her. He clawed his fingers into his palms until he was sure he would draw blood. His jaw was shaking from the tension of biting down and he couldn't remember ever feeling so sick to his stomach. He didn't know what to say, how to understand without causing her discomfort in having to answer.

After a long moment he spoke again 'why?' his question was nondescript but he needed to understand.

She diverted her eyes from the window into her lap again, and finished her drink before speaking, doing all that see could, as bond noticed, not to look at him.

'Do you mean why did it start or why it goes on?' her tone was again emotionless, the kind you adopt in torture so they don't read into your weaknesses but she was also offering an olive branch, she was willing to discuss it and bond wondered if she ever had before.

'Both, but first start with why it began?'

Six years was a long time, he had become a double-0 around then, and not at any point had he assumed she was anything but a ruthless master and a damn fine woman.

She breathed in deeply and collapsed back into the armchair, looking out of the windows the backs of her fingers rested across her lips. He expected her to cry or shout or just shoot him but when she spoke her voice was the same as before.

'Our marriage was never… never perfect. We had too many secrets to be at ease with eachother. My work was my world and to him it was just a job. The children were happy, I think. They didn't spend much time at home.' She swallowed again, obviously lost in her own mind as she recounted her life. 'About six years ago he came home early, drunk, I thought he would be out all night and wouldn't be home at all.' Her cheeks were pale and her eyes bright. 'I was in the bedroom, I will not explain what I was doing but he came in and heard, he was furious and he took matters into his own hands. At first it was exciting, rough suited us, until he grabbed my throat' her hand subconsciously went to her neck, the pain still evident in her face. 'He wouldn't let go, I considered every tactic I had been trained but I couldn't, he was my husband, I passed out, I was sure he would have killed me. But I woke up, sore like I have never been, I knew he must have continued while I was out of it. I got up and went into the bathroom.' She shook hair from her face and Bond noticed there were still no tears, her eyes were glassy orbs in the moonlight. 'I threw up, I sat in the shower and cried, trying to rid him off me, trying to understand why, the pain turned into anger. When I went out I was resolved to kill him until I saw him looking at me from the end of the bed. He looked remorseful at his actions, but he told me to come to him and I didn't disobey' Her hand ran through her hair and she let out a long breath. 'He pulled me next to him and wouldn't release my wrist. He held on so tightly, and he told me' She stopped talking and moved to the window standing at it, arms crossed and gripping her arms and keeping her back to him 'He told me, my only right was as his wife, I had no right to give myself pleasure or let anyone else, I wasn't worth the pleasure' there was bitterness in the last statement. 'He told me how I had disappointed him as a husband, how I was a disgrace as a wife and mother. I had no argument, it was true.' Bond stood but made no attempt to move to her. After another breath she continued, 'He pushed me down under him, did it again although he didn't grab my throat, I've leant that is only if he is angry. Afterwards he slept and I sat all night next to him. I have never felt was weak.'

'Why didn't you kill him? Why didn't you tell anyone? How could you let him? I assume he did know who you were, who you are?' Bond still could not understand why this brilliant woman who held such power could succumb to such treatment.

'He is my husband' she said simply. As if it answered all of question on the subject.

'And that makes it right!'

'He is right. I should not put my job before my role and I did'

'This is bullshit M! Your role is not to have him' He couldn't finish the sentence but the unsaid words floated in the air.

She bristled again and swallowed 'How would you feel in the situation?' she asked and his mouth opened, fists clenched as he turned and threw his glass against the wall, he stormed around the room as he ranted.

'Me. I wouldn't do that! Never! I'd be proud M, fucking PROUD! They is no way I could possibly… what?' He stopped his pacing and looked at her, noticing for the first time she was looking at him. His anger subsided at the look of abject pain in her features, he walked over and stood near to her, silently comforting her 'What is it?' he asked.

'No one… has ever been proud of me.' She said with a slightly uncomfortable shrug, which drew attention again to how small she was. 'They always told me to be proud of myself, but no one ever said they were.'

'I am' He said sincerely, catching her eyes so she could see the truth. 'Ever since I met you, I was always proud of how you could handle everything'

She looked away from him and towards the window, suddenly vulnerable again. 'And now, you have seen a situation I can't handle, I guess that makes me le…'

'No.' He said so frankly that she looked at him in shock 'This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.' He said, determined for her to understand. 'What he does to you does not affect how think of you'

'Why did you bring me here?' she asked swiftly, taking Bond by surprise.

'I couldn't leave you to be hurt' he said automatically, before is brain could suppress it.

She looked at him and a sad smile touched her face 'dear, I've been hurt much worse than tonight' she said, placing her hand on the bar that sat mid-way up the windows.

'It doesn't mean it has to continue, give me 10 minutes, it will never happen again'

'No'

'Why! Why do you let him?'

His exasperation had riled her and she gripped the metal bar hard.

'Let him! You think it is a case I just allow him to, I put up as much of a fight as I can, find alternative methods so I know I won't be his target. But I am his wife'

'You love him, how can you love such a man' He all but near spat at her

'I do not love him, I never have really, I think that was part of the problem, now I hate him, but I am strong in every aspect of my life where I send people to die or to kill, I just do not have it in me to fight this.'

They stood in silence as she looked over the shore breathing deeply to calm herself. He watched her and all of the rage to make the bastard pay began to dampen, he definitely wanted him to suffer, but right now his attention turned to M. He moved slowly and deliberating every move, making it clear his intentions and watching for signals to stop, he was surprised to receive none and when he reached for her hand even more surprised for her to release the bar so his fingers could entwine with hers. He moved to stand just behind her, wanting to wrap her up in his arms but also wanting her to feel comfortable.

After a few minutes she lifted his hand to the bar along with the other one and leant back into his chest. Some middle ground between full contact and distance. He wouldn't complain as she felt wonderfully right against him. His mind was still running the marathon of thoughts from tonight.

'Why did you leave the money?' He asked quietly and she resettled herself against his shoulder so she could look at him, not that she seemed capable of keeping eye-contact for very long.

'He needs something to entertain him tonight, or it will be worse tomorrow.'

'You pay for his hookers!' He asked incredulously

'I pay for yours' She shot back with a deflecting smile that barely reached her cheeks let alone her eyes.

'Hardly the same' he said with a hint of amusement

'No, you're not' She said returning to full serious and moving back into her original position.

They stood comfortably for a little longer. He noticed her breathing had returned to normal and she seemed slightly more relaxed. The clock on the opposite wall chimed 12 and she jumped at the unexpected noise, starting to move away from him he took her hand again, keeping her chest against him so he could whisper to her. 'Stay.' It was a simple word but she turned and looked at him.

'Stay, please… Don't make me send you back to him now.' His eyes were as pleading at his tone and for the first time in quite some time she felt like her presence in a situation not work-related would make a difference, an impact. She gave a nod and then looked slightly frightened at the decision, suddenly wondering his intentions of the night would be. He saw the panic and interpreted it correctly. He released her complete and put a little more distance between them, still remaining at a friendly distance.

'You take the bedroom' He stated. 'I am more than happy on the sofa, out here is perfect for me, it has a piano what more could I need.' His lightheartedness, false or not made her smile.

'Thank you' she said quietly and looked around the space, unsure on their next move.

'If you want a shower, or a bath' He suggested, moving to the door of the bedroom and reaching for a robe to hand to her 'the bathroom is huge, and I might order some food, if you want anything.' The offer sort of trailed of at the end as she moved over and took the robe from him. There was this sudden sense of awkwardness between them.

She nodded a couple times and then said, 'A risotto, if they have one' She said softly and he stood aside to let her into the bedroom. He made his way over to the phone and placed the order, ordering himself a steak and adding a wine to the order for good measure. He turned to find her dressed in the robe in the doorway, looking decidedly embarrassed.

'Are you okay?' Bond asked, wondering if there was anything left about to embarrass her.

'Yes, I, umm, have nothing to put on for bed' She said, again avoiding eye contact.

'Ohh, right' He said, walking towards her and pulling out his suitcase. 'I err, don't make a habit of carrying women's garments' he stated with an exaggerated shrug that made her laugh. 'But I do make a habit of bringing too many shirts, so if you are comfortable you could put the robe or even the suit back on, and then when you came to sleep you can wear one of these.' He said hold out a white, blue and grey shirt.

She walked forward and took the blue one from him. Laying it out on the bed.

'Nice choice he said with the air of the pretentious shop assistant he had originally bought the item from.

'Thankyou,' she said, returning the air 'I do always think grey washes me out' She said with a laugh.

'Well you suit blue' He said slightly too casually as he put the case away, turning to see the same expression as before on her face.

'what?' He asked, wondering if a compliment in this situation was somehow strange.

'Greg… Never liked blue,' She said quietly.

'I like it' He said despite himself and walked out to the lounge area, stopping at the door to say, 'They said the food would be 35 minutes but enjoy your bath, I'll wait for you before we eat.' With that he closed the door and she was left in the semi-darkness to process what had become of her life.

* * *

After her bath she returned to the bedroom in the robe, she lifted the suit she had worn onto the bed to put back on when the smell of Greg's cologne radiated off it. She threw it all in a corner and turned to the shirt. She knew she couldn't just wear that, but if she wore that she could button it to cover her chest then wear the robe to cover her legs. As she pulled the shirt on the softest of the cotton gave a welcome caress to her skin. I smelt faintly of Bond, the spice of his cologne still lingering on the fabric, as she was re-tying the robe she heard the piano being played. Subtle melodies that pulled at her heart-strings and made her want to dance all at once. She stood silently in the bedroom for a while, knowing that when she interrupted him he would stop playing. Only when she heard him close the instrument did she move towards the door, opening it to find him on the other side.

'I was worried you may have fallen asleep in there' He looked as sheepish as a teen caught looking at breasts.

'No I was enjoying the music' she smiled softly, noticing the flash of embarrassment that covered his face. 'You are very talented' she said as he turned to the table.

'Would you like wine?' He asked casually, attempting to change the subject

'Please' she said as she looked to the piano before looking back at him, allowing the matter to drop.

'I hope the food didn't get cold, I didn't mean to take so long'

'Not at all, I phoned back and asked for them to delay by half an hour, it only arrived a few minutes ago.'

They sat to eat and the awkwardness returned until M could no longer take it.

'Bond' His eyes met hers with tortured attention

'I am greatful for this, tonight, what you did. But this is my concern, please promise you will not involve yourself in the matter'

'You mean please don't kill the bastard.'

'Yes'

He was silent for a good while and she watched as he worked over her request. Finally he nodded to her and swallowed more wine.

'Can you promise me something?'

She cringed slightly at the request 'what is it?'

'When it does happen, when he takes his advantage' the bitterness was not hidden 'If you need to, will you come to me, you can use my house, even when I'm on a mission, just don't let him destroy you and then sleep beside him… You are worth more.'

'You want to be the knight in shining arm..?'

'No. I just want to know you're safe.'

'If it gets to the point I must, I may take you up on the offer'

Again a bit more silence

'even if you don't want me to comfort you, just get out, find a hotel and call me, talk to me about it, this is not your burden.'

His voice was low and determined, but there was a pained note of concern that was hard to ignore.

'Thank-you' She said again, and they held eachothers eyes for a moment longer.

The meal passed quickly and the clock chimed 0130 they both took it as a cue for sleep. Bond disappeared into the bedroom to collect his things as M stayed out the window again, the sea was the most calming thing to her. The moonlight reflecting from it added to the overall effect and she felt more comfortable than she had in a long while. She heard noise behind her and saw Bond carrying a pillow, blanket and case into the lounge area. It was so comical she couldn't help but laugh. He smirked at her as he chucked it on the sofa and turned back to the room, making sure he had all he needed.

'Bond' She said as she followed him 'if you're comfortable with it, you can sleep in the bed'

He turned so fast that she was sure he was furious but the look of shock did not fade and she found herself laughing more. 'You mean with you right, because I won't have you on the sofa'

'Yes with me, think you can resist' she said with sarcasm that surprised him as much. He disappeared back out to the lounge and grabbed the pillows back, before switching the lights off and walking back into the bedroom. She was just coming out of the bathroom,

'I used the spare brush in there, I assumed you would have your own' she said nervously

'I do' He smiled before walking to the bathroom, turning in the door he looked back at her, 'I normally sleep in my boxers, would you prefer I put a vest on tonight' he asked with no hint at amusement.

She shook her head and he turned into the bathroom, swallowing down all the fantasies he had of this moment.

When he entered the room again she was sitting on the duvet, chewing subconsciously on her nails.

'If your uncomfortable then I'll sleep out there, it is not a problem'

'No, I just…'

'What's wrong?'

'I'm worried about your reaction'

'too?'

'to seeing me'

So was he, did she not understand how beautiful she was in his shirt and her robe, god knew how he would react when she took it off.

'If it's uncomfortable I can go into the bathroom and… wait' a sudden thought came to him and the sickness from earlier rose in his throat. 'Are you worried because of your body or something else?'

'Both' she mumbled as she got off the bed and stood to the side. His mind suddenly filled with vivid images of earlier that evening when Greg cupped her hard and the cry of pain.

'Will you show me?' He asked

'I…'

'Please, I won't do anything but let me see' He'd moved around the bed and was now standing three feet away, not a threatening distance but close enough. She nodded again and began to undo the robe, as it moved away from her body he saw the bruises on her thighs where the shirt came to rest. He reached a hand to her hip and bent down so he was kneeling in front of her, with his other hand he lifted the shirt to see the underwear below. He dropped it and stood quickly. Suddenly regretting the promise he had made over dinner. He looked at her face and saw her pain there too. He moved and pulled her to him.

'He is not worth you, you know' he said as he reached out and turned down the duvet. He released her and rounded the bed. She had climbed in but sat upright watching him.

'Why did you follow me?' She asked, and he stopped.

'What do you mean?'

'to my room, you had a key, you followed me, why?'

'I was going to tell you…' you're beautiful, brilliant and I want to start something with you 'tell you I managed to get Mr. Baldwin away, the key was merely an opportunity' he said, turning from her.

She shrugged and lay down pulling the duvet high. Bond removed his shirt and trousers, leaving them draped across over the chair by the bathroom, he switched the light off and climbed into the bed. He lay on his back and listened to her breathing.

'I wanted to also mention how beautiful you looked tonight, and most of the time. I did not realise you were married. Or that he would be there and everything would transpire'

'I have never mentioned him to anyone at work, those who knew are both dead now and I had it removed from my file when I became M, it's an unnecessary threat.' She said simply, he turned his head to find her looking at him, the silhouette of her gently glowing in the dim moonlight escaping the curtains.

'I'm sorry for what he puts you through'

She moved her shoulders and hid her face in the pillow, for the first time Bond actually thought she may be crying. He ran a hand over her arm and took her hand, as she looked to him he saw the tear tracks that had finally graced her face and he pulled her to him. He held her to his chest and she broke down in his arms, he wondered if it was the first time someone had been there when she did. She must have cried for an hour with him soothing her, his hand gently rubbing her back, there were no need for words, just his presence gave her the strength to breakdown and feel safe. They fell asleep in these positions, with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. At one point he woke and kissed her head so softly as to not disturb her. Later, just as the sun was beginning to rise she shifted slightly, remembering her position she kissed his chest lightly and drew her leg higher against him as they slept on.

* * *

They awoke at the noise of the alarm Bond had set and broke quickly apart, with Bond slamming the alarm and heading into the bathroom. M rolled over to her side of the bed and breathed in deeply, she was sure she shouldn't feel this happy considering the recent events. She picked up the phone as she heard the shower start. Firstly she called down to the reception, asking for them to tack the room 345 onto 525's bill and also checked for messages for both rooms. She then asked to be put through to her room and listened to it ring. After 4 rings she heard a woman's voice.

'Hello'

'Ohh hi, Were you after Greg?' The sickly voice said with a giggle

'Umm no just pass on that Olivia says the rooms booked until 1400 so have fun' she said and hung up. It normally stung more than this to hear 'the hooker' answer the phone but this morning it was less a bite and more a relief, he was busy, she didn't have to worry about him. Instead she lay back in the bed and drifted off to sleep. When she woke she found a partially dressed Bond sitting against the headboard next to her, reading the Sunday paper. She shifted to cover herself more elegantly as the shirt had moved to reveal the bruises on her pale skin. She shifted uncomfortably back under the cover and tried to work out how long he had been next to her, his hair was nearly dry but he was only a few pages into the newspaper, and M knew more than to expect him to read anything that wasn't related to MI6. They stayed like that quietly until in a flurry of movement he tossed the paper to the ground and slid down into the bed so he was lying inches from her. He radiated warmth from the shower and was looking intently at her she couldn't help but brush and smile shyly.

'Good morning' he said

'Good morning' she returned rolling onto her back and stretching 'what time is it?'

'Ten'

'Ten!'

He gasped audibly 'Ten!' he repeated and smirked 'It's Sunday, even you don't work Sunday unless it's desperate, and if it was you wouldn't have attended last night.' He was right and he knew it, and she was warm and comfy so she didn't bother to argue.

'If I tell you, you are exquisite while you sleep would you kick me out of my own bed?' She smiled a broad smile and rolled towards him, using her feet she found his calf and pushed his lower half off the bed. He jumped back on next to her and pouted, she reached over and ran a hand through his damp hair 'Thanks' she said quietly, and without warning or preamble, her lips found his.

It was sweet and slow and not at all what she was used to, he let her lead, took his time but made her feel the passion building in him. He broke the kiss abruptly and cleared his throat. 'we can't' her face fell and she drew back from him, 'You're hurt, I wouldn't want to hurt you more and if we're going to do this, then I want to do it properly.' The pain was still in her eyes but she nodded her understanding and began to get out of bed, 'M' she was standing looking for the robe 'M' he said more powerfully and she looked at him. 'You don't have to be nice Bond, I understand'

'No I don't think you do' getting up and walking around towards her 'This is not something borne out the events last night, this is something I've wanted for a long time, I just don't want to hurt you or to scare you, I'm not Him' He said defiantly, he moved to her, holding his arms out and taking her hands 'I don't want to rush this and you think I'm taking advantage, you are no right, you do not own me or anyone anything, you think I want this as payment for last night, but last night with you in my arms I was happy, I still want to kill him, but you were safe with me, and you felt safe to let your guard down, don't ruin that for us now.'

He, moved closer and kissed her, she returned the gesture and they stayed like that for a few moments. This time the kiss ended in a number of smaller kisses before they could finally pull away. 'Shall we order breakfast?'

The rest of the morning past away in a lulling fashion they ordered breakfast but ate it on the sofa, they cuddled and spoke of other functions where there had been a number of drunken politicians making mockeries of themselves. They avoided the topic of her marriage and tried not to dwell on the idea of returning to the lives they knew. When the clock chimed 12 they were ready to leave, luckily M had made arrangements about her luggage with the hotel staff and that would be sent in the car with Greg. Just before they left the room, Bond wrapped an arm tightly around her and leant back against the adjacent wall, kissing her ardently.

They stepped out of the room and walked along the corridor. Her attire was perhaps a bit upmarket for the middle of the day but she walked with poise and power and no one would question her. Bond was uneasy, suddenly worried of releasing the last few hours into the past. In the elevator he turned to her, 'are you going back to him?' he asked in no way hiding the fear and slight jealousy from the statement. She nodded and he ground his jaw together. 'You could leave him' he said just before the doors opened. He moved over to check-out and realised the bill was covered, he shot a look over to M who was again standing by the glass wall overlooking the sea. He moved to her side and looked out aswell.

'If your car is waiting for Him. How are you getting back?' He asked.

'I was planning to order a Taxi' She said coolly,

'I'll drive you' He offered and although she felt she should, she made no comment, just followed him to the car.

The drive back was as laboured as the night before had been. The air stretched between them and both felt too consumed in their own thoughts to start conversation. About 50 miles from London M turned in her seat, to look at him. 'It's not as easy as just walking out the house and never returning, I made vows, I intend to keep them.'

'Even if it means being scared every other day your husband might kill you this time because you've served your purpose.'

'It isn't like that, it's not like it's everyother day, it's when things happen, if he's been drinking or lost on the horses or something, most of the time we just co-exist. It's manageable.'

'Those bruises do not suggest to me it's manageable'

'That was a particularly bad time, he isn't usually that rough and I don't normally put up as much of a fight'

Bond gave no response; he just looked on at the road and kept his face neutral.

As they joined the expected London traffic he spoke 'you know where I am, if your change your mind'

'What is this to you?' She asked looking at him, trying to find the motive behind the offer.

'This is nothing, I want you safe, and I think you feel that with me, I care, that's all.'

It was her turn to be quiet now, her hand moved to his on the gear-stick and he flexed his fingers, letting hers slot into his for the remainder of the journey. As he stopped at her house he looked at her, his eyes conveying everything from worry to jealousy. 'Remember your promise' she said, her lips and face pale at the prospect of returning home, 'You too' he said and he slid his hand up her arm and down again. The only comfort he could afford in a neighbourhood full of gossips. As she got out he watched her all the way into the house. As he drove away he felt the tug of concern and worry settle right in his chest.

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**Please review... Give me feedback, good or bad, and also your opinion on whether I should continue this one... Thanks :)**


	2. Chapter 2

So i decided to continue it... I hope you like it!

Thankyou too **LadyDuchess82, Anerisa, DarkSharker **and the** Guest review **for your opinions on the story, i've got some plans now to where i go with this...

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The abruptness in which reality reestablished itself left both shaken more than they would ever choose to admit.

M's return to reality was harsher than James' but sadly more anticipated. She had spent the hours of free time calling her children and ensuring the house was tidied. She had just retreated to the master bathroom to shower when she heard the front door close. She suddenly felt cold, her whole body feeling the icicles of fear being set in her veins. She looked longingly at the door where the lock had been. With all the security systems placed on the house to protect the inhabitants it was a poor tale how one kick could break into her only sanctuary. She hurried into the shower, she needed to remove the smell of Bond that she was sure he would notice. Her mind was on red alert as she heard him begin up the stairs, he was in the bedroom, metres away from her. She felt paralyzed with fear, she knew she should dress before he entered. As she shut off the water and turned, the door opened. He wasn't wearing his T-shirt, or his shoes or socks. He stood on the other side of the glass and smirked at her. A nasty, twisted smirk that made her stomach bottom out. He gripped the handle and slid the glass back. She instinctively backed against the wall. Her eyes never leaving his face as he looked her up and down. He was standing so close and the stench of alcohol on his breath and the fear were sickening.

'Lasts nights pretty little thing was gorgeous, and as flexible as string' He learnt into her, pushing her into the wall, the material of his jeans chaffing on her bare legs. She was used to this: his almost kind behaviour as he told her how he had fucked others. He nipped at her neck and placed kisses across her skin, she silently whimpered, trying desperately not to let the tears fall.

'She was young to, only 22 and wow did she look it' He ran his hand through her hair, tilting her face upwards to towards this then ran one finger down her cheek. He was staring at her but almost past her.

'No lines' he traced her jaw, 'No marks' tracing over her stomach, 'No scars' he bit down on her shoulder, just above the gunshot wound that sat white on her shoulder blade. She whimpered here, and could no longer hold back the tears. She could feel him pressed hard against her leg.

'She was perfect you know, absolutely incredible, and she had me up most of the night'. She knew he was fumbling with his jeans and heard the heavy belt buckle hit the floor of the shower, panicky heat was surrounding her as she tried desperately to keep down the nausea. His hand was tracing her stomach and breasts, palming her in a way that she barely took notice of.

'She was perfect' he repeated 'and then I come home to this' He thrust into her and she screamed, cut short by the hand which found her throat. And as she was pinned to the wall of her shower reality hit her. She wished she wasn't alive, if all she had to feel was the burning of her throat and the agony between her legs.

* * *

For Bond it occurred when he saw the hooker standing on the other side of the door looking at him with a cute little smile and big blue eyes. Jesus they had to be blue!

He had drove around for hours in the London traffic, choosing all the roads he knew would be busiest as the insanity of the drivers focused his mind away from the events that may be transpiring across town. He could not stop the small voice in his head 'two O'clock: he'd be leaving the hotel about now, three O'clock: he'd be arriving home about now'. Four O'clock came and his mind was still berating him on his promise, his lack of action, and his willingness to drop her back into a life of abject misery. What were they doing now? Would she have waited for him to return? Was she as hurt and afraid as she had seemed the night before? By six he found even the London traffic was nothing compared to the roar in his head.

He returned to his flat, the classy upscale bachelor pad expected of the young, successful stock-broker he was believed to be. It was wholly impersonal, various shades of grey marred the walls, the furniture was steel or grey to match and the carpets and tiles were dark. No life hung in the form of paintings, nothing of any expression to suggest his existence. His bedroom was different, but still detached; the walls were white with wooden furniture pushed against the walls. He had never noticed how dreary it all was, his life was full of the threats and rotted underbellies of the world, he could see the most phenomenal things during his travels but the memories left in the wake of his mission led him to resent and repress them. He blandness had suited him when he needed to feel numb to the bitter taste of regret and remorse his job left in his mouth. But now it felt suffocating, for once he wanted the mindless distraction of a television, he didn't want to be numb, but he didn't want to think. He realised he desperately needed to invest in a piano for the place. He didn't want to be there, he felt the uneasy nervousness of every cell ebbing him to go to her and shoot the bastard, save her from the hell. As this thought hit him he heard a knock on his door. His heart leaped and he ran to his door, pulling it open to welcome M into the sanctuary he couldn't survive not giving.

To his confusion, disappointment and disgust, it was not M.

He swallowed hard and turned, beckoning her in; of course it was a Sunday.

'Jewel sent me, standing order if I'm correct' She was tall, slim and tanned, her hair brown and flowing down her back, she had wide hips and breasts that were almost too perfect to be real, she was dressed in designer business attire. Bond turned and smirked, 'And what's your name precious?' he asked in his most alluring voice.

She gave him a smirk and ran her tongue along her lips. 'Apatite'

He led her to the bedroom and she treated him like they always did, with the kind and attentive nature which was as superficial as his interest in them. This one however, he treated differently, he was so unbelievably tender. When she went down on him he did not grab a handful of her hair to keep her in place, nor did he thrust into her mouth until he heard her choke, he gently stroked the nape of her neck instead. She seemed almost disarmed by his behaviour. He found he couldn't look into the eyes as she moved up the bed to straddle him, so, with the speed of a 00 he fipped them over and took her carefully from behind.

They lay together for a small while as they caught their breath, her hand moved to his chest and she offered him the rest of the night, but he declined. A week before, like all the Sundays before that he would have accepted, he had grown used to the hour he paid for stretching to an all-nighter. But tonight even a warm body next to him wouldn't suffice as a distraction from the night before. He gave her the excuse of an early flight and offered her a generous tip, she got him off again for his kindness and left him in peace.

* * *

She was sat on the cool shower floor, arms wrapped around her knees and forehead pressed to the top of them. He had kept her there for what seemed like an eternity. Her shoulder blades and hips were bruised and sore. She hadn't moved since he had exited the bathroom, her body cooling and drying from her shower, she was trembling although seemed to be past tears now. Her throat was sore, he hadn't held her with enough force to restrict her breathing, just to prove the control he had over her. She had tried to be numb, to clear her mind and ignore the pain, but she found that after the care and comfort James had offered her last night, it was all too intense to ignore.

She pulled herself up and turned the water on again, needing to wash what she could of him off her. The most disturbing feeling, was this sudden desire to run, to leave and find solace in James open arms. She contemplated all the scenarios, but knew she wouldn't, the angry that always grew from the pride she still kept came and went as she let the water beat onto her back. By the time she got out of the shower and changed, she was back to her calm, resigned self. She went downstairs and made dinner, placing a tray infront of him on the coffee table before retreating to the dinner room to eat her own dinner alone. She returned to the kitchen to wash her dishes, collecting his and bringing him another beer. She realised again how much she hated her life.

* * *

Bond got up, he found it impossible to lie there and do nothing. He moved back into the darkened living room and poured a glass. Moving to the sofa he sat, swilling the liquid around and around while trying to find the loophole in her instructions. As the contents of the glass dwindled he found himself more frustrated at the situation. Picking up his phone he now flipped it over in his palm battling whether to call her or not. He dialed her number and cleared the screen. He hated this middle ground, where he didn't know if she was okay or not.

In a complete twist he found himself calling Jewel.

'Hello, Jewels Precious Moments, how may we assist you?'

'Jewel, James Bond'

'Ohh James, how are you? How was Apatite?'

'Fine, a request?'

'You want another?'

'No, the opposite, cancel the Sunday sessions, if I need them, I'll call?'

'Are you ok?' She sounded honestly concerned which Bond found amusing

'Fine, I have just… lost my interest'

'Well we will miss your custom; most of the girls still talk about you, call anytime '

'Goodbye Jewel' He said with a smirk and hung up.

He threw his phone across the sofa and stood. Moving back into the bedroom he lifted his bag onto the bed and began to unpack, he pulled out the top she had been wearing. He stared at it before folding it and placing it down looking around the room. The move over to the other side of the bed and pulled out the drawers of the bedside cabinet. Emptying the pointless contents on the bed he placed the folded shirt in the middle drawer. He would leave her stuff in there, at least then when she came she would be comfortable. It was his way of taking care of her even if he couldn't be there. He unpacked the rest of his case and walked into the bathroom, deciding a shower may help loosen the tension.

* * *

M had retreated to her office on the second floor. She sat sorting thought the progress reports of those on missions, the expense claims of those who had returned and the constant complaints from Q branch over the blatant destruction of equipment. She had been in there for perhaps 2 hours when the door to the office opened. She felt the cold wash her, but she managed to look up at him as he walked in and sat down opposite her.

'Do you want a drink?' her voice shook slightly as she stood

'Yes' She poured two glasses and dropped a fair amount of ice into his.

'Who was that man?' He asked when she handed him the glass

'Which?' she asked, nonplussed, but regretted questioning him immediately as his eyes flashed with malice.

'Last night Bitch, the one with a key. Bond or Bund or'

'Bond. He's a bodyguard at those types of events.' It wasn't quite a lie; he was there for safety reasons

'What did you tell him about us?'

'Nothing, he knows not to ask' she looked quickly at her computer, mainly to avoid his gaze.

'You were out all night' He moved around to stand next to her, looking down at her.

'I didn't finish my call until late, I booked another room. I didn't want to disturb you'

'Did he go too?'

'What do you mean?' She shot him a scared glance

'Did you sleep with him?' She faltered, she couldn't quite deny it, the words stuck in her throat.

He slammed his palm down on the desk while grabbing a fistful of her hair, yanking her head back

'Did you let him fuck you?' He shouted and she shook her head violently, tears pouring from her eyes at the pain and fear.

He laughed at her, lowering his mouth to her lips in a kiss that was nothing but terrifying. Pushing off the desk he released her and moved back to his chair. She wiped her eyes hastily and tried to school her features.

'It doesn't surprise me, why would he wanna have you?' She said nothing, so he continued 'you know you are nothing don't you, compared to these beauty's he has you must be a nonentity to him'

She looked up, and despite all the concern and pain she felt, including the thoughts she had already that he was merely reinforcing a small part of her disagreed, he had held her close all night, willingly keeping her with him and at the point it could have turned sexual it didn't, not because he wasn't interested but because he didn't want to hurt her. Knowing Bond, refusing sex was probably one of the biggest compliments he could ever pay. She looked at her husband, feeling the small fire inside her chest loosening a bit of the fear.

He stood, looking her up and down and laughed at her again as he left the room. She looked over at his drink, which he had finished, picking up the glass she walked over to the drink cabinet again and found the pills she kept there. Slipping the contents of a sleeping pill into his drink she shut off her computer and made her way into the bedroom. He was removing his trousers, a sight that always scared her, no matter how placid he seemed. She placed his drink on the tallboy and hers on the bedside table, moving back downstairs under the pretense of locking up. She left him for 20 minutes, hoping he had drank enough to just sleep. He had calmed from earlier, but that didn't stop her from worrying. She stood looking out into the garden, the rain gently pouring down, opening the window she held out her hand, letting the water splash onto her palm. Enjoying the sensations it gave her, she didn't quite understand why water gave her such a calming reaction. When all was quiet she made her way back upstairs, looking over his sleeping form with disgust. She changed for bed and lay down next to him, studying his face she couldn't help but feel the hate that welled up inside her. But there she was, in his bed, the rightfully good wife.

Once they had found the reality of the situation, sleep seemed to be impossible

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Review please... And if you think it's their thing, forward to your buddies, the more opinions the better... :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello guys :) **

**Not quite sure how this happened so quickly but here is another chapter!**

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That week pushed both to their limits, both emotionally and physically.

As Monday morning came neither had received much sleep, Bond hadn't slept at all, he had spent the night at his window watching the pouring rain. Playing the events of the night before like a film on repeat: sometimes as mine, sometime just the sounds but always in perfect clarity.

As he entered the building he had every intention of talking to M and convincing her of the need to leave Greg. But as he made his way to her office he found her busy in a meeting with Q, he waited for half an hour before heading down to his own office, or that's what they called it, he had asked Moneypenny to call him in when she was done but he heard nothing. He waited for three hours until the phone finally rang,

'M'

'Moneypenny'

'Ahh, well hello Moneypenny, will she see me now?'

'Yes, your presence is required' she said in a flirtatiously bored voice.

'Excellent'

As he made his way to the lift he met Tanner. They both entered and Bond pressed M's floor, turning to Tanner waiting for a number, he shook his head.

'I'm going to M's floor too'

He offered a silent 'ohh' and pressed the button to close the doors. He had hoped M would want see him alone, just to discuss the weekend's events, but apparently not. Not only did it occur then, but M seemed to refuse to see him alone. Every single time Bond was near she was surrounded by people, she treated him like she had before, which he had expected, but she wouldn't look at him and hardly addressed him at all, she gave him nothing, not even a sly look to suggest she was ok. He watched her movements that Monday, closer than he ever had before. Watching for the subtle hints of pain, and they came, when she reached up or across to far her brow wavered the slightest amount. He assumed the pain was in her shoulders or back and in a sickening realization he knew Greg had taken his advantage on her, again.

That night he went home and drank the full bottle of Edradour he had bought but still he found no sleep. He was angry and agitated, as the sun rose he found his anger directed at M for her unwillingness to help herself, or let him. But this faded when the memory of her crying into his chest came back to him as the birds began to sing.

He went to work again, the lack of sleep and effects of the alcohol satiated him. He made no effort to find her and stayed hidden away in the parts he knew she wouldn't normally visit. If she wanted to find him she could but he couldn't deal with seeing her and not do a damn thing. Tuesday blurred into hours of paperwork and phone-calls. He returned home with nothing left in him and fell to his bed, he didn't sleep well, waking around every hour at a noise he was sure was her, but she never came. At daybreak he rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling as his right hand smoothed over the mattress where she had lay with him only 72 hours before. He curled his fist into the sheets, it had been a different bed, he wasn't sure how real it had all been, it sat somewhere between a dream and a nightmare but left an all to real painful tightness in his chest.

He heard his alarm, and began his morning, arriving in work with his usual 0735 smirk in place. He logged in and found an email from Moneypenny. He read it with rapt attention, only to be disappointed. He was needed at M's office for a meeting at 12, he could see it had also been sent to Q and Tanner. He threw his pen across the room and stormed out, he would distract himself in Q branch, at least there were things to keep him occupied.

The meeting, as it turned out, was highly important. After bothering Q for near enough five hours he felt almost happy to entered M office, Moneypenny sat in and took note, as M walked around Tanner explained how a mission had gone wrong during an operation in Mali. A rumour of smuggled sapphires which were being transferred for information into the EU had reached the SIS and double 004 had been sent to resolve the matter.

'Unfortunately, we haven't heard from him since Saturday Ma'am, he contacted us to inform us of a train he was taking to pursue a lead and was supposed to check in before midnight…'

'It's not unusual for agents to stay under the radar' Bond pointed out, glancing around the table and met all eyes but M's

'For you maybe Bond' Q said 'But 4 was incredibly cautious and always checked in'

'He had already checked in that morning' Moneypenny pointed out

'We all like our Sunday too ourselves don't we' Q said good-naturedly as Tanner and Moneypenny smiled up at him, Bond's attention however was luckily on M, as it had been for most of the meeting, or else he would have missed the flinch, the subtle, composed but undeniable flinch at the memories of her Sunday afternoon. For the first time her eyes looked up to meet his, for the fraction of a second he felt the emotions they were conveying. The pain, humiliation and shame all hit him as he saw a sliver of the M from that Saturday night through her façade.

The rest were still chuckling and in the time it took her to sit she was fully recomposed. 'We need to look past this, if 004 is out then we need to re-strategise.' the room fell back into calm seriousness.

'So what exactly is the mission?' Bond questioned

'To find out the allies, our sources tell us French but we are unsure, It is also to alert the Malian government of the mine without handing them our terrorists, once they have them we are in messy territory' Tanner turned to the screen and brought up aerial images of the mine.

'So find the mole, kill the terrorists but leave the mine intact' M summarised, her eyes meeting his left shoulder instead of his eyes.

'When do I leave?' He asked, turning his attention to Tanner but catching in his perhipheral how M's head shot up at his words

'Not yet, we will give him the week and if we hear nothing be ready to leave Monday morning, Q will equip you incase'

'I don't know if I have anything to give him after the ransacking he gave the place this morning' Q's grandfatherly protests adjourned the meeting. As Bond was leaving he heard her call his name, he turned to find M looking at him from across the room, really looking at him with a cool authority while Moneypenny cleared the desk between them.

'I want you to go down to the doctor and have an evaluation, I also think over the next few days you need to head to combat and the gunnery. It has been a while since you were in the field'

He turned and nodded before exiting wordlessly.

The doctor carried out too many tests than necessary, probably as payback for Bonds inability to call after their excursions to the bedroom (if making it that far). She sat him through every test she could think of, found reasons to run every blood test and threatened to send him to the shrink for evaluation, as Bond would always take at least a week to clear it. He was sure in his present state he'd be written off as an agent, so instead he kissed her quick and left her to it.

He headed up to the combat facility and booked himself in for evaluation for the following day. On his way out he looked into the gym, it was empty, so he moved down the hall to the locker room and changed out of his suit into something more comfortable. The idea of physical exertion felt like a welcomed blessing to his exhausted mind. He started with a basic warm up, then ran through all of the components of the fitness test, completing them with ease and pushing on for that extra level. It gave him the first real sense of being human since Saturday, he felt he needed to keep going, although certain parts were aching more than he would probably choose to admit.

He moved to the combat area, with padded walls and floor with a number of punch-bags hanging down. He approached one and threw a right-hook, it was a weak effort even for him. He took a deep breath and swung again, as he hit it his mind flashed to when he had grabbed Greg and held him against the wall. He took a few steps away before lunching forward, he kicked and punched, perfectly precise hits to cause ultimate damage. He was unsure how long he had been fighting for, all he could here was the blood in this ears and the ringing of M's scream.

In her office, she could see he held a brilliant fight of continual attack moves for over seven minutes, as Moneypenny and Tanner watched on M couldn't help but feel his burst of energy was due to the pent up struggles he was facing, and she felt fully responsible.

As his anger finally cooled he struggled to see straight, he turned and looked towards the door, there she stood, in his shirt that barely covered the bruises, with tears in her eyes as she whispered his name, somehow reverberating around the room, he responsed by stepping towards her. His legs gave way and he fell to the floor, the last thing he remembered was her scared white face 'Remember your promise'.

M Stood from her desk as her and Eve shouted his name, the two women looked at eachother and then to Tanner, M only thankful she had used Bond instead of James which had sat on the tip of her tongue, the last thing she needed now were rumors of sentimentality and a jealous PA. Tanner dived for the phone in the centre of the conference table, calling down to the combat facility he demanded them to go to Bond. As he hung up he made his way to the door, informing both ladies, but more directly at Eve not to panic and he would sort it. Just as he left he not so subtly pulled the cable from the power source so the enlarged view of Bonds body, unmoving on the floor, disappeared from the scene.

Bond came round as he felt something injected into his arm, at first his fight or flight kicked in and he struggled against the aggressors, but he felt the aches in his body and gave up his struggle. He opened his eyes to see the burly, tattooed combat instructor leaning over him.

'Afternoon sunshine' He shouted as he slapped Bonds face jokingly. 'You pass out big man'

'Must of' he was groggy, and he was sat up, he also had no top on. 'How long was I out for,'

'You been out…' he looked at the electric clock on the wall, '17 minutes. Not that long but you gave us a shock, we didn't even know you were in here.'

'Yeah well…' He was distracted by his arm, 'What have you got me strapped up to?'

'IV… It's just glucose, proteins and some pain relief. Finish this bag, stay sat down for half an hour then you can go shower you sweaty bastard.' He grinned down at Bond and helped him to a more comfortable sitting position.

'I will whip you tomorrow.' He jabbed back before he noticed Tanner in the background, he stepped forward when he realised he had been acknowledged and everyone moved a respectable distance away. He knelt down too Bond's ear level. 'Are you alright?' Bond nodded, 'What shall I tell Ma'am?'

'Tell her…' he paused, figuring what he wanted her to hear that Tanner could relay. 'That I was merely preparing for when the time comes.'

'Is that how you expect to die?' Bond looked surprised then realised how his words must of sounded

'I assume you saw the fight?' he beckoned to the punchbag with his free arm and Tanner nodded, 'It was a way to go' He said with a smirk.

He spent only twenty more minutes down before gaining his footing and walking around to prove to the staff he was physically fine. Once they were satisfied he showered and changed into his suit again. Although his locker was locked and nothing was out of place inside, he found a rehydration drink for him. He walked back to his office thinking over what had seemed to happen to him, he wasn't worried, considering his last few days he was impressed by this stamina. It was his mind that was worrying him, was he actually going to go mad?

He sat in this office for hours, feeling as his body regained some of the strength that the fatigue had wiped from him. Only when the clock turned to 1900 did he think about moving. He headed along and to the elevator. He had planned to go home but he reached for the button and found himself pressing M's before he knew what he had done, once he arrived he found Moneypenny was gone, he knew M would be working but he couldn't draw up the courage to go into her office. Half of his mind convinced him it was right to make her talk about these matters and another part was concerned that she may see it as threat. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. So he sat, opposite her door but far enough from the evelator that if she chose just to bypass him, she could.

It was close to 2000 when M opened the door to her office, Bond sat straight ahead, his elbows on his knees and his fingers pressed together, he was resting his forehead on his thumbs and stared at the floor. She felt all of the emotion she could normally bury flow into her at the sight of him waiting for her, seeing him only added to her concern over what had happened to him that afternoon.

'James' she said in a near sigh and he looked up, eyes slightly red, leaning back against the chair he looked her over for signs of discomfort. 'Come inside' she coaxed him, her voice quiet.

'So now you will see me' he asked in a hollow tone 'I wouldn't want you to feel ill at ease if it is just me and you.'

'James… There are cameras, please do not make me fall apart in front of them' her voice was quivering as tears began to form in her eyes. He stood and moved towards her as she moved further back into the office, he shut the room and left them in partial darkness. He made to approach her but she shook her head, scared that his contact would break the wall of resistance she had against her emotions. He moved to the sofa and slumped onto it heavily. Watching her he spoke

'I cannot stop thinking about it M, I am constantly going mad over whether you are safe or' He cut himself off. She stood in the dark, looking at him with her arms wrapped protectively around herself. 'Why didn't you come on Sunday, I didn't know if you were alive, all I could think was that you were being… hurt and I couldn't do a thing' The strain of the week was finally releasing itself and he felt himself shaking slightly.

'I'm sorry' She said sorrowfully.

'No' He snapped and looked up, eyes burning 'I do not want YOUR god damn apologies! I want you to leave him.' He slumped back again, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. 'You are worth so much more' he said in a much calmer tone which cut her deeper.

'He is my husband'

'So what! He doesn't act like it! Husbands do not do what he does, did he feel like your husband on Sunday M, when he forced himself on you do you think he was thinking of the vows he had taken!' His voice shook and he watched as the words he spoke shredded her protective veil.

'James' her dam burst and he stood enough to reach for her and pulled her to him on the sofa.

'I wanted to James, so badly but… I… I just' She cried into his shoulder and he found that in his exhausted state a tear or two graced his face aswell. They stayed tucked away into eachother for a while slowly calming and becoming entirely comfortable in their positions. Bonds movements were languid and he was having trouble in keeping his eyes open. M moved slightly to look into his face, she could see the stress and worry there and gently placed her palm on his cheek. 'When was the last time you slept?'

'I slept a bit last night, an hour, here and there' she moved herself off him and the sofa and sat beside it, her elbow resting in the gap between the leather cushions and the armrest, with her head rested in her hand. She moved one of the plush square pillows into the crook of the sofa and patted it 'lay here Bond'

He did as he was told but gave her a half-smile, 'I don't want you mothering me M'

She chuckled 'neither do I… I just want you to rest'

His eyes fluttered slightly as he found a comfortable position, his lips were less than 4 inches from hers. She stroked her thumb over his cheek and kissed his lips gently, offering a whispered 'thank you'

She sat there as his breathing evened out and he finally relaxed into a decent sleep. She moved away and grabbed the blanket she kept with her change of clothes. Throwing it over him again she considered his sleeping form, she found herself longing for a shift in reality, for it to be him she could go home to instead of Greg. She moved around to the deskchair, thinking of processing some more of the paperwork she had but found most of her attention on Bond. She had worried about him since the Gym incident, and although everyone looked lightly on it as just another dehydration case, his medical showed his blood-pressure was high and the amount of alcohol in his blood-stream sat him over the limit. She couldn't help but feel the responsibly for his current state, moving back into her position on the floor she rested her chin on his pillow, talking softly to him about her gratitude and concerns, how much she needed him and how he made her feel worthy, in the quiet tranquility she found herself drifting off to sleep in a matter of minutes.

Bond woke when he felt a draft around him, the blanket had slid off him as he rolled over onto his side. He stirred and looked down at his watch, it was close to midnight. He moved himself slightly and saw M resting beside him; head perched on her arm over the sofa. He stroked her arm and leant in to kiss her cheek, as she began to rouse he kissed her face and lips. She pulled back and looked around, seemingly shocked by the situation she was in. When she looked at Bond she smiled shyly and stood, moving back to her desk to collect her things. He folded the blanket and turned to ask where to put it when he found her right up behind him. She took it gently from him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head settling easily over his head and listening to the steady beating. 'M I will never be able to be fine with all of this, I want yo… I need you to be safe'

'I am' She said as she squeezed him tighter,

'You will let go soon, then you will go home and be hurt and I don't know if I can let you'

She pulled away slightly, 'I will be'

'How do you know?'

'Because it's Wednesday, he hires… company on Wednesdays, he will be asleep when I get home or she might still be'

'If the hooker is in your bed where do you sleep?'

'We have guest rooms' she mumbled

'Will he notice… If you don't go home?' He was looking at her in a way that made her sure if she left with him she would never go back.

'I need to go home'

His jaw clenched, she felt him tense and move away but he made no comment. He nodded his understanding and met her eyes

'Sleep in the guest room' he pleaded and she threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him tightly.

Once they broke apart he made his quick goodbyes and left, he felt like the wind was completely knocked from him, he hardly remembered how he had gotten himself home or into bed, he woke that morning feeling much better than he had, he felt that even if she wasn't with him he felt she was safe.

The next few days flew by with assessments, meetings and briefings into his mission in Africa. Him and M spoke very little and he found his time so full with meaningless jobs that he couldn't even saunter up to see how things were progressing. They returned to a more relaxed relationship, closer to what they had been before that weekend but she avoided eye-contact more than necessary. As Friday evening came Bond was shooting in the gunnery, when he turned to find her in the glass window. He blinked, thinking it was another illusion but he felt perfectly fine. He removed his head gear and moved to the door, on opening it she pulled him forward and into the blind spot of the single security camera.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing, I, well… Just be careful, please?' Her eyes flittered around as she toyed with her hands, looking more like a teenager with a crush than the head of a government organisation.

He chuckled 'Of course' then returned to seriousness, 'you too'

He bent down and kissed her, it was more seductive than any they had shared before but also conveyed everything he wanted her to know. She gave him one more deep look before disappearing out of sight.

* * *

**Just to clarify i have nothing against either Mali or France, I chose two numbers out of 204 and then looked them up in the olympics, therefore deciding the countries. **

**Review and i'll love you! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay... 1 - I'm sorry for the delay, this chapter was really hard! 2 - I am still not sure on it but i have chopped and changed it so much I just think you need to read and let me know 3 - Thank you to those who are reviewing, it's lovely to hear what you think.**

**Warning - This chapter has scenes of domestic abuse in. I haven't written in detail but I have tried to make it clear to you what M is being put through, again not easy...**

**Set at the same point Chapter Three started**

* * *

That week pushed both to their limits, both emotionally and physically.

M's Monday morning was nothing but expected, her alarm woke her at 5 and showered quickly, changing in the bathroom to avoid too much attention from her husband. He didn't have to wake until after 7 but if he was awoken by her morning preparations it would normally result in a bad day all round. She returned from the bathroom to see his sleeping form facing away from her. She breathed a sigh of relief and went downstairs where she made his lunch and prepped veg for their dinner that night. At 0600 she saw the car pull up and quietly left the house.

On arriving in the office she buried herself in paperwork, calling Q up around 0800 to discuss special water equipment that would be needed by 009 in the next few weeks. After an hour and a half they were settled on the equipment types and transit arrangements. As Q left Moneypenny came in, looking somewhat concerned,

'Ma'am'

'Yes Moneypenny'

'Is Bond in trouble?'

M bristled slightly, although so acutely she didn't think Moneypenny noticed.

'Why do you think that?'

'He came up, looks like death, he waited for close to an hour to see you and then told me to call him the minute you were free…' She was looking straight at M, waiting for instruction, she probably thought something went wrong at the dinner.

'He isn't in trouble here' She paused to consider a worthy excuse 'He is probably wanting a case, we have kept him out of the field since Australia, he never was one to follow protocol'

M watched as Moneypenny's face lightened into a small grin

'So he is just being same old Bond then?'

M forced a smile along with her

'Yes, we will leave him stew while I get through this paperwork and then we will call him up here.'

Moneypenny nodded and turned to leave, stopping in the doorway to speak again

'He didn't look well, I was a little worried'

M could see how she felt unnerved and offered a genuine smile

'I'm sure he is fine Eve'

'Yes Ma'am'

She left the office looking more reassured about Bond. M however buried her head into her hands, she had tried all morning to ignore every little thought of Bond that came into her mind and there was Moneypenny bringing him up, expecting answers she couldn't give. She felt the troubling urge to call him up to the office to sit on the sofa as she cried into his lap about the night before and have him take her to somewhere safe and not leave her side. But her pride wouldn't let it, whatever else Greg was, he was firstly her husband. She disregarded the thoughts and pushed on with her paperwork. She found it easy to conceal herself in her work; she had done it for years before. There was something in the power and control over everything in her work sphere that made all the pain and fear disappear, on the nights she couldn't sleep she either found herself working thought things in her mind or would quietly move herself into her study. The hours passed quickly as she made the correct phone calls and signed off all of the paperwork she had left from the previous week.

She took a deep breath and leant back into her chair, closing her eyes she allowed her mind to drift over the weekend: The dinner had been a success, as the letters of recommendation for grants and approvals this morning had proven. She had returned to her room excited in the idea of sleep and relaxation and had entered to find Greg sat on the sofa of her room, drunk and domineering. She had resigned herself to the worst, tried pitifully to reason with him, although she knew it would only make him laugh at her when it was all over. Then, out of nowhere, Bond had arrived, grabbed him and pulled him from her, she was sure he would have killed him if she hadn't managed to stop him and now she was questioning whether she should have; there were moments where all she wanted was for Greg to suffer and die for what he put her through.

She brought herself back into her world of the living and stood, walking aimlessly around because she felt if she sat still she may burst. Bond had taken her, removed her from the danger Greg was and kept her safe, not only physically but let her break down into his arms. He had been something she wasn't used to having, a sort of external pillar of strength; someone she could discuss her pain and trouble with. The problem was she couldn't work out if she found this a blessing or not, he had been perfectly caring and made her feel secure but she was so scared to let anything come of his attention. She remembered how she had kissed him, she had wanted him in a way her husband had forbidden her from and her main fear was what if he found out, if this was how he treated her when she was faithful, she dreaded how he would treat her if he discovered she had spent the night in someone else's arms.

The thoughts made her hands begin to tremble, and she felt small shivers of fear begin up her spine. She couldn't let him in, if she let Bond care for her she wasn't sure she could return to Greg and he was her husband. She resolved herself to dismiss the events of the weekend, Bond was her employee and that was final.

Or so she thought.

She found she had to use her entire will power to ignore the need for his comfort, as soon as he entered her office she could see what Moneypenny was referring to he looked tired, worn, almost defeated. Things Bond made sure the never was. Each time he looked at her she felt emotions constricting her chest, she avoided eye contact, it made it easier to remain professional. She knew he was watching her but acted as un-phased as possible. They rest of the day past quickly, between meeting and phone calls there wasn't a moment where Bond had the chance to see her alone and she kept her mind busy enough to block out any other thoughts.

At around 1900 she left, as she arrived home she heard nothing and breathed a sigh of relief. Her night was uneventful, with Greg returning just after 2200 she re-heated the food she had made earlier and left him to the television as she moved to the bedroom. She slept fitfully that night, waking every couple of hours and struggling to return to sleep. 0500 came all to quickly as she carried out her usual moring routine and headed into work. The Prime Minister was having one of his many tantrums so M spent most of her day out of the office, an easy way of avoiding Bond. Her night was as uneventful as the night before and although Greg's vindictive snipes at her and his criticism over the food, he wasn't physical, which made it a good night.

Wednesday was less straight-forward, Bond would be going back into the field. This didn't usually concern her but as soon as Tanner mentioned they needed Bond on the mission she felt tightness in her stomach. Although she felt she couldn't accept his offer of solace, it was comforting having it all the same and the idea of him being over 2000miles away, involved in a mission where they suspected they had already lost one 00 was unnerving. She called a meeting and was concerned that Bond looked even worse than he had on Monday, her and Eve shared a momentarily look of concern to each other. As the meeting drew on she found it increasing more difficult not to look at him, he looked ill, eyes bloodshot which she imagined was due to too much whiskey.

It was impossible for her to sit in this state of mind so she circled the room while Tanner briefed Q and Bond on the details surrounding the mission. She was only half listening until she heard Q's amused voice

'We all like our Sunday afternoons after all'

Her mind filled with images of her bathroom and Greg's grunts and malicious whispers, she flinched, she knew she had and however subtle she was she was sure Bond had seen, for the first time she looked up into his eyes and, as expected, she felt all the agony, torment and grieve show themselves to him.

The rest were oblivious to the tension between her and Bond and she made her way quickly to her chair, feeling weak and not trusting her legs. She forced all emotion away and returned to the mission

'We need to look past this, if 004 is out then we need to re-strategise.' She found it hard to keep her voice level and Q's brow twitched slightly as he looked at her,

'So what exactly is the mission?' Bond questioned, drawing Q's attention from her.

Tanner explained the mission logistics and M found her strength again and joined back in with her confident tone.

'When do I leave?' Bond retorted, looking directly at Tanner as M looked at him, feeling a mixture of concern and hurt, neither she felt she should be feeling. Why was he so willing to leave? She knew he enjoyed his job but he had been so adamant about looking after her and now he was practically running from the country. She began to consider if he didn't care at all and he had merely felt obliged.

The meeting ended quickly and without input from M, as they were packing away she caught eyes again with Eve and nodded gently at her. She swallowed hard and begged her voice to stay calm.

'Bond' He turned and she held his eyes, desperately trying not to give anything away in her eyes.

'I want you to go down to the doctor and have an evaluation, I also think over the next few days you need to head to combat and the gunnery. It has been a while since you were in the field'

He turned and nodded before exiting wordlessly, another stab to her as she began to chew the inside of her cheek.

M saw Moneypenny's concern and waved her off before she spoke.

'Call the doctor and the training facilities, I want them to fully test him and I want to know when he is scheduled in for everything, we will keep an eye on him'

Moneypenny gave a relieved sigh and nodded before leaving. M walked over to the window, feeling tears begin to slip down her cheek. She let them.

* * *

She had summoned Tanner and Eve into her office after receiving Bond's medical reports, she told them he had some grey areas but overall had passed, not the entire truth but M knew how much he could handle and, as long as he passed the physical, he would be fine on the mission. As they sat discussing him M's phone rang, it was the combat facility informing M that Bonds evaluation was scheduled for the following day. As M relayed the information Tanner typed at the wall computer and pulled up the CCTV of the gym, where Bond could be seen stretching.

'His evaluation is tomorrow Tanner, we do not need to watch practice' M said with emphasis as Eve's face flushed with excitement before she noticed M's pointed look and schooled her features.

'Ma'am if he is under-par we need to brief another agent, the earlier we know the better.'

As M had no argument they sat and watched Bonds workout, he easily ticked all of the boxes for the medical, as Eve and Tanner praised. M however found his display of strength slightly frightening,_ 'he has more power than Greg'_ a small voice said _'He could do more damage'_. She shook herself mentally, _'Bond wouldn't dare, he has too much respect for me, and anyway he sees me as his boss, not a woman, he would never'_. She frowned too herself, hating the way her mind made her worry.

Bond moved out of view of the camera and Tanner tapped a couple of the keys to bring up the camera placed in the combat area. They watched his weak swing and Tanner looked at M, before she could speak Eve piped up.

'Give him a second'

And they did, watching as he drew back looked at the punch bag and swung again, they could all see his focus in the hits he made. M felt she knew who he was imagining the punch bag was, and she felt a mixed sense of being protected and feeling completely vulnerable. As he finally began to relent they watched as he swayed where he stood he turned slowly looking directly in the direction of the camera, only focused about 6 foot below it, they wondered who had entered as they saw him step forward. They watched in almost slow motion his legs gave way and him fall to the floor.

M Stood from her desk her heart pounding with fear, as Tanner excused himself she fell back into the chair as Eve paced around.

'He will be fine' she heard herself saying when Eve asked for her input.

20 minutes later Tanner returned and Eve rushed to him expectantly,

'He is fine, dehydrated, that's all'

'Then why the hell was he training so hard?' M snapped.

'He said to tell you that he was preparing for when the time comes.' Tanner shrugged and eve looked confused, M swallowed and nodded.

'Eve take him some food and a god-damn drink. We need him functioning for the mission' the words sounded foreign on her tongue.

She dismissed everyone the rest of the day, stating she had too much paperwork to have meetings that were not essential. Eve did well at fighting off the masses and felt M alone for most of the time, only occasionally bringing in more paperwork from various departments. M called home to tell Greg she would be late, not that he was concerned. Her mind wouldn't let her focus and the more she tried to work the more her mind drifted to Bond.

By 1945 she found she couldn't concentrate anymore and would have to return home, this thought, although never a happy one, was made worse by the fact her husband would have called a hooker like he did every Wednesday (a midweek treat for himself at M's expense), usually M would stay late at work but tonight it would be impossible, everything reminded her of Bond. She knew she could go home and slip into the study; she had come home before to find her bedroom occupied, but it wasn't an appealing option. She searched for a late night art gallery or something but she knew she had no choice. She packed up and left the office stopping in the doorway as she noticed Bond.

* * *

By the time she actually left the building it was gone midnight, she had dismissed her drivers hours before and instead caught a taxi home. She undressed quickly and grabbed her night things from the bedroom before moving into the smallish guest room that had been her youngest child's bedroom before he moved away to university. She slipped into the bed and drifted straight off to sleep feeling better than she had the previous nights.

She woke to the distant sound of her alarm, it took her a moment to get her bearings before she realised and rushed from the bedroom. She had just made it to the door of the master bedroom when the sound stopped. She caught her breath as she saw Greg with his hand on top of her alarm glaring angrily through tired eyes.

'What have I warned you about waking me in the morning' He growled as he threw the covers from him and began towards her

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' she cried as he grabbed her and pushed her hard against the door frame

'Why the hell were you in the guest room?!' He screamed at her, dragging her further into the bedroom

'I… I didn't want to interrupt…' She whimpered as he shoved her down so she was trapped between the bed, the wall and his body.

'LIAR!'

he shouted, shoving her shoulder back down as she tried to stand, he sat on the bed and kicked off his sleeping pants

'You're wearing your pajamas! You must have come in to collect them… I'm not a fool, you pathetic idiot!'

He grabbed her hair and pulled her in between his legs, when she struggled he grabbed her right arm and twisted it behind her back, she whimpered and went limp, following his commands as tears rolled down her face.

She was late into work that morning, she wore an unreadable mask as Moneypenny questioned her on it, answering with vague answers that would put the younger women at ease. Her day passed in a flurry of meetings, schedules and signatures. She avoided using her right arm, her shoulder sore from the rough treatment that morning. She saw little of Bond and refused to tell him, she avoided eye-contact as he would see immediately that something had happened. As the day wore on she found herself hoping that he would guess, she wanted him to question her on it, but he didn't, he seemed to continue her level of professionalism and she be damned if she crawl to him for comfort. She finished promptly at 1800, as Greg had instructed her that morning, and headed down to her car, she entered the car park and noticed Bond's car was gone.

When she arrived home, Greg wasn't there, which meant he must be drinking. She hurried to the kitchen and sorted dinner, as she was taking it from the oven she heard the front door open and close. She kept plating up their food, even as she heard him enter the kitchen. She couldn't give him a moment of weakness or he would punish her for that morning. Once she had finished plating the food she turned to him, stepping back towards the sink so he could take his food without coming to close to her.

He moved into the room, staring down at the salmon and rice she had plated. He reached for his plate, but in a split moment swiped both from off the counter onto the floor at M's feet. She turned away from him clutched to the counter in front of her, her nails digging into the soft waterproof seal underneath. He reached around her and pulled her backwards against him, fingers around her throat. She didn't even attempt to fight against him, although lights began appearing in front of her eyes, she felt herself weakening and the blackness cloud her mind.

* * *

She woke later, on the kitchen floor, her clothes were disheveled and torn, and she felt a throbbing in her body and stickiness on her side. She stood shakily and began to wretch into the sink. The house was quiet, no sound of the television. Her head ached and her movements were sluggish. She moved up to the bathroom and stripped off her clothes, the stickiness was a mixture of blood and dill sauce, she had cut herself on part of the plate. She showered quickly and got out of the bathroom, where the memories of Sunday were suddenly vivid and raw. She moved into the study but didn't make it to the desk chair, she collapsed down onto the floor and cried, reaching for her mobile she had brought up earlier she held down the 7

'Call... Bond' the screen read.

She stared down at it through her tears and threw her phone across to the other side of the room.

She had no idea how long she stayed on the floor for but at some point she remembers moving back downstairs at some point to tidy the mess. She remembered falling asleep and then she remembered feeling Greg pull her under him and his whispered,

'This is our bed, This is where you sleep... Or you will pay more than this'

She wished she couldn't remember the rest.

* * *

Friday cam with her travelling all over London for the meetings she had rescheduled, although her mind wasn't focused on them. The thing that concerned her most was now that someone knew what she suffered, it seemed to impact her more. Before she would have been perfectly fine for work, but now she found herself continually fighting to keep her emotions in check. She felt as if she had reverted back to when it had all begun. As her final meeting finished she dismissed her car, opting for a cab, she convinced the driver to drive her past all the famous spots, just to distract her. She found as they drove over the Vauxhall Bridge needed to see Bond. Paying the extortionate fee, she entered the building though a private entrance by the side. She expected she knew where he would be and headed to the gunnery.

She just felt she needed to see him, before he left. She stood watching him fire a perfect round, both impressed by his skill and amused by his obvious pride in it. He turned and looked at her, as if he had known she was there, he moved towards the door and so did she, pulling him to where the cameras weren't looking, she had been careful on her entrance to make sure she avoided as many as possibly, those which had caught her would only of caught a glimpse.

* * *

Luckily both Friday and the weekend passed without incident, Greg had left her be for most of it, rowing at her when things didn't happen like he had planned, but, for the most part, keeping his hands from her. M had received the call from Tanner when Bond had departed, and she felt a bitter kick in her gutt, Bond hadn't even tried to contact her.

She returned on Monday feeling apprehensive, she wasn't sure exactly what her feelings were towards bond but she was sure they weren't sensible. Moneypenny entered and handed over a load of paperwork with an apologetic smile. Half way through the pile of papers she found a manila envelope nested in the middle, immediately she was on high alert and reached for her phone to call Q and have him check it with one of his gadgets, she then saw the handwriting. Her hands shook as she turned the envelope, feeling the heaviness in the bottom, and opened the letter. She slid the paper out and unfolded it slowly.

_Leaving now I know what you are going through is the hardest things I have ever done. I want you to remember you are a strong and brilliant and he is nothing on you. I cannot tell you that enough, believe me when i tell you it is HIM who is wrong. I know I have reacted badly, but I want you to be safe, I don't want you to think your only option is to say with him. I don't want you to be scared of coming to me either. The only reason he is still alive is because of the promise I hold to you, I would kill him over and over again for what he does to you. I understand he is your husband but you deserve so much more. I want you to use my flat, you know where it is and there is a key is in the envelope, the codes for the alarm are on the back of this. Do Not Hesitate. If you just want to talk, you have the secure lines to contact me. Please be safe, if he hurts you, tell __someone__, or __**get out**__. I will be thinking of you constantly._

_Yours, always. J.E.B_

M wiped her face, and read the letter through again. He had calmed all her concerns in one letter, he had cared about leaving, and he had even pre-arranged protection for her if she needed it. She felt a slight lightness in her chest, see was finally convinced that the concern he had shown was genuine.

* * *

**Not the best chapter i agree, rather intense i'm afraid... I hope you liked it dispite that :)**


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry if any of you find the next couple of chapters dull, this part is all about the changes in the characters relationships, I struggled to write this one but the next few are coming to me quickly so i might get a couple of uploads up by the end of this week

* * *

James mission took a little over 3 weeks, for the first of which M was resolutely determined not to impose on James house, but as the week grew on just getting into bed with Greg made her long for somewhere she could feel safe. After a particularly brutal incident she found herself packing a few things quietly into her handbag before stealing away to Bonds flat. On entering she went straight to the drinks cabinet, limping slightly at the pain sitting in her upper thigh, she decided to have a quick drink by return before Greg would wake. She opened the small doors and found a note below the first crystal tumbler,

'You are safe now… I wish I could be there for you… Check your bedside table'

She pulled it out from under the tumbler and moved to the bedroom, forgetting the drink entirely. She flicked the light on and looked around, surprised by the simplicity of it, although, most people who went in there probably weren't interested in the décor. She stood in the doorway, enjoying the quiet and the calmness, but also debating the repercussions if she took that step into another man's bedroom. Then her body reminded her again of what she had to go back to and she made her way slowly to the left side of the bed. She sat on the bed and pulled the first draw open, inside was a toothbrush and various toiletries, tea; her particular favourite, a small selection of painkillers and soothing creams, and finally another note.

'This is your space, keep what you need here, you will always be welcome'

She clutched the notes to her chest, she was sure he had written them as spur-of-the-moment things but their effect on her were extraordinary, all sense of discomfort at being there was lost as she opened the draw below. Finding his blue shirt she had worn on that Saturday less than two weeks before. She made up her mind and stayed for the night. She visited more frequently over the next 2 weeks, sometimes for the night and sometimes merely an escape for a few hours.

* * *

Bond pushed his way through the door just before 3am on a miserable, wet Tuesday. He walked straight to the bedroom and peered in carefully, his heart sank slightly to not find M there. She hadn't made any contact with him that wasn't directly related to the mission and even then Tanner was on the line. Although he hadn't known what to expect from her when he had left, he convinced himself she would have taken up his offer, and he found it easier to sleep with that idea in his mind. But on the flight back, and particularly on the ride back over he began to realise just how unfounded his assumption was.

With a level of disappointment he moved back into the living room and over to the drinks cabinet, in the centre there was a brand new bottle of Jura, M's favourites, and a note.

'A small token of gratitude... OGM'

He grinned proudly and felt like punching the air. He breathed in deeply feeling some of the tension leave him. He poured some of the already open whiskey into a glass and wandered around the apartment, noticing now the small differences like the books were neater than before. He moved into the bedroom and found the blue shirt he had left in the draw for her to sleep in was hanging up on the door of his wardrobe. Moving to the bed he collapsed down onto it and began to half-heartedly undress, the fatigue from the mission permeating his muscles and mind. He kicked all his clothes into the corner close to the basket but couldn't find the energy to go and collect them. He slipped into under the covers and fell into an instantly deep sleep.

He woke abruptly sometime around midday, heart pounding and screams ringing in his ears. The mission hadn't been pleasant and with the added concern of M, his subconscious found it different to rest. He sat up in bed and rubbed the ache in his left shoulder. When the tension eased enough he lay back down, both his body and mind still tired from the last months activities. He found it impossible to get comfortable, somehow ending up on his stomach with his face in the pillow on the opposite side of the bed. As soon as his face hit the pillow he could smell her, the oriental scent of her perfume, the mysterious yet delicate spices and sweetness that were so unbelievably her, they soothed his mind and he drifted slowly off into a calmer, refreshing sleep.

He woke again just after four, this time feeling relaxed and re-energised. He got out of bed and realised how cold his flat was compared to the temperatures in Mali. He moved quickly to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Waiting while it headed up he inspected himself, he desperately needed a shave and he knew he had lost weight. He had a number of bruises and cuts but looked better than he had coming back from some missions.

He showered, removing the arm of the shower and holding it directly onto his shoulder and turned the water up so it was only just bearable. Letting the hot water work into the muscle, he began to think back to M, and the smell of her on his pillow, the feel of her against him when he woke those weeks before. He slammed off the water and stepped out into the cold of his bathroom, determined to ignore the sensations beginning to emerge in his newly relaxed body. He shaved quickly and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, a certain step-down from how he usually dressed for mission.

He walked into his kitchen and stared at the empty shelves in the fridge, he never really had food in, as he never knew when he would be gone at a moment's notice. He called for take-out instead, as he hung up he looked down at his phone, circling over the contacts with his thumb, he pressed the call button and listened to it ring.

M was busy with paperwork when she heard her mobile phone ringing, she breathed deeply as it must have meant Greg needed her for something, and that was never good. She pulled it from her handbag and realised it wasn't Greg.

'Bond'

'Good afternoon'

'How are you?' She asked, trying to remain professional

'I am well,' he answered politely, 'How are you?'

It was a simple question, but the change in his tone and the way he asked her made her chest tighten,

'Ohh, fine… Busy, you caused quite a lot of trouble Bond, it takes a lot of paperwork to explain why none of the equipment you were given made it back in one piece'

'It was necessary' the slight whine in his voice made her laugh.

'You came round' He said, his tone quiet and almost awed

'Yes' she whispered, wondering how deep this conversation would go on the phone

'How many times?'

'I stayed 4 times, but sometimes I just… visited' she sounded nervous to admit it.

'You are always welcome' he said warmly, before turning serious 'Do you want to talk about?'

She breathed in a deep, slightly shaky breath. 'Check the bedside table?'

'Mine or yours?'

'Mine' she sounded almost surprised at herself for calling it that

Do you want me to do it while you are on the phone, or wait until after?' he was concerned by her tone, she sounded on edge, anxious.

'After, I… It made it easier to get what had happened off my chest but I didn't want to call you while you were busy' He tried to interrupt but she spoke over him 'I wrote out what happened, left them there, I knew you would want to know and doing it that way, it just made me feel less, vulnerable, less weak…'

'You are never weak' He said with conviction, he hated her seeing herself in that light, all because of a man who was supposed to love her more than anyone.

'Well… They are there and you can read them if you want' They sat in silence for a minute 'It meant a lot to be able to go somewhere… away from G-Greg' She stumbled over his name

'I wish I had been here'

'You did a good job with the mission' she began to shift back into more comfortable territory 'Apart from the lost equipment the mission was a success, well done' Her voice fell back to normal

'Would you be willing to meet me this evening?' Bond asked, ignoring the topic change

'I… I don't think that's wise' she said insecurely, as if Greg could hear the call from his own office the other side of London

Bond wondered how to react, he wanted desperately to see her, but he certainly didn't want to push her.

'The offer is always there' He said diplomatically

'Yes, I appreciate it… I wan…' Bond heard a knock at the door and Eve's voice in the distance, M reply was muffled and Bond realised the phone must be hidden under the desk or in the drawer, after a moment he heard the door close and M's breath again down the phone.

'Q's on his way up, I need to go' she sounded as disappointed to end the call as he felt

'Of course, you know where I am'

'Thank you James'

As soon as the call was disconnected he dashed back into the bedroom and over to her side of the bed, he wrenched open the drawer and pulled out the pages in there, he fell back against the bed to read them. She had dated them, so he could read them through in order, some were blotched by tears and some more descriptive than other, he found it hard to read through them, the bubbly, prickly anger he always felt when thinking about this topic making it impossible for him to sit still. He knew even being here wouldn't have made a difference as M wouldn't let him be involved but it still couldn't fight the nauseating sense of guilt in his stomach.

He slept badly that night, he wanted to call her but they had an unspoken rule of not contacting her at home, the next morning he decided he needed to find some way to be distracted. He dressed and went to the gym, then went for a new suit fitting and had his hair cut, just to keep him out of the flat. He was just ordering a coffee when his phone began to ring. He smiled apologetically at the cashier and moved back out of the queue, looking down at his phone he saw M was calling him.

'M' his voice was alert and concerned

There was a short silence where M struggled to think of what to say

'Where are you? Do you need me to come?' he offered already moving towards the door

'No James, I'm fine, I'm at the office'

'Did something happen last night?' he asked

'Nothing really, I, I just wondered if you would... Do you still want to do something, maybe this evening?' the last bit came out rushed and quiet.

'Of course, do you want me to pick you up?' he asked looking down at his watch, it was 1645.

'Umm no, I need to get some of this work done, there's a late night exhibition at the Tate Britain tonight... I don't know if that's your thing or not' she trailed off, playing with a drawing pin that was on her desk.

It wasn't really his thing, but it was for M so he relented, 'I shall meet you there at 1830... Would you like to go for dinner or something after?'

'I'm not sure what I want' she near whispered,

'We can see how we feel later' Bond offered, taking the pressure off the conversation

'Are you sure you don't mind?' she asked

'Not at all, I'm looking forward to it' he said as the both smiled faintly.

'Thank you James' she said softly

'It's my pleasure' he confessed, listening to her hang up before moving over to the counter to collect his coffee.

M sat back in her chair and ran her hand through her hair, she felt nervous but also excited.

It had been a long time since she was looking forward to the end of the work day, it was strange because she would have gone to the art exhibition anyway but knowing Bond was going with her made it feel more significant, rather than just an escape from home and Greg. She was convinced he was only going because of her but once he got there she was sure he would enjoy it.

As six o'clock approached Bond dressed in his signature suit and chose a pale blue shirt, he couldn't decide whether or not to wear a tie, after putting it on, doing it up and then removing it 4 times he just left it on the bed and walked out. He decided to hail a cab down to the gallery, arriving early. The sun was just setting and in the evening light made it harder to distinguish who was walking past. He spotted M on the other side of the road and crossed over, she looked nervous and worried but when she saw him standing directly in front of her, she broke out into a relieved smile. He hugged her fiercely, he couldn't help it, he swept her up into his arms and they held each other close. When the finally broke apart Bond looked down at her face, seeing for himself the fire was still there behind her eyes and not extinguished while he was away.

'I missed you' she said quietly as a tear ran down her cheek. He hugged her again, wanting to discuss what he had read the night before but not knowing exactly how to bring it up. M moved slowly out of his grip, her face dry and a small smile there, he put his hand on her back as they crossed the road and walked up the steps to the gallery, Bond noticed the sign by the door 'Nudity Over The Centuries' he cast an amused look to M,

'You weren't sure if this was my thing' he said quietly and she smirked up at him.

They joined the small queue to enter and Bond paid the admission fee before M had even reached for her purse. They walked around quietly, looking at the paintings hanging in each room, as Bond walked around one of the rooms, glancing at the paintings in a half-hearted way, he noticed M was no longer with him.

He scanned the room quickly noticing she wasn't there either he moved back into the last room they had been in. She was there, sat on one of the small benches looking at a large painting of a woman looking over her shoulder. Bond had glanced at it before moving to the next room but now he looked more closely, her hands were resting over her left breast and half of her face was turned away, her blonde hair was curled into a bun and her figure was subtly feminine, she wasn't very skinny or curvy but her silhouette was incredibly fascinating. Bond sat down beside M and looked down at the booklet she had picked up; the painting was by Albert Moore. He sat quietly with M as she stared intently at the painting, he looked back up and noticed her facial expression, it was difficult to read, there was a longing there but also some sense of uncertainty, the whole painting seemed to express both love and fear.

When M finally spoke, it was with the hushed tones one always adopts in a place like this

'Who do you think she's looking at?'

He frowned and tilted his head, completely thrown by the question. After a few minutes he answered,

'No-one'

They looked at each other; M crooked an eyebrow at his answer and silently invited him to continue,

'I think she is looking to see who is coming, that's why you can't read her face' M blinked and looked back up, surprised and impressed by his answer

'You were trying to read her face?' M joked a moment later and they began to laugh.

They continued looking around, Bond taking more interest in the paintings. He and M discussed several of them and M told him about the arts section at Oxford and how she used to spend most of her time there in the local art galleries or with the artists.

'Were you into it as well or did you just like looking at it?' he asked as they left a couple of hours later

'Art, ohh yes, I just didn't quite have that flare you need, they said it was because my mind worked to analytically to really be able to express myself like you needed to as an artist. I said it was because I wouldn't smoke what they were smoking' they both laughed as they crossed the road and walked north, away from M16, the atmosphere casual and more pleasant than they were used to.

'I was always more into music' he said, noticing she was watching him keenly. he smirked ' girls always like the music'

They reached Victoria Tower Gardens and Bond directed them to one of the benches overlooking the river and the lights on the other side. M looked warily at him before down to her lap,

'Did you read the letters?' she asked, changing the atmosphere almost immediately he nodded and moved his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side protectively.

'I felt sick M… I' He stopped himself as the anger grew in him, they sat in silence before he changed the topic

'You signed them OGM' he stated quietly, looking down at her, 'Is that permission?'

'Permission for what?'

'Permission to call you O...' she jabbed his ribs good-naturedly and laughed at his pout

'So that's a no'

'not yet' she said quietly, moving his other hand she held it in her hands and looked down at it.

'Bond what is this to you?'

He frowned at her and coughed uncomfortably,

'You were in danger and I did what I needed to to keep you safe, I still am to the best ability you'll let me' he stopped and looked at her 'I don't want you to have to go through it alone'

'So this is just keeping me safe, it's ok if it is, and I imagine you feel like you should but' he cut her off

'It is definitely more than feeling obliged. You... Are... Important to me. You have been for a long time, I wanted to tell you so many times, then when I came up to your room but when I saw him and I found out what you have to deal with... It is more important you are comfortable with me so I can protect you than us being... Anything more than... Whatever this is'

'What would you want us to be?'

He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes for a second, his dreams of her flashing in his mind.

'I want you to be with me, I don't want to ever have to send to back to Him and I don't want to have to worry for you, I know my reasons are selfish but there they are... And I would want to be allowed to love you, both mentally and... Physically'

He expected her to push him away or leave at his suggestion but she only tensed slightly, still remaining close to him and waited for him to continue.

'I would never, ever force you, and I don't expect you to feel the same way, but you asked so there you are… You are a very attractive woman' he finished shyly

'I don't believe you' she said quietly

'Why?'

'I'm not attractive, I am old and I have nothing to offer you' she had walked over to the low wall in front of the river and looked down at the boats below.

Bond placed his hand to her back and stood very close as he whispered to her 'That is not true, you are a fighter, look at what you do for Britain, all of the responsibility is on your shoulders and you carry it without a care in the world. And M you are beautiful, god you are so beautiful and He doesn't even notice. The way he treats you makes me sick, and the fact that you can't even see yourself as a woman is appalling, you deserve so much more.'

'I'm his wife' she stated it with resolute acceptance

'But you are so much more than that' He moved her chin so she could look at him, both feeling the urge to kiss the other, but she ducked her head

'I'm sorry' she said softly

'why could you be sorry?' he asked as she pulled away from him

'I shouldn't rely on you like this; it isn't fair, to you or to Greg'

'I don't give a shit about him, M you need to start doing things for you, he makes out that you are nothing and I think in some ways you believe that'

She looked up at him and he wondered if he had overstepped the mark. But then she kissed him, a sweet, slow thank you to everything he had done. When they broke apart he wrapped his arm around her again as she rested her head on his chest.

'You make me feel so different to how I feel with him' she said quietly, he kissed the top of her head, letting the moment last a little longer

'Are you going to go back tonight?'

She pulled from him so he could see her nod.

'M...' he was going to protest, to argue that she should stay with him but he knew from the look on the face she was decided.

'Will you still come, if it gets too much?' he asked as they began to walk back towards the taxi rank.

'I don't know... I want to say I will but when I'm with you it's very hard not to feel guilty'

'you feel guilty with me?' bond asked incredulously,

'When I'm with you' she started tentatively 'or when I am at your place, I always wish... It was you I came home too... That I didn't have to be scared and worried because it would be you I get to see'

He looked at her for a moment, she blushed and fidgeted waiting for his response.

'you can.' he said simply 'I know this is hard for you, I know he's got you brainwashed to think you deserve this and I know whatever I say won't change things for you, but when you find that strength to leave him, I will be here to help you and keep you safe.'

'You think I have the strength?' she breathed

'I know you do' he said with certainty

* * *

Reviews always welcome :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! This chapter I wrote quickly but then pulled and swapped and changed so many times it took much longer than expected, I hope you like it. Thank you Dr. for your inspiration and assistance! Enjoy! **

* * *

They made plans each Wednesday for the next few weeks however they had to be cancelled because M was required in the office so much, Bond decided this was good as it meant she wasn't going home and Greg would have to find other ways of entertaining himself. Bond suggested meeting on a weekend but M refused, scared that Greg would guess she was with someone else. He'd heard nothing from her and if she was being hurt, she was no longer coming to his to escape it.

Bond stayed away; he had completed all of his paperwork over the mission and could only find so many reasons for being in the building. Double-0's weren't expected in unless there was a mission to prep for and the paperwork that followed, and Bond had a reputation for barely being in for those.

Bond was concerned that the conversation they had, had that night had put her off seeing him. He resigned himself to that fact until on the following Friday, 10 days after them going to the gallery together, he found her at his door.

She looked distraught, her coat buttons were all mismatched and she was clutching her bag to her chest, her eyes were red and wide and her face stricken with pain.

He stepped aside without a second thought and she rushed in, he moved too her side to take her coat but she cowered away from him

'Please James... just… don't touch me'

He dropped his hands as if she had burnt him and moved swiftly from her side, he headed down the small hallway, through the bedroom and into the bathroom. He began to run the shower so it would heat up for her, then he moved back to the bed pulling her shirt out of the drawer, he walked back in the bathroom and hung it up with the spare dressing gown.

Moving back out of the bedroom he found her sitting on the sofa, she had left her bag by the door but still looked jumpy and frightened.

He sat on the other side of the room and leant forward, resting his forearms on his knees,

'Showers on... Do you want to talk about it?'

She shook her head and stood gingerly turning to the bedroom

'Do you want a drink or something?' he asked, desperately wanting to help her but not knowing how,

'Tea' she said quietly and shut the door

He quickly made her a pot and carried it through the bedroom, leaving it on her bedside he moved to the wardrobe and pulled out the extra blanket, he could hear her muffled sobs from the bathroom and approached the door. He stood on the other side of it battling with himself whether to enter or not, he decided that when she wanted comfort she would ask, he didn't want to impose, grabbing his pillows he moved back to the sofa, closing the door bedroom door.

He lay there for 40minutes, listening to the shower switch off, and the sounds of her beginning to move around next door. He heard it all go quiet and knew she must be in bed, but then 15minutes later he heard her walk over to the door,

'James' she calls gently from down the hallway,

He didn't wait for the invitation, he grabbed the pillows and moves back into the bedroom.

She looks less in pain than before but still scared, she got back in bed, lying on her side so she would be looking at him, he slowly placed his pillows down and climbed into bed, facing her. He wanted to speak but had no idea how to comfort her, after a few minutes he moved his hand into the centre of the bed, breaching the no man's land between them.

'He was so angry' she whispered, her throat dry, 'He lost some money on the horses and' she shifted her position slightly, 'he just wouldn't let me go... and it hurt so badly, I couldn't get him off me, and because I tried, h-he did it again'

Bond moved the tiniest bit closer to her and spoke in the kindest tone he could

'You are here now' 'you're safe' he repeated them over and over, wanting to hold her to him to prove his point but also not wanting to make her regret her decision.

Her breathing calmed and her body began to relax, she took his hand and squeezed it gently in a silent thank you, he lifted it reverently and placed it to his lips. He remembered falling asleep with her hand in his but when he woke around 0600 he found his bed empty, he had no idea what time she left or whether she had gone to work or back home, either way he felt disappointed she hadn't woke him to let him know.

That day in work she seemed perfectly fine, continuing on in the professional manner they always used with each other. He heard nothing from her over the weekend and the week that followed had everyone hectic, something was seriously wrong in MI6 and Bond couldn't figure it out, he was sent to the Brecon Beacons for three days as a consult for new recruits. When he returned home he found the place empty but a note by the bed, this one explained she had needed to stay again and she why had left him the time before. As MI6 was in such a state, it wasn't until the following Tuesday afternoon he managed to find her alone.

'You got a minute M?' he said tentatively as he entered her office, she smiled gently at him and put her pen down.

'I'm sorry I didn't speak to you about... That time, I assume you read the letter?'

'I did M... You are always welcome, I assure you, you are not imposing'

She nodded curtly, looking down at the piles of paper,

'How much of what has happened here over the two weeks am I allowed to know?' He asked carefully, watching as she ran a hand through her hair and picked up a file, handing it to him as he skimmed through it.

'We lost two double-O's, both on seperate missions, both within 4 days of each other, that's three gone in just over a month which means I need to promote some, however they need training, which costs money which means everyone's in uproar and it's one big bloody mess'

'Are you still very busy?'

'I have paperwork and that's it, I've done all I can for the time being, was there something you needed?'

'Would you like to do something tomorrow night?' he asked quickly

'Umm, yes, if you would like, was there something you wanted to do?' she said nervously

'I have a place in mind' He said with a smile, 'I'll send you the address'

He stood from his seat and smiled at her, glad to see a genuine small smile on her lips, seeing it there made him want to kiss them, but she would never allow that in the office. So instead he made his way to the door,

'See you tomorrow' he said with a wink and left her to it.

The next 24 hours went quickly for both, M stayed to complete her paperwork, arriving back at around 0130 to a quiet house, she crept into the kitchen and found something to eat before heading upstairs, setting her alarm she changed and slid into bed beside Greg's thick body, he rolled over when she got in and pulled her against him,

'You need to start coming home before midnight' He said, moving his hand up over her breast to the base of her neck, 'Do I make myself clear?'

She nodded adamantly into the dark, he kissed her cheek, his unshaven chin grazing painful across her skin 'Good girl' he said pulling her over him and grinding into her, he pushed her down under the covers and between his legs, gripping at her hair painfully, it didn't take long and he came with a shout, he pulled her tear-stained head up and pushed her from him as he rolled over to sleep, as if nothing had happened.

* * *

The next day she sat in her office, debating how to handle her evening, finally she sent a text to Bond, she simply put

'I can't'

He called her a several of times, but she didn't pick up, listening to it vibrate across the surface of her wooden desk as she cradled her head in her hands. When her phone went quiet for a few minutes and she assumed he had given up, only for him to burst into her office seconds later,

'Out!'

'No'

'Bond'

'Please?!'

'Ma'am?' Moneypenny appeared at the door, looking concerned and intrigued. Bond just stared at M, breathing heavily.

'Everything is fine Eve, 007 and I had a disagreement over recruitment of the new 00's and Bond won't let it go'

'Five minutes to prove my point, if you still disagree then I will leave the matter to however you want to handle it'

Moneypenny looked on and M knew if she still refused the young woman would begin to ask questions.

'Fine, three minutes, thank you Moneypenny'

The young woman looked disappointed at not getting to witness the argument but shut the door behind her. Bond moved swiftly to her as she held up a hand to stop him, he knelt down beside her so he wasn't towering over her

'M, please'

'I can't James'

'Why?'

'Because He says I have to be home by midnight'

'He's given you a curfew?' he asked disgusted,

'Bond, I don't want to argue this'

'Come meet me, we will just go for a walk, something calm, I just want to see you? Please! I'll get you home on time'

'He will get suspicious'

'He's distracted tonight' she shot him a look that made him wish he hadn't made that point

'I won't finish here until 8' She said coolly, returning her attention to the papers

'Please?'

She stared hard at him before agreeing

'I can't stay any longer than 10' she said and he nodded insistently, he stood up and leant in to her at the same moment she turned her head to him, he watched the emotion swim past her eyes: fear, excitement and then finally a daring look that made him bend further down and kiss her cheek.

It was the closest anyone had ever gotten to her at work, and she had to admit she liked it when he kissed her cheek. She tried to act unbothered by it, but knew there was a smile on her lips. He lingered close to her for a fraction longer before remembering his place and backing away.

'Meet me by the London Eye around, 2030?' he asked as he backed towards the door,

'Okay' she nodded and felt a rush of relief that she wasn't going straight home,

When the time came Bond found himself standing by the one of London's biggest attractions without a clue if she would really turn up, he had arrived early again and stood leant against the tree. He hadn't spotted her yet and it was now quarter to nine, he felt disappointment deep in his stomach at her not coming and was just giving up when he felt a small hand on his arm.

He didn't speak; he turned to look at her, relief coursed through him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they walked over to the queue, there was a party of French tourists in front of them who kept talking in loud whispers about Bond, to both M and Bond's amusement, as they were both fluent in the language. It was only when one of them made a comment about M and the smile disappeared from her face did Bond turn to M and said loudly and in perfect French,

_'Do you know what I like most about you?'_

_ 'No, what?'_

_ 'That even though you're older, you are still the best shag I have ever had' _

M burst out into self-conscious laugher and buried her face into Bond's chest while he just grinned over at the tourists who were all staring at him; some with bemused smiles, others affronted at his public announcement and the whispering women's smiles completely wiped from their faces.

As the tourists disappeared into their capsule M looked up at Bond

'That was highly unnecessarily'

'No it wasn't, they were rude about you and it bothered you, so I shut them up' he smiled proudly at her and she stayed closely to his side with her arms wrapped around him, he adored the feeling of her that close to him.

M refused to let Bond pay and bought the tickets for them, adding a sizeable tip to mean they got the entire capsule to themselves. They spent several moments looking over London and enjoying the views on the clear night. Bond came up gently behind M and took hold of the bar in front of her, like he had in the hotel room, he slowly lifted his other to the bar so she was in between his arms and the glass, he did it slowly and unthreateningly, just to make sure she was okay with the confinement but she relaxed back into his chest.

They stayed like that for a little while before Bond broke the mood

'Why don't you come around anymore?'

She shook her head, refusing to answer the question

'Has it gotten better, I know you have been late at work but I still worry' she pushed against his arm to get out of the box had her in and walked around to the other side

'Was it something I did? Do you not feel safe when I'm there?' He was finally voicing the things that had played at the back of his mind

'Of course it's not you... I just... When I'm like that, it makes me feel weak and pathetic... And I don't want you seeing me like that'

He moved over the bench in the centre and straight to her, standing a foot away

'I never see you like that' he promised 'ever' he said finding her eyes and making sure she could see the truth in them

'I'm sorry for how I handled the situation earlier, I was scared, I've been so stressed with work being so frantic and then he…'

'What did he do?' Bond asked taking her hand and leading her over to the bench and sat with her there. She explained what had happened the night before, once she had finished his anger was radiating from him like heat

'I'm just scared he will figure out that I'm with someone else'

'We need to get you out of there M, you need to be allowed some happiness' he said, drawing an intricate pattern across her hand as he held it in his lap.

'You make me happy Bond' she whispered, kissing him the moment he looked up at her, she cupped the back of his neck and held his cheek with the other, Bond was momentarily stunned but then reached his hand to the back of her head and her hip, the kiss broke as she flinched when his fingers touched her scalp.

'Sorry' they mumbled together, M clearly upset that her anxiety had ruined the moment and Bond just scared he had pushed her to far

'You never have to apologise to me' he kissed both her cheeks and stood up offering her his hands and took her back over to the window

They spent the rest of the journey staring out of London, Bond making a number of light-hearted comments but M seemed quiet and thoughtful, he wondered if she was thinking over the night before or the kiss.

When they disembarked Bond looked down at his watch, 2126 he had just over half an hour to make her feel better.

'Fancy a walk?' he asked her offering her his arm, she took it gently and walked beside him, still much quieter than before, he made the decision to address it

'The kiss was amazing M' He complimented

'No, I panicked' she said sadly 'I want to be able to be close to you but He keeps coming into my mind each time and then I get scared and ruin it' she looked around, both sad and angry

Bond moved over to the low wall by the river and sat down

'You know it will take time M, he's put you through a hell of a lot of shit, it's going to affect you'

'I just hate that I can't be that way for you' she mumbled, biting her lip and looking down

'Don't you for one minute think that is why I am doing this for you, You, are important to me, not that'

She nodded and moved closer to him when a group of loud and drunk people walked by them

'Take my hands' he persuaded gently, holding them out to the side, palms down, she grabbed the backs of them, looking at him expectantly

'Now, I'm going to kiss you, but I want you to have control of my hands, put my hands where you are comfortable, have I made sense?'

He was trying to give her the power to make the decisions, after a moment she moved right in between his legs so they were almost touching and kissed him. Bond was patient and attentive, waiting for M to make the moves. She grazed her tongue over his bottom lip and he opened up, caressing her tongue with his lips.

She moved his hands to her waist, resting them gently there as they continued to kiss, M left one of his there and worked her hand up to his bicep, as her fingers curled around it he involuntarily clenched, the kiss broke as she let out a small whimper, not pulling away but looking down, images of past experiences coursing through her mind. Bond didn't move his hands, he turned his face to her cheek a placed a small peck there.

'I would never hurt you'

He kissed just below her ear

'I would never force you'

He kissed down her neck

'You are the most'

Kiss

'Intelligent'

Kiss

'Resilient'

Kiss

'Loyal woman I've ever met'

He kissed between her collar bones,

'I have never felt this way about anyone before'

He rested his forehead in the crook of her neck and awaited instruction.

'Kiss me' she commanded quietly

He lifted his head and placed light kisses on both her lips before kissing her properly. As the kiss built, the hand still holding his to her hip moved to his wrist and began to slowly guide it up her body, he felt each of her ribs on the way up and when she lifted his hand and placed it on her breast they both inhaled sharply, Bond looked up into her face, there was undeniable fear there and he wanted to retract his hand but as if she read his mind her hand tightened on his wrist. Her breathing was shallow and she was tensed, but as she looked at him he saw the tiniest of frames in her eyes

'K-kiss me' she whimpered and he leant up planting the smallest of kisses against her neck and face, he began to move his hand, subtly at first, stroking the pads of his fingers against the think cotton blouse she wore. He kissed her lips again, distracting her from the fear she felt in reliving the memories. As she took more control of the kiss he gently cupped her in his palm so he could feel the weight of her, she tightened her hand around his bicep again but didn't break the kiss, he held her like that for a little longer, faintly massaging her but not doing anything to extreme, he wondered where he had found the patience. He drew his thumb across her nipple, which was beginning to harden under his gentle administrations. She broke the kiss again but this time to whisper his name, her voice had lost the fearful tone it had.

'You are perfect M' he said as he removed his hands so he could cup her face, kissing her again a few more times.

'What did I do you deserve you?' she asked, snuggling her face into his neck.

'In my book you deserve even more than I can give you' he said honestly

They heard big Ben chime 10 and both looked at each other,

'Are you calling the car or getting a taxi?' he asked

'Taxi' she said quietly as they walked back over to the road,

'You are too good James' M said as he flagged down a taxi for her,

'I'm not, you are just very special' kissing her forehead he opened the door for her, he watched as she gave the driver instructions and drove off, only turning away when the taxi was no longer on sight.

He moved back over to the wall and leant down on it, taking deep calming breathes. She had actually let him touch her like that, to be that way with her. He felt completely giddy and extremely turned on, he was glad of the winter coat he was wearing as it hid the evidence of his arousal.

* * *

She walked into her house quietly and saw a dark shadow on the stairs. She flinched and recoiled, thinking she must have woken Greg coming in. But as she looked more closely she noticed the shadow was smaller than Greg, it was also frozen to the spot.

'Good evening' M offered in a kind but professional voice,

'H-hello' said the mortified shadow walking down the stairs. When she came into the light of the hall M could see why her husband had liked this one, she was tall and skinny, mid 20's with smallish breasts but round hips, she had Brown hair which was mused and green hooded eyes, she was stunning in a black business dress.

'Is Greg asleep?' M asked, speaking in a tone she would use when being introduced to the PM's wife.

'Umm, yes he is' The younger women replied looking terrified and ashamed at being caught.

'Did he keep you?' M began to reach for her purse and the woman shook her head, moving forward to stop M from giving her more.

'It was all covered ma'am' her cheeks were burning, and she fidgeted where she stood, feeling a complete fool.

'Please don't feel uncomfortable' M said in a caring voice as the other woman snapped her head up

'It's a little hard not to when the wife of your cilent catches you leaving' her voice was nervous but she smiled when M chuckled good-naturedly.

'It's ok, I do know of his behaviour, I must say you are the first I've met, normally my job keeps me longer' the woman shifted uncomfortably again 'Does my… Does Greg see you often?'

'I've seen him a couple of times, he likes brunettes so we all sort of alternate.' She looked up at M before back to her hands,

'Would you like a cup of tea?' M offered nonchalantly

The woman looked like M had just hit her 'I, Umm, I, I don't want to impose' the red had left her face now and she was pale white

'If you would like to leave and forget this that is fine but it is cold out and you look like you might faint, it is no problem' She smiled at the young escort and began to make her way quietly to the kitchen, after a few minutes she heard footsteps behind her as the younger woman followed her.

'I'm sorry' she said from the doorway, looking as if she was about to cry 'I have never been so embarrassed, it's bad enough you know he hires us but… Ohh god, what you must think of me?' She was babbling and M cut her off.

'I think nothing of you… I'm sorry that sounds harsh, I think nothing bad of you, your job is a difficult area I'm sure, without meeting the cuckold at the front door but please do not feel uneasy. I hold no ill will against you' she smiled again but the other woman didn't look at all relaxed.

'What is your name? I mean I know you have a real name but you don't have to tell me, what do' She pointed upstairs 'they call you?'

'Aventurine' She said looking less uncomfortable but still embarrassed

'Is that because of your eyes?' M asked, watching as Aventurine nodded before turning to the kettle, 'It is a nice name'

'My real name is Ariana' She blurted out, not quite sure why she had told her but not wanting her to think of her by her 'Stage Name'

'That is pretty as well' M said with a smile

'Have I mentioned how horrified I am?' Ariana asked again looking apologetically around, M chuckled

'You really shouldn't, it is… unconventional but there is no reason for me to give you the cold shoulder' she passed over sugar and milk for her to add her own.

'You have a beautiful house' she commented and M smiled

'Thank you'

They sat in silence for a moment drinking their tea

'What's your name?' She asked, as if she was talking to her headmistress

'Most people call me M' she said with a smile

'Em?' she asked then smiled, 'It's nice to meet you Em, under the circumstances' she chuckled

'Whereabouts are you from? You're accent doesn't sound like you're from London' M commented, more to break the silence than anything else

'I'm from Cheltenham' she said with a shy smile as M smiled over

'So you're a Cheltenham lady' she said with a wide smile, she liked this girl, even if she had spent the night servicing her husband.

'Not really as you know my profession' she said looking away.

'A job is a job, sometimes they mean we do things we maybe are not proud of, it doesn't change who we are.' It had been her philosophy when she was killing her marks and when she sends others to do the same. Her job was her world, but it didn't define it.

Ariana looked up surprised,

'What do you do?'

'Ohh this and that, I run an agency over in Hackney but I've done a bit of everything' She said nonchalantly, lying easily with the cover she was used to.

'It's a nice area here… Greg works in a bank doesn't he?'

M couldn't help being shocked that this girl knew his job and she seemed to immediately regret mentioning it as she flushed red again and bit her lip, expecting to be screamed at.

'It's impressive he mentioned it, he isn't one to talk about work' she said, watching Ariana relax again

'Does he travel a lot?' Ariana asked

She sighed, 'He used to, stopped about 6 or 7 years ago, the company he works for promoted him so he is based here now, he does every once in a while for a conference'

'Did your job let you travel?'

'Ohh yes, a got my fair share of travelling, but when you're working, it is not as exciting' she left it at that and Ariana didn't push it.

M was being to get weary and slid off her blazer and continued to eat. Noticing a little while later Ariana was staring at her, she suddenly reached forward and touched a point around midway between M's shoulder and elbow. She jumped at the pressure and snatched her arm back. She had forgotten the bruise left there from the weekend.

'I'm sorry, it looks sore' Ariana apologised, M waited for a further statement she looked so chastised M felt she had to say something to reassure her.

'Old skin bruises easily' she said comfortingly, waiting for Ariana to respond.

'It looked like… A thumb print' she mumbled while looking into her cup

'Someone grabbed me at the tube station that's all, like I said, I bruise easily.' It was sad how easy it was to lie about the bruises.

Ariana disappeared from the room, as M went to follow she re-entered, carrying her bag, she pulled out a tube and handed it to M

'Arnica cream?' M read aloud, looking up at Ariana for an explanation.

'It helps with bruising… You can get tablets for it as well' she smiled at M as she read the information

'Thank you,' M said quietly turning back to the table

M leant against the side by the sink and watched as Ariana as shesipped more of her tea

'Ariana, may I ask… Why did you become a…?' She looked for the right word but Ariana cut in

'Hooker?'

'Well yes'

'I don't know… I just had real bad luck with guys, I went to uni here and while I was studying I dated a couple of guys and they were, horrible… Really horrid, made me feel so unworthy, I was upset one night, shortly after my graduation, I'd found out this guy I was dating had a girlfriend back home, anyway I was upset and drinking and this woman came up and got me out of a situation with some lads… I just broke down on her and she told me she was a Madame. I had never really even known about escorts or prostitution, she told me to think about it, as an escort not a hooker, just someone whose paid to go to parties with guys who didn't want to go alone… She told me that although I felt as worthless as those ex-boyfriends had made me feel, these clients were willing to pay for me, she told me to look past the figure and realise I was worthy to someone and I was more worthy than those men paying for me and the ex's that couldn't keep me when I was free. It gave me such a boost looking at it like that and I started, later I realised the money was in the sex and to be honest it isn't that bad… Does that make me sound like a bad person?' She asked, anxious by what M's reaction would be.

M broke out in a genuine smile and pulled her into a hug

'It sounds like you have a very good idea of your self-worth… You are worth much more than I'm sure any of them are paying you' She released her and stepped back

'You are a very impressive woman Ariana' She said and watched the younger woman smile properly for the first time

'So are you Em' She said as she picked up her bag, 'I think it is about time I head home' She said moving back to M and giving her another hug 'Thank you so much for this… It has been… Strange, but I am glad I met you' She smiled at her and they walked together to the door.

'How are you getting home?' M asked

'I'll walk down the road to the taxi depot'

'You can call one to here if you want?' M offered reaching for the phone

'No, I'm fine Em honest… Thank you for tonight' and with that she was out the door, M closed it behind her.

She turned quietly and made her way upstairs, carrying out her normal routine and slid into the sheets, as she lay there she thought over the evening with James and how it had felt to have his hands on her in such an intimate way. She drifted off comfortably into sleep thinking of all he had said to her, dwelling only momentarily on the mass of sheet and man beside her.

* * *

**So Review and i hope you still wanna read :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't really know what to say apart from enjoy!**

* * *

She got home just after 9 on Thursday, as soon as she walked in she heard the television on, she moved to the doorway to the living room and saw Greg lay out across the sofa, beer in hand.

'Have you eaten?' she asked quietly, staying in the doorway, he pointed over to the coffee table with a collection of takeaway dishes on. She moved forward and began to clean them up, sensing him sit up before feeling his hand slip around her hip and pulling her so she was sitting on his lap.

'Where have you been?' he growled in her ear, holding her close to him

'I had paperwork to finish' she said looking straight ahead, trying not to tense or shiver when he moved his hands over her body.

'I'm out of town next week, in Dubai, can I trust you on your own?' He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her flush against him so she was lying on the sofa with him.

'Of course' she winced when he bit up her neck, and whimpered slightly as he rolled her under him

'Good, but if I found out you're messing around' He gripped her chin and kissed her hard 'I'll kill you;' he got off her and left the room to get another beer.

She went back to tidying the dishes and moved into the kitchen, breathing deeply to keep calm, Greg was staring into the fridge, he pulled out a beer and opened it, standing watching her as she cleaned out the empty tubs and put the others in the fridge.

'Martin called, he arrived in Canada, should be back in Britain by January he said unless he finds some people to go to South America with.'

'Okay, that's good' she said turning to find him very close, reaching around her hip and kneading her buttock in a painful fist.

'I missed you' he said as he kissed her solidly, moving back out of the kitchen he called back to her, 'I leave Sunday, so maybe Saturday you could actually be here' He smirked at her 'I need to give you your goodbye present'

She felt cold dread run through her and felt her body begin to tremble, she headed straight upstairs and got into bed, crying quietly at what she knew to expect on Saturday, even thoughts of James didn't help the tight fear loosen from her chest. She avoided him on Friday knowing he would she the anxiety in her face.

* * *

She spent Sunday recovering, hardly moving from the armchair where she stayed curled under a blanket, she read the rest of her book and called both her children, she drank lots of tea and used the Arnica on her bruises, her back was very sore and her arms and legs ached. It was her idea of a pampering session to have the luxury of spending all day in her house without any threats she normally associated with it. She had a bath that night, taking her time and letting the water sooth her soul and penetrate into the aching muscles, she was in bed early and enjoyed a good sleep. Waking up refreshed and ready for a week where she didn't fear coming back to her home.

Monday morning started well, finding that the new recruits had finally been cleared for double-O training, taking a massive weight off her. All she had to do was respond to all the inquires made by other departments and finalise a document for the PM to explain the new state of MI6. By lunch she was thoroughly bored at talking to idiot politicians and listening to them tell her what was best for the country.

She stood and left the office for a minute, going to chat to Eve; she sat down in front of the younger woman's desk and tried not to smile as she looked up and did a double take.

'Are you alright?' she asked, looking over M to work out if she had suffered a stroke

'I'm fine, just fed up of talking to those bureaucratic morons' she said as the phone on Moneypenny's desk began to ring

Eve smiled and answered the phone

'Hello… No sorry Sir she isn't in her office at the moment' both women smiled at each other, 'Yes will do Sir, thank you' she hung up and grinned over at M.

'Are you being paid enough?' M asked seriously before breaking down into giggles along with Eve

They were sitting like that, chatting aimlessly when Bond stepped off the elevator and looked over the scene, a million comments ran through his mind at seeing the two of them like that but he bit his tongue.

'Ma'am, I would like a word if that's okay? Is now a good time?'

M pushed out of the chair and turned sighing, 'As good a time as any Bond, Eve, refuse any calls until I've got rid of some of this paperwork will you?'

'Yes Ma'am' she smiled at them both as they walked in before texting Tanner about what had just happened

Inside the office Bond looked over M's desk,

'So you're pretty relaxed then' bond asked cheekily as M shook her head

'How is this possible over one weekend? I had my desk clear on Friday, now look' she say down heavily behind her desk

'They said you weren't in Saturday'

'Whose they?' she asked

'Grapevine' he replied shrugging

'Well Greg was going to Dubai, so he wanted me there to say goodbye to'

She swallowed hard and hoped he wouldn't push further; he looked livid for a minute then softened, walking around for a bit before settling on the sofa.

'How long is he gone for?'

'He comes back on Friday'

'So you're free until then?' Bond asked hopefully

'I suppose so' she said nervously

'Well then, can I take you out for dinner tomorrow?'

'Dinner?' she asked, cocking her head looking at him 'like a date?'

'If you wanted it to be' he mumbled like a teenager asking out a prom date

She had two choices now, either to follow her husband's instruction or to break her promise to him, she looked up to Bond's crystal blue eyes and thought back over all he had done for her, then of her sore back and aching thighs.

'I would love dinner James' she smiled at him as he relaxed back into the sofa cushions

* * *

On Tuesday she woke and dressed leisurely, enjoying that she could make as much noise as she wanted. She had a few meetings throughout the day with enough paperwork to keep her busy but not enough to hold her up when the time came to leave. She changed in her en suite bathroom and stood looking in the mirror. She moved her hair out of her eyes and looked at her face intently, each line and crease seemed magnified in the light, she opened her bag and pulled out her eye-liner, circling her eyes like she used to when she was younger. She looked back up, sighing at the only minimal improvement it made.

She walked out of her office straight into Moneypenny who was about to enter

'Ohh sorry ma'am. Wow! Your eyes look amazing' she gasped making M smile shyly, Moneypenny schooled herself quickly and took a step back

'Thank you Moneypenny' M said looking back up as Eve inspected M's face and clothes,

'Have you got a date?' she asked half excited, half shy

'No, just dinner with a friend. Why?' M chuckled at the younger girl's reaction

'Well you look different, and incredible, your eyes are so blue... Anyway, have a good night' she said moving back to her desk,

'Did you need me for something?'

'Nothing that can't wait… Go have fun' She smiled at her boss, knowing what the last few weeks had been like for her work and glad she was enjoying herself

'Don't stay too long' M smiled as she stepped into the elevator. Nobody else seemed to notice the difference in M's appearance, she felt her driver give her a second look but he didn't say anything as he held the door for her

When they arrived at the location Bond had given her the driver offered to wait to take her home, she waved him off; explaining she would make her own way home and he should enjoy his night with his family. He smiled brightly at her and leant slightly further out of the car,

'If you don't mind me saying Ma'am, you look lovely'

With that he drove off, leaving M feeling flattered but bemused, how could a little bit of make-up and a change of clothes make such a difference.

She stood on the edge of the street, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth, she looked down the street but couldn't find Bond. Just as she pulled her phone out of her bag she heard his voice,

'Sorry M, I got held up with Q and...' she turned to look at him and he stopped in his tracks,

'God you are stunning' he said, stepping forward and raising her chin to examine her more closely, staring deeply into her eyes

'It's just make-up' she argued feebly,

'No it's not, there's something else' he said, placing his hand on her back lightly to direct her to where they were going while still looking at her

'You seem happier' he stated, looking at her intently

'I am, I've been looking forward to this' she said smiling at her admission, Bond seemed to grow slightly with pride and bent to kiss her cheek.

'I always look forward to seeing you' he said, holding open the door to the small restaurant he had found for them.

It was dimly lit and had warm inviting colours on the wall, the place had an unmistakable romantic air to it, a tall, well-built gentleman in a suit almost as expensive as Bond's approached them,

'Good Evening, do you have a reservation?' The man asked in a deep, intriguing voice

'Yes, for Bond, James Bond' whether he meant to or not as he said his name he drew a small circle with his index finger on her back, she felt it acutely, but it didn't frighten her.

The man looked down at his list for a second before smiling up at them, 'Of course Sir, right this way, your table is ready to your specifications'

M turned to give a smirking Bond a quizzical look, following the host to their table they walked past several other couples at tables along the way, each had an element of privacy but M noticed a couple who were feeding each other, she felt a forgotten sense of excitement at the intimacy a meal could produce.

As they approached the table she saw the bunch of beautiful red and white Osiria roses and Gypsophila sitting there in a champagne holder by the table.

'James' she gushed, turning into his arms

'I didn't know your favourite so I went for the traditional' He said, chuckling at the surprised look on her face

'You're menus are on the table, please take your time and one of the waiters will be over with your wine' The host nodded politely at them both before heading back around the corner to his station.

'How did you find this place?' She asked as he helped with her coat and held out her chair for her.

'I used to live near here, discovered it on a whim but always like it' He moved to his seat opposite her and watched as she began to look over the menu, leaning her chin on her hand, she looked up a few moments later and blushed.

'I'm sorry' He said, smiling down and began to read the menu,

'I have no idea what to choose?' M said quietly, completely stuck at the astonishing range of food on offer

'Do you trust me?' He asked,

She nodded as a petite, blonde waiter brought over their wine. When she asked if they would like to taste the wine Bond directed her to pour it into M's glass, she tasted it, noticing the soft fruity taste and the warm vanilla and instantly labelling it a Rioja. Nodding at the waiter to pour more for them M smiled over at Bond who was watching her with such a studious expression she should feel unnerved, only she began to find herself enjoying the look he gave her and the way he admired at her. The waiter asked if they were ready to order and Bond nodded, looking over at M as he began to list to off their order.

'We will start with the bread and oils, then we will have the Scallops and the Parma Ham and bruschetta, for mains can we get the Sea Bass and I'll have the point steak, rare please, anything else?' Bond asked M who gave a polite shake of the head and smiled, the girl collected the menus and Bond slyly passed over his card to her without M noticing. As the waiter excused herself M looked over at Bond incredulously,

'That's a lot of food'

He chuckled 'We'll manage' He leant forward and drank some of his wine

'Tell me something I don't know' he said, smirking at her as she rolled her eyes and gave a self-conscious laugh.

'Such as?' She probed, leaning forward

'Well an easy one, what actually are your favourites flowers?'

She turned and looked at the bouquet beside her, smelling one of the roses 'I normally like simple bouquets, tulips are nice, so bright and happy, they remind me of spring, but I adore these, thank you' She said smiling at him 'Do I get to ask you something?'

'Ohh I think so' he said as the bread arrived

They were momentarily distracted as the bread arrived

'Okay, what... do you think like about living in London?'

He gave her an exasperated look and she giggled again, picking up another piece of bread and dipped it into the oil, watching it drip to make sure she it spill it over the table or her outfit.

'I like London because… It's busy, it's distracting and you don't have to think about things when you're in the middle of it'

'Nice answer'

'My turn, where's your favourite place in the world to visit?'

'I love India, it's beautiful but I also love Paris, the little streets and the views and the art' she remembered her visits there when she was younger 'Umm, same to you, where do you like?'

'Well, I love Scotland, and anywhere snowy, where I can build up a fire and spend the days inside, going for walks if we want but not having to do anything, I like the relaxation of it'

'Sounds wonderful'

they finished the bread and their waiter quickly cleared it away, smiling discreetly and looking between the couple, M began to feel herself blush and reached for her wine, only when the waiter was walking from the table did Bond lean forward and whisper,

'Is this too much?'

'What do you mean?'

'Well… I just wanted to treat you well… Is it too much, too romantic?'

'No, James it is lovely' she said adamantly, 'I'm just not used to this, I don't know how to act'

'Be you' He said with a smile

'I think it was your question, or did that count?' she lightened the conversation again and returned to the game he had started.

'No it doesn't… What does the G stand for in your initials?'

'You don't know' She feigned surprise at him not knowing and he actually looked down bashfully, 'It stands for Grace, after Grace Kelly, My mother loved her films and I grew up to love them aswell'

He nodded slowly; he looked up to say something but then changed his mind

'Your turn' he prompted.

'Same question' she said leaning into the table as he did the same

'You're not supposed to ask the same as me' he whispered cheekily

'I can't think of any?' she whined

'Fine... it's Edward' He said, reaching for the wine and noticed the waiter coming back to them

They shared the starters, eating half before swapping plates, M had finished her wine by the time they finished the starters and Bond offered to pour her more

'I have a question' she muttered, smiling as he looked up at her

'Why are you making such an effort?' She was sure even in the dim light he blushed slightly

'Because… you're worth it' he said softly 'and I wanted to prove that to you'

She offered him her hand across the table

'Tonight's been lovely' she whispered, locking her fingers with his and squeezing to prove her point.

'Tell me about your children' he prompted, asking the question he had always wondered about

'Ohh god, they are hardly children, your closer to their age than to mine, what would you like to know?'

He shrugged 'anything, how old they are? What they do?'

She took a deep breath and began

'Lucy's 27 and lives in Leeds with her boyfriend and they are expecting their first child soon' she felt the smile creep into her cheeks

'Congratulations' Bond said happily, enjoying seeing M so willingly talking about her family

'Thank you… My son, Martin is 24; he just finished his doctorate and has been travelling in the States...'

She continued on for a while longer, she mainly avoided mentioning Greg but each time he came up or hinted at they managed to get past that part of the story to a lighter moment.

The conversation was interrupted when the main course arrived but either found any awkwardness in the silence that followed, they both pinched food of each other's plates and M drank out of his glass without realizing, which made him smile no end.

They were about two thirds into the meal when Bond placed his knife and fork down and leant back in his chair looking at her,

'I think you are unfair' he said simply

'Why?' she asked suddenly concerned she had somehow of stepped a boundary or done something wrong

'You call me James when we see each other like this, but I still have to call you M'

She breathed in a sigh of relief 'What do you want to call me?'

'I don't know' he turned serious for a second 'What does He call you?'

M lowered her cutlery as well, swallowing her mouthful 'He doesn't really, he either swears at me or doesn't acknowledge me at all'

'What did he call you before?'

'Most of the time Olivia, but sometimes he would call me Oli,' she squirmed uneasily, 'in the bedroom'

He nodded up at her and went back to his food, M watched him for a second

'Are you okay?' she asked

'Yes... just thinking... What would you like me to call you?' he asked

'I don't know... At work you have to call me M, no exceptions. At things like this you can call me Olivia if you want... And in the bedroom' she added coyly

He dropped his fork and she laughed out right

'Maybe we'll get to that when it comes' she continued to giggle

They finished their meals quickly and Bond looked around, 'I'm going to the bathroom if they ask about coffee and dessert I'd like an espresso and you can pick me a dessert.'

He stood up and kissed her on the cheek, drawing back slowly to look in her eyes

'I trust you' he said and wandered in the direction of the toilets, almost as soon as he was gone the waitress was back with dessert and coffee menus, she skimmed the menu quickly and found something she thought he would like, ordering that and their coffees she asked the waiter to bring the bill for her to settle immediately and before Bond came back, the young girl gave an half-amused, half-apologetic smile

'It's already been taken care of Miss, sorry' she moved away and M shook her head,

Bond returned a few minutes later and sat down taking her hand and smiling at her,

'What did I do?' he asked as soon as he saw her face, trying to keep a straight face

'How have you managed to pay the bill before I even put the dessert order in?'

'Well... I slipped the waiter my card when she took our orders and I went to see her and rounded the bill you to the next hundred and told her what we didn't spend on desert was her tip, so funnily enough she didn't argue'

He smirked at her as she slapped his hand gently before clinging hold of it again,

'You spoil me James'

He moved his other hand to her cheek and rubbed his thumb there

'You deserve it all' he said watching as she nuzzled into his palm.

He pulled his hand back and stroked his thumb over her hand instead, looking down at it.

'Have you ever been in love?' M asked watching him, for any reaction, he stilled his movements completely, freezing to the spot before shaking his head,

'This' he squeezed her hand 'is the closest I've ever been'

'You think you're in love with me?' she breathed incredulously

'I know I love you' he said 'I just don't know if we can be IN love when both our lives are so fucked'

'What does it mean to you to be in love then?'

He turned her hand and began tracing patterns on her palm 'Too come home to you, be able to see you at any point, to protect you all the time and actually do things for you and with you that I know will make you happy' he couldn't look at her and it was clear he had colour in his cheeks now.

'That sounds wonderful, but it's a lot on your part' she said quietly

'But you would be there, and you would be mine, not because I forced you to or it was your right, but because you wanted to be, and it made you happy'

She was about to speak when Bond leant back and smiled at the waiter with their coffees, she was followed by the host who carried their dessert tray and another bottle of the wine they had drank,

'A gift on the house, we hope to see you again soon' he said with a smile to both of them before leaving them be, Bond looked down at the tray and back up at M, surprised that she would order a sharing platter, let alone one like this

'Tuck in' she said, lifting a grape and popping it straight in her mouth

'You're supposed to dunk it' Bond said, leaning over to steal a grape and carefully dunking it in the chocolate fondue before placing it into his mouth

'I'll make a mess' she said, lifting a strawberry to dip in the chocolate and dropping it straight away

'Here' Bond said, lifting another strawberry, coating it carefully and then turning it, letting the chocolate collect on the end without dripping, he looked over to her, her eyes were focused on his hand and her lips slightly parted

'May I?' he asked as her eyes flickered to his, she stared at him a second before nodding minutely and opened her mouth more, leaning forward, her eyes never left his as he fed her the strawberry.

They sweetness of the strawberry with the richness of the chocolate made her moan softly as she chewed. Bond's palm was against her chin as he held the strawberry between his thumb and index finger, allowing the other three to brush against her jaw. She felt a rush of excitement at what they were doing, and loved the way Bond treated her.

'When was the last time you ate something someone else fed you like that?' Bond asked slowly moving his hand away; his voice was slightly deeper and huskier than before.

'Never'

He looked up at her with a mixture of awe and happiness, lifting an orange into the chocolate he silently offered it to her, this was not quite as neat as the strawberry and chocolate smudged across his finger and thumb, M looked at his hand for a second before licking the chocolate from his finger with one slow lave of her tongue along the side of it.

'Jesus' he murmured huskily, when she could the tip of his thumb into her mouth to clean it off, feeling his arousal grow each moment

When she released his hand she looked shyly down,

'What would you like?'

He looked across the platter, they still had a few grapes left and strawberries and orange slices but there were also marshmallows, small churros pieces and some nuts along the side.

'I'll try a strawberry' he said reaching across for one when M grabbed is hand and held it, using her other to pick up a strawberry.

'You don't have to' he said quietly

'No… but I want to' M said smiling at him as she copied his technique and reached it over to his lips, her hand trembling slightly. He took the strawberry with his teeth and bit into it, watching her reaction the whole time, she didn't look at all nervous or uncomfortable now.

He took another bite of the strawberry and they carefully fed eachother all that they had left, opting for small forks once it got to the point where the chocolate was just too messy.

They left the restaurant hand in hand, Bond holding the wine in his other hand. They walked down the street a little when M stopped Bond and tiptoed up to his cheek, kissing it gently the same way he did to her.

'Can I come home with you?' she asked him tentatively

'Of course' he said, flagging a taxi almost immediately,

He couldn't deny how turned on he was by the nights events, but he knew M wasn't ready, he saw her wince when she thought he wasn't looking and he was sure she had to be sore. Just as he was thinking his, she moved her hand to his knee, leaning into him more and placing a kiss on his neck.

He swallowed and turned his head to kiss her, they kissed leisurely all the way to his flat. But when her hand moved but his leg he stilled it by taking hold of it in his.

As the taxi stopped M pushed money through the gap to the driver and climbed out, Bond following her closely. As soon as they were in the flat Bond poured them both a drink, but M had disappeared into the bedroom, he followed determinedly

'M' He only managed her name before her lips were on his, it took his mind a few moments before he broke the kiss,

'We shouldn't, you're not ready' he said moving to the bed and sitting down on the edge trying to calm his breathing, she moved over and sat across his lap, touching his cheek with her hand and running his thumb over her lips. He kissed it gently and looked at her

'Kiss me James' she demanded and he couldn't refuse, kissing her tenderly before moving his hand to her back and lying down gently, they lay next to each other for a minute, M exploring the feel of Bond as Bond kept his hands still, one on her back and the other tucked up so her head was resting in the crook of his elbow.

She began to undo his buttons and he made another effort to stop

'M' he said warningly

'I thought you were going to stop calling me that' she said as she ran her hand over his chest

He kissed her again and she moved her hand to under his arm, he took this as a cue to move above her and as he kissed her he shifted above her

Although he put no weight on her she could feel how hard he was on her inner thigh and memories bombarded her mind

_Greg shoving her under him on the sofa as he pulled his belt from him, grinding into her through the fabric_

_The number of times he had taken her on the kitchen floor when he was so drunk he struggled, gripping her thighs forcefully as he missed and missed again _

_Pushing her against wall in the bedroom with his hand at her throat_

She made a wrecked whimper and stiffened like a board, Bond flew off her body and watched as she curled on her side

'James' she whimpered and held out her hand, he took it lay down beside her, but when she tried to kiss him he pushed her back

'M stop' He said, watching her as the tears in her eyes grew bigger

'I wanted' She began, before her voice cracked and she hid her face in her pillow, Bond rubbed her arm soothingly, feeling useless and guilty, when she stopped crying she raised her head from the pillow and spoke so softly he had to lean down to hear her

'I wanted to thank you, I wanted to let you have what you wanted, I didn't mean it to be like this'

She looked scared, like his reaction would be angry or aggressive

'M I never expected you to sleep with me tonight, Jesus what made you think that?'

'You were so happy when I said I wanted to come back, I assumed…'

'No I wanting to look after you, I was just happy you wanted me to as well'

'You're hard James' she said, reaching down between his legs to feel him

He swallowed and closed his eyes

'M, you do not have to' He said sitting up and pushing her hands away, she sat up beside him and looked at him

'You deserve it Bond' she said, getting off the bed and kneeling between his legs, wincing as her knees were sore from Saturday, Bond cupped her face and leant down so his eyes where almost level with hers

'If I can't get you off, you don't get me off, clear?' His voice was frustrated and his eyes left no room for argument, she nodded and he offered her a hand up before leaning with his arms on his knees again, holding his face, could she not understand how seeing her frightened and humiliated did nothing but make him feel like he was the reason

M watched him and considered what she could do, reading the situation completely wrong

'Do you want to call someone?' she asked as he turned to look at her hovering in the far corner, looking upset and frightened, this isn't how he planned tonight to end.

'Call who?' he asked

She shrugged 'I don't know an agency, do you have one you use' He stood and turned to look at her, hoping he had misheard her

'I'll pay' she added and he felt as if he'd been kicked in the gut

'Are you honestly offering me a prostitute?' He asked in a cold voice that scared her, he had never spoke to her like that, even during arguments at work, she nodded at him, avoiding his eyes

'Jesus M!'

The raise in his voice made her flinch

'You think I'm like him, you think that I'll take you without any consideration if you are willing or ready or if your hurt and when I turn you down you think it's because you're not good enough and offer me a replacement, I'm not Him!'

He was storming around the bedroom but M noticed he never took a step towards her or invaded her space, he seemed to actually do the opposite, putting as much space between them as he could

'I don't want a quick fuck' He stopped still and looked over at her 'I want to love you, properly. When you're ready… I'm not him.' He repeated quietly, looking as if all the fight had left him.

M ran to his arms and he caught her, 'I know' she repeated again and again as he held her close to him but avoided touching anywhere but her shoulder blades.

'I'm sorry I shouted' He mumbled when they had calmed,

'I'm sorry I treated you like him'

He kissed the top of her head 'Get yourself ready to sleep, I need a cold shower' He gently kissed her lips and moved off to the bathroom

She changed out of her suit and into the shirt he had given her; she tried to sit on the bed but couldn't relax enough to stay still.

As soon as he exited the bathroom she clung around his neck, burying her face into the side,

'I had just calmed down' he half-joked, half-groaned at the feel of her flush against him causing his pulse to speed up slightly

'Tonight was the best date I have ever been on, thank you… I'm sorry i ruined it' she said into his neck

'You didn't, I just… I wouldn't have been able to' He said, 'Are you ready for bed?'

'I just need to pop into the bathroom a second'

She headed in and Bond moved over to the bed sitting on the edge of it like he had previously, he waited for her to come out and offered her his hand,

'Can I look at you?' He asked and she looked confused at him

'You are, aren't you?'

'Under the shirt' he said, tugging gently on the bottom of the shirt

'Not tonight' she said, looking pleadingly at him, proving his theory that she was hiding the evidence of her husband's abuse, he felt another strong urge to break the man's every bone, but he turned his attention back to M

'Okay' he whispered, reaching up so he could kiss her, when he released her she moved around the bed and got in

'Can I hold you?' he asked very quietly, looking across at her as she settled in the pillows

'Yeah' She said moving herself again closer, he offered her his arm as a pillow and she curled up tightly against his side, draping her hand over his chest.

He reached up and switched out the light, he found himself thinking over the evening and absently drew over her hand and arm

'Olivia' he murmured quietly but feeling her head snap up to look at him, even in the dark he knew she was on edge and alert

'Yes' she answered a moment later

'I was just testing it; it doesn't work does it, me calling you it'

'It was a surprise, I'll get used to it' she tried to convince him, feeling bad for reacting in such a way

He didn't respond and they settled down to sleep, but his lulling caress had stopped and he seemed distant, the minutes stretched on as both lay wide awake.

'What if… I called you Grace?' he asked shyly, turning his head on the pillow to look down at her, she slowly lifted head again and kissed him gentle, but taking his bottom lip into her mouth

'I like it' she beamed, 'I really like it' Loving the way he pronounced it

'Sweet dreams Grace' He whispered wrapping his arm around her shoulders and returning to play with her hand on his chest, surrounding her in warmth and comfort that she fell asleep more quickly and easily than she could remember.

* * *

**Review please you lovely people :) x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well here we are... I've updated really early, to please the lovely DissectingPomegranates (Great name) but it's quite hot off the print so i'm sorry in advance for the more-than-normal shoddiness... Enjoy!**

* * *

When Bond woke the next morning it was early, as least an hour before his alarm was to go off.

He felt the soft, warm body of M against his side, curled in closely to him for both heat and protection.

He was also, painfully hard. They had let go of each other's hands during the night and her small hand was spread wide on his lower abdomen, only the realisation of how close her hand was made the problem even more immediate. He began to untangle himself from the bed quilt and M's embrace; she woke groggily and looked up at him

'Bathroom' he husked and moved a pillow in his place, as he entered the bathroom and pulled on the light, he turned and saw her curled up, smiling against the pillow as she drifted back to sleep, he shut the door and fell against it.

Jesus this was hard, fuck no, this was difficult. How was he to wake each morning with her by his side and not feel like this. He pushed down his boxers and pulled himself free. Moaning as he finally wrapped his fingers tightly around himself.

He fisted his cock quickly, as images of them together at the restaurant flooded his mind. Her musical laugh at his teasing and her the way she looked when she smiled shyly, he remembered how she licked the chocolate from his finger and took his thumb in her mouth. He came hard and bit down to stop from making a noise, his jaw clenched so tight it began to hurt.

After wiping up his mess he looked around, wondering whether to shower and start his day, but the idea of being pressed up beside M was much more inviting. He could deep, calming breathes and ran the cold tap over his hands, splashing his face. He made his way back out to the bedroom and slipped in, removing the pillow as he did.

She moved for him so he wasn't crowded and watched him settle, although he lay his arm out for her she seemed to need invitation.

'I'm cold, get over here' he said happily, watching her move back into him this time lying on her back at a slight angle to Bond.

He didn't quite know where to put his hand, her head was still resting on his shoulder and tilted in his direction, he searched for her hand and took hold of it. She moved it up around her so she was wrapped up in him, and pressed it flat just below her breast. The lay there in a lull, neither fully awake and both basking in the feeling of the other.

'I probably should leave?' she said about 15minutes later, beginning to move. Bond went to stop her, but quickly retracted his hands before actually touching her so she wouldn't worry, she noticed and it made her feel incredibly warm inside.

'Why?' he asked, the unhappiness clear in his voice,

'Because, I need to go home and shower and change my clothes and sort myself out before go to work' she voice was still laced with sleep

'Please stay, just a little longer, tell the car to pick you up from here or at least half an hour later than usual, please?' he soothed his fingers over her side, running them from her hips to the ribs and back down in the most unthreatening way. She had to admit she was tempted.

'I can't, but can I see you tonight?'

He pretended to huff over at her and then sat up so he could kiss her,

'Of course, anything special you wanna do?'

'Umm,' she was nervous again 'would you think it's weird if we just met back here and ordered takeout and watched a movie.'

'No that sounds great' He sounded honest and excited but M still had her doubts

'Is it too domestic for you?'

'No, well maybe usually, but I wanna with you... One change though, I'll cook instead of takeout'

There was a stunned silence

'You cook?!' the surprise in her voice was obvious

'Yeah I cook, I'm actually really good! And anyway you're at work and I'm at home so I Really should do something'

This time she kissed him, more profoundly than he had been.

By the time M got in Moneypenny was already there, and as soon as M got off the elevator she grinned and stood from her desk,

'So how was the date?'

'It wasn't a date, it was dinner, but it was lovely' she tried not to smile but it had spread before she had finished the sentence

'I think it was a date!' she goaded

'And why do you think that?'

'Your outfit last night, you being almost an hour later than usual AND these' she pushed M's office open and pointed to the table, where the boutique Bond got for her was placed.

M opened her mouth to defend herself and then sighed 'Keep this quiet' she pleaded

'Of course... But we should tell Tanner, he can handle all the logistical stuff'

'True, but be discrete' She said moving into the office and over to the flowers, pulling one of the larger roses she turned to her drinks cabinet and pulled out a tall glass, placing it in with some water she walked back out to Eve's desk

'Here' she said placing it the other side of the computer to her phone 'for your support and kindness' she smiled at the delighted expression as Eve looked at the rose.

'Thank you so much!' she said in awe

'You are a kind girl Eve, a brilliant assistant, you will go far, and I'll make sure of it'

'Thank you Ma'am, but I am very happy where I am, at least for the next 12 to 18 months'

'It's worth considering, if you want to discuss it or work out your options, you know when I'm free' she pointed down to the planner on her desk and smiled broadly before disappearing into the office.

Eve pulled out her private mobile and sent a quick message to Tanner

E: Are you free to text?

A few minutes past before her phone buzzed

B: Yeah, you alright?

E: M was late, and she's seeing someone, they sent her flowers!

B: Flowers to the office?

E: They came direct from a restaurant; she must have left directions

B: Do you know who?

E: No, and she says we need to be discrete, I only asked to tell you because of logistics with timetables, do you think we know them?

B: If we do we shouldn't say anything until they do

E: She gave me a flower, and started talking promotion

B: Bloody Hell! Is she ill?

E: No! I think she's happy. I've not seen her like this… Ever!

B: Well at least she's getting some…

E: Bill! That's our boss!

B: Yeah, and she's late ;)

E: Well, I think she's lucky! Nobody sends me flowers!

* * *

The day past quickly, Tanner burst into the office around midday

'M, we need to get OO7 back up in the Beacons, the instructor says he needs Bond'.'

'For how long?' M was disappointed but sod it if she was going to say that 'He can't stay up for there while the recruits train, we need him for missions'

'I understand Ma'am' for a dangerous second she genuinely thought he did 'I have explained this, they only need him to sign off the paperwork on the recruits as he was the deciding double-O and then I think he wants Bond to do demonstrations for the recruits.'

'Call him in' M stated calmly, 'we'll see what he says about it'

'Yes Ma'am' Tanner nodded and turned, noticing the flowers Eve had mentioned 'Very pretty Ma'am, he obviously knows how to impress' Tanner nodded again and left quickly.

As soon as Bond received the call he was needed in his heart dropped. He had been so excited to cook M dinner and relax with her on the sofa and hold her tightly again, knowing he wasn't having to send her back but if she sent him off, he would miss out on time he was sure wouldn't be an option for a while. He made his way in and up to her floor; Eve sat happily at her desk and called him over,

'Keep a secret?' she asked eyes glinting

'Of course' He smirked

'M's seeing someone' she whispered and Bond smile grew

'Really, how do you know?'

'He sent her a stunning bouquet of roses and she was late this morning and she is just generally happier… But don't tell anyone' She suddenly turned serious

'I won't, I promise' he laughed and they entered the office together

* * *

'Is it really necessary? I mean can't someone else just...?' Bond was whining

'You were the deciding double-O and anyway, OO2, OO3 and OO6 are all on mission and they need someone' Tanner was calmly arguing every point Bond made

'I had plans' He grumbled, feeling it was pointless to argue but putting up a fight anyway

'Don't worry Bond, 3 of the recruits are women, I'm sure you will find things to entertain you' Eve smirked over at him, half-accusing half amused.

'Well if you will keep turning me down then I'm gonna have to start looking elsewhere aren't I' He smirked first at her then winked at Tanner whose was shooting him a death stare, he didn't quite notice M's head snap up, but he noticed when he looked over at her how her eyes quickly diverted away to a spot on the page in front of her.

She hadn't yet said much, internally she was fighting her disappointment but externally she just seemed uninterested. Tanner cut in harshly,

'Bond this isn't negotiable, you need to sign the forms and they need to be done by tomorrow, I wish I could have given you more notice but there you are, you're needed ASAP, drive up now sign the damn things then drive back down to have you fling, as long as she doesn't come to her senses in the meantime, I', sure you'll be fine' Now he was smirking

'Can't I just drive up tomorrow' he mumbled, really fucking disappointed he couldn't spend the night with M, maybe they could eat and watch the film then he would drive up.

'Yes if you want to drive up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, they need to start training, which means their forms need to be completed, which means you need to be there before the 0630 start, which means leaving here around 0230 to make sure you get there in time'

'Only takes 2ish hours' Bond groaned

'Only if you drive like an idiot, it's close to 200miles away! But then you wouldn't be Bond if you didn't act lik…'

M finally spoke, cutting Tanner off from his rant

'Leave now Bond, have some sense of safety on the roads, they need you alive and not arrested, can easily drive back down, a round trip of perhaps 7 hours, just move your plans' Both sets of lips quirked 'I'm sure they can wait'

'Fine, but she won't be happy' He tried so hard not to laugh, and luckily there was a knock at the door, Eve stood to answer.

'Oh My, M they sent more!' She stepped aside as one of the women on the front desk walked in with a smaller, but exquisite bunch of lilies. She flashed Bond a glamourous smile, which he acknowledged with a nod, before turning to Eve

'Actually they're for you, shall I put them on your desk' she said

Eve gaped and nodded. The tall woman turned and left, winking flirtatiously at Bond.

'Me…' Eve was stunned, 'Ma'am was this you?' She asked staring at M in awed surprise

'I wish it was but no, it's not, you must be popular' M smiled but returned to her paperwork and the others took it as a sign to leave, Bond let the others lead as he tried to catch M's eye but she was absorbed in her work, he hung back until the woman, Helen, he thought she was called, had stepped into the lift.

He discreetly ignored the whispers he heard from Tanner and Moneypenny as he hummed quietly, waiting for the elevator. He did happen to catch 'You didn't need to' and 'You said no one had so I thought' When the elevator arrived he stood onto it and turned to hold it for Tanner, he noticed how close they were, and was sure he saw Tanner release of her hand as he got on the elevator with a small smile he couldn't get rid of.

'Bout time Bill' Bond said when the doors closed,

'I have no idea what you're talking about' He said nonchalantly

'The lillies were a nice choice'

'Her favourite… but I couldn't afford a bouquet as big as yours'

This time Bond stalled

'What d'you mean?'

'I assume you sent M the flowers' He said calmly

'And why do you think that?' Had they been this obvious

'Well I walked into her office just before you went on mission, it was past 10 and well, I thought she'd be gone, she'd called the car away hours before. You two were asleep, now I know M, I've worked with her a long time and I have never seen her allow people as close as you were. I know her personal life is difficult, you figure things out when you work this closely with someone, but she has never told me and I will never ask. I can see you make her happy, particularly these last two weeks. Don't fuck this up!'

They stood in silence for a minute before Bond turned to Tanner, he had million things to say to him but in the end he just offered a handshake,

'I won't Bill… I, I do care, this isn't a… fling'

'Good' He said, shaking Bond's hand firmly and turning back to the doors

* * *

Bond was exhausted, the drive up was brilliant, with very little cars on the road he put his foot down and tested the new Jaguar F-Type he'd managed to convince Q to let him drive, and he had managed it in just over two hours. It was the drive back that was horrendous and it took him over an hour just to get through London. To make it worse he hadn't heard from M. He trudged into his flat, deciding a quick shower and coffee was in order before he would go find M. On entering his flat he could smell something incredible cooking in his kitchen, he dropped his bag and walked straight to the kitchen, still in his wet jacket.

M was there, chopping veg as something baked in the over, she noticed him and smiled shyly at him.

'You are so nice to come home too'

'I wanted to surprise you' she looked lovely, wearing a pale beige tunic and bare feet, she looked as at home as he had seen her there.

'You look beautiful' he sounded almost sad with his serenity and she dropped the knife, moving over to him and took hold of his neck, kissing him ardently.

He returned the kiss with the same force, savouring everything he could of her from a kiss. When they broke apart she moved her hand to his cheek, then turned him and helped him out of his jacket, which he slung over his arm.

'Dinner will be about 20minutes, why don't you go shower and change beforehand' she turned and moved back to the counter but stood watching him while he peered around.

'I should have cooked' he said finally, slightly crest-fallen at not having spoilt her,

'I was home first' she said with a shrug

she hadn't realised what she had said, but the fact she had so easily called his flat 'home' made Bond swell with pride and he kissed her a few more times before disappearing to the bathroom.

Once he had showered and changed he moved into the kitchen to see her dishing up pasta bake on to two plates.

'It smell incredible sweetheart' he said, kissing her cheek and moving to the fridge. As M looked over at him he was doing the exact same pose her husband often adopted, but she shook that from her mind, Bond was nothing like Greg and she was beginning to love him for it.

'Would you like wine with dinner? We have the Rioja from the restaurant or a Chardonnay in the fridge?' he looked up at her and they stood in silence just smiling at each other.

'Let's save the Rioja for something different' she said finally, snapping out of her moment and finishing off the plates of food.

Grabbing glasses Bond laid the dining table for them, they ate leisurely and discussed work, Bond ranted about traffic and then told her how the females recruits were whipping the men in all areas. She chuckled and told him of the row she had with the prime minister. As the conversation lulled Bond decided to mention his conversation with Tanner.

'Are you aware that Bill knows?' he said cautiously,

'I asked Moneypenny to inform him I was with someone, after you had the flowers brought to the office' she said, looking up at him to see if it was okay.

'He knows its us, me and you, he... found us sleeping in your office' he trailed off as he waited for her reaction

She looked surprised, then scared, then slightly angry before she shook the whole thing off and went back to her food.

'Well?' Bond prompted

'If it was anyone else I would be concerned, but I like Bill, I trust him and he has always been loyal, it seems right that he knows'

Bond grinned 'He gave me a proper big brother speech in the elevator'

'Did he, what was said?'

'Ohh that you seemed happier recently and that may be due to me and that I shouldn't screw it up'

'I can assure you, you're the reason I'm happy' she smiled over at him 'and you couldn't screw it up, but when you want out, please do talk to me, don't do one of your disappearing tricks' she actually seemed to think it was a possibility.

'I'm not going to do that to you, I'm not going anywhere, I promise'

'You cannot promise that James, I'm old and married, and at some point you will want kids and a comfortable house with someone you can love and be with and it just isn't me'

'Well then it isn't what I want... This is what I want, and if I can only have it when you're free, then I am willing for that to be the case!'

'You deserve so much more'

'But I want you, so whether I deserve more or not I am happy with what I have'

She blushed and they finished their meals,

'This was gorgeous, thank you' he complimented, reaching for her plate as he carried them both into the kitchen.

'I'll wash them in a second' M said as Bond started filling the sink

'You cooked so I'll wash' he smiled back and quickly rinsed out the dishes they had used.

'Would you like dessert?' she asked him from the dining room

'What have we got?'

'I err, made an apple pie, so that would take about half an hour to cook.'

'Have you been here all night?' He grinned happily over at her

'Yeah, I like it here' she shifted on her toes.

'I love you being here, I was just surprised' he pulled the plug and dried his hands

'Why don't we put your pie in and we can get ready for bed, then just chill on the sofa'

'That sounds good' she said and moved to the fridge and took out the round dish she'd made the pie in.

30minutes later they were back in the kitchen, Bond wore jogging pants and a vest and M was in another of Bond's shirts but also a pair of her own black silk night pants as the autumn nights were certainly getting colder.

M was dishing out the pie into their bowls with pouring cream as Bond put away the now dry dishes from before. For Bond the quiet familiarity of it made him very happy and he liked seeing M in this light.

He grabbed his bowl and followed her out into the living room where Bond's newly bought TV hung against the bare wall.

'I don't have any films so I rented some' he admitted, showing her the small selection

'The 39 steps seems appropriate'

Bond chuckled and placed it in the machine, he moved back onto the sofa and they sat close as they ate their dessert. He continued to compliment her and the food, it was something she couldn't quite get used to, each time he turned to her she expected something negative.

They both finished and placed their bowls on the coffee table, Bond slung his arm over M's shoulder and she leant into him enjoying how he immediately began drawing shapes across her arm. They had small conversations about how the film and shared simple but meaningful kisses. As the film finished M roused herself from the near slumber she fell into, Bond was warm and supportive, the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed created a sense of tranquility along with the gentle and loving way in which his fingers caressed and stroked her skin.

They didn't speak as they stood and headed to the bedroom, Bond disappearing quickly into the bathroom. M opened her top drawer and pulled out the Arnica cream she'd been given, it had worked wonders on her skin. Heading into the bathroom once Bond came out she quickly applied it and brushed her teeth and hair. As she headed back into the bedroom Bond approached and kissed her, not as tenderly as they had been sharing that evening but exciting and romantic.

'What was that for?' She asked breathlessly as they broke apart,

'I have a favour to ask' He said, a note of sadness in his voice that worried her more than anger

'Yes?'

'Let me see beneath the shirt, let me see what your ashamed of' His whisper was warm and caring but she pulled back from him

'James… I'

'What are you scared of?' He cut her off

'You will not like what you see, I feel like you still see me as this pillar of strength, the way I can be at work, but I'm human and I'm not perfect, far from it and I don't want to see the disappointment or the disgust' She turned from him to leave the room but he stepped up and rested his hand on her hip.

'I could never be… please, just let me see' He was whispering over her shoulder and she turned to face him, to see the honesty she needed.

'Okay' she mumbled and he kissed her, walking slowly over to the bed he sat down.

'Come up here and make yourself comfortable'

She let go of some of her fear and climbed onto the bed, lying in the centre and reaching for Bonds hand, squeezing it tightly. He kissed her again, leaning over from the side so he wouldn't hurt or frighten her. After a few minutes of languid kissing his hand that had been playing in her hair began to slowly move down to the collar of her shirt, he broke the kiss

'Are you ok?' he asked as he found the first button.

She nodded and he began to slowly undo them, by the third he could see all of her breast and bent his head to kiss them with small butterfly touches. He was enjoying himself when he felt her free hand tap his shoulder.

'I'm too distracted to appreciate that James'

'I wanna help you relax'

'It's kind of you but, please just make it quick so we can move on' there was fear and regret in her voice but her eyes were dry

He squeezed her hand and began to move lower, undoing the next few buttons until the shirt was completely open. Her skin was scarred; the sins from where she had carried her children were faint but noticeable. He ran his finger along the Caesarian scar,

'Which was this with?' he asked softly, planting faint kisses along it

'Martin. He was ill, we thought we may lose him'

He breathed in a sympathetic sigh and moved the shirt further out showing her sides. He noticed a burn mark just below the right side of her ribs, he bent his head to it and kissed it slowly but did not question it, moving on to the smaller scars and blemishes she was ashamed for him to see, some clearly more intentional than others.

As he moved back up her body he kissed a winding pattern until he reached her lips,

'You are beautiful Grace, I don't know what you are ashamed of' he kissed her neck, still holding her hand.

'James, wait' she whispered and he looked up at her 'stand up' she said to him, pushing him from the bed

'Are you alright?'

'I need to show you... Please don't be angry'

She slowly removed her arm from the sleeve but clutched it to her and rolled over into her front. He could see faint bruises on her arm where Greg must have grabbed her.

She gently began to remove the shirt from the other arm and slid it down her back, Bond saw what she was hiding. The almost entire centre of her back was bruised, running right along her spine. Bond couldn't move, couldn't even speak. His body was physically frozen in anger and disgust.

'What the fuck did he hit you with?'

'Nothing, he umm…'

She turned her face from where she had hidden it within the pillows and looked at him, her bottom lip wobbled slightly,

'He had me against the door frame' she swallowed 'One of his going away treats' she laughed bitterly.

'I fucking hate him'

She only nodded calmly,

'M, you need to stop this, this is… So fucking wrong' Bond began to move away and M clutched to the pillow as she turned to watch him, he looked as though he was about to be sick, pacing around, looking at the floor.

'Is there anything I can do for it?' His voice was calm and controlled when he spoke. He was treating her differently, and it upset her.

'In the bathroom there's a tube of cream, it's Arnica, would you..?' he had already left the room to fetch it.

She buried her face in the pillow and took a deep breath, fighting back tears. After all they had become, all the feelings had allowed herself to feel for him, as soon as he saw the bruises he called her M again, she knew it would happen, that he would realise exactly how unappealing she really was, she thought she had prepared for it but it didn't make the disappointment and pain any less.

He approached carefully, lying by her side and taking her hand, gently kissing the base of her neck he placed kisses down the spine, wishing he could sooth the pain. She lay still and silent, trying to feel reassured but finding it hard to release the emotion she felt.

He began to apply the cream, she winced when he touched her neck and he stopped, squeezing her hand to check she was okay. She squeezed back and he very careful began to apply the cream again. He moved further down and applied the cream to the base of her spine, it seemed to be more painful and she squirmed uncomfortably. He looked more closely; he could see a number of splinters. He moved again from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom, he was so anger he didn't feel he could speak, Greg was a sick bastard and he wasn't sure how long he could go without doing something more permanent.

He found the medical kit and pulled out the tweezers, moving back into the bedroom with a small piece of folded tissue he lay back down, this time he kissed her shoulder blade and whispered

'I'm sorry if this hurts, tell me, straight away and I'll stop'

He then moved back down and began to remove the splinters from her lower back. It took 15 minutes or so and by the time he was sure there were no more he had removed 26 from under her skin. She had lay in silence and stared off into space as he did it. Once he was finished he got up of the bed and past her shirt, before clearing everything away and moving back to the side of the bed.

The silence was unbearable.

'Bond…'

'Grace…'

They said at the same time, and in that moment all the tension was released. Bond fell onto the bed and M sat up so they could kiss each other properly for several minutes

'You called me Bond?' He stood moved over to the bathroom to switch the light off 'Why?'

'You called me M I wondered if you wanted to return to the return to normal' She lay down slowly and pulled at the covers around her, Bond followed suit, pulling off his jogging trousers, leaving him in the vest and boxers.

'I don't want us to go back to before, I want you here, but I want you here all of the time.' he stared at her and she shook her head, telling him not to try that argument tonight.

Instead he beckoned her into him and cuddled her close to his side. She looked up to into his face and rolled more into him so she could kiss him

'I love you Grace' he said again against her lips and kissed her, she felt the warmth in his voice and body flow through into hers, she felt tears in her eyes but she couldn't remember feeling so adored and cherished, and she felt the same about him, she couldn't remember feeling like this about anyone before

'I think… I love you, James' She said quietly, letting one of the fat, salty tears fall down her cheek and land on his chest

'It makes you cry' he asked, wiping the tear-trail away with the pad of his thumb,

'It isn't that, it's been such a long time since I've said it and actually meant it'

'You are the only one I've said it too'

She looked him straight in the eye and cupped his cheek.

'I do love you James' she said without any hesitation

They kissed several more times before lying back down to sleep in the arms of someone they loved.

* * *

**So give feedback as always and just to let you know, next chapter we have some new OC's in the mix :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter just refused to write itself, I hope you like it because I'm not sure I do!**

* * *

The next morning Bond woke to a similar situation as before, this time it was worst as M's leg was somehow in between his, almost completely over him, she was hugging him tightly around is midriff. He struggled to get out of bed and she moved her leg right along his thigh as she turned over.

He disappeared quickly and was appalled by how quickly he came, he still felt it wasn't enough, he was about to shower and cool himself off when he heard M call out.

'Are you okay?' he asked, standing in the bathroom door looking over at her

'Yeah' her voice was thick and lethargic, it made his groin pulse as he looked over her in his bed 'are you coming back to bed?' He had wanted to hear her say that for years.

'Sure' He got back into bed with her; she clung tightly to him and kissed his chest, causing him to close his eyes and breathe in silently

'You feel hot' she mumbled into his chest, 'did you just..?'

'It was necessary' he cut in, not sure what her reaction would be,

'I could have done...'

'No' he said sharply, she didn't say anything she just squeezed him a little tighter and she he wondered what could be wrong,

'Are you okay darling?' He murmured softly

'Of course' her voice was soft and quiet

'Were you worried it wasn't for you?' he ducked lower in the bed so he was eye level with her.

She looked as if she planned to argue but then hid her face in his shoulder, 'It shouldn't surprise me, but… I mean you woke and you disappeared straight into bathroom, I thought maybe you had dreamt about someone, Eve or'

'Eve! Why would I want Eve..?'

'Yesterday, in the office, you said…'

'I knew that was a bad move, I was just joking, that wasn't meant to make you worry, it was a jab at Tanner'

'Tanner?' she asked, confused

'Him and Eve have been tiptoeing around for ages, I keep pushing them but sometime you have to tease. They are fully smitten, it's why we never have, she's had a thing for him for years and he feels the same, they just… can't get it together!'

She looked surprised and then laughed

'I had no clue'

He shrugged, still uncomfortable at how each time she spoke, moved or looked at him he was growing aroused again. He watched her intently, she was fidgety and jumpy

'What's up?' he said carefully

'Nothing' she answered too quickly

'Grace' He kissed her hair and she hummed her approval,

'What's going on?' he asked quietly, kissing her neck

'I just wish I could have done it for you' she mumbled looking both disappointed and ashamed

'I will never enjoy it unless you are, I could never force you'

'I want to though' she said honestly 'I want to move on'

'I want that too, I want to show you how amazing it can be, it shouldn't be about pain, it should be intimate and exciting' he moved his mouth back up until it was level with his ear, whispering seductively in her ear

'And I want to be able to make you feel all the good things, I want to make you feel like you can lost control with me'

He slowly moved his hand down her body, touching the skin at the bottom of his shirt, being the fabric up her thighs,

'Not today' she said shakily, pushing his hand away from her legs and placing it near her ribs

'If you're scared, we can work on it' he offered kindly,

'I need to shower and dress before...'

'Grace, talk to me, why not?' she looked at him imploringly, but he didn't give in

'I'm... Sore' She mumbled, standing from the bed and searching for her clothes,

Bond tried to comment but the words stuck in his throat, instead he stopped her search and kissed her delicately, squeezing her hand.

'Do you have to leave?' he asked, disappointed.

'No, I asked the car to pick me up from here this morning' she chuckled at his surprised happy face

'So you can stay for breakfast?' he looked at the clock, they had over an hour.

'Yes, but I really need to shower' she disappeared into the bathroom, he shouted to her he was popping out to get breakfast and left her to it. She was glad she had picked up her overnight bag from work, as it meant she didn't have to wear the same outfit as the day before; Something Eve was bound to notice.

He came back around 20 minutes later, finding M in the kitchen making a pot of tea,

'Would you like a cup?' She asked, turning to see him and finding his lips on hers, her legs grew weak at the intensity of the kiss and she found herself actually clinging to him to stay standing.

'I don't think I'll ever get used to that' She said, looking up at him to read his eyes

'I want to appreciate you while you're here, because it will kill me when you leave'

'It'll hurt me more' she had meant emotionally but they both knew the words had a more apparent meaning

'Grace…' He didn't know what to say, he wanted to tell her to fuck Greg and stay safe within his arms, but he knew she wouldn't accept it

'What do we have for breakfast?' she asked, directing away from the conversation that was building between them

'I brought eggs and a good loaf and some other bits and bobs, I was thinking French toast, what do you fancy with it?'

She smiled at him, thankful he let the subject drop,

'I don't mind at all' She said, kissing his cheek and leaving him to make the decisions, she checked the bedroom to make sure she had everything she would need for work.

She could here Bond humming to himself in the kitchen and it made her smile; she loved the relaxation and lightness of his flat. She walked into her kitchen and watched him mix the eggs,

'You're making me nervous?' he said after a while, making her laugh outright

'I can't believe I could ever do that to the great OO7' she said with a chuckle as she approached and searched for something to do

'You used to' He said honestly, handing her a bag of fruit and gesturing to the sink.

'I used to make you nervous?' she scoffed, he just nodded as he left the eggs and began slicing the think bread he had bought

'I always thought you didn't like me' she shrugged the comment off but he could hear the injured tone beneath her pride.

'I never didn't like you' He turned to her to prove his point 'I always liked you a bit too much' He mumbled and she scoffed again

'You like me now, but only because you feel sorry for me'

'Bullshit' he retorted, not missing a beat 'It has nothing to do with the situation with Him… Why do you honestly think I was up at your hotel room that night?'

'I..' She suddenly thought about it, why had he followed her?

'I was tired of fantasising. You were beautiful that night, like you are on all those nights, like you are every day. That night I just found I couldn't keep thinking it if I couldn't tell you, at least once, what I thought'

'That's very sweet but…'

'No buts. I have felt like this for a long time… I never thought it would happen and the circumstances are not ideal but, you're here' he shrugged modestly and turned back to the food, beginning to fry the bread, the conversation dropped as Bond finished making breakfast but as they sat at the dinner table with French toast, strawberries, blueberries, yogurt and maple syrup, M decided her questions couldn't go unanswered for any longer.

'When did you begin to feel like that?' She asked in a hushed tone, motioning between them with her folk

'You mean started having feelings for you?' He asked

'Yeah'

'Do you remember the first assignment you gave me?' He said, swallowing his mouthful

'Berlin 2007, you completed it in three days but it still took you a month and a half to return with the company car'

'I couldn't help it, it was beautiful'

'The car or the girl you picked up' she quipped

'The countryside' He clarified 'When I came back you bollocked me for over thirty minutes, I remember how you stormed around, threatening me with all sorts of torture but you had no idea what you were doing was torture'

'Reprimanding you for misuse of company property is not torture' she said frankly put playfully, standing from the table and collecting up the plates

'I was hard the whole time'

She shot him a harsh look, she didn't want him to joke with him about this but she saw honesty in his face as he avoided her eyes. His hands were pushed flat against the table and he shyly looked up at her, scared she would be angry at his admission.

'I couldn't even make it to my car; I have never been so thankful that double-O's get an office.' She moved to stand beside him, leaning down to kiss him, adjusting herself so she was straddling him in his seat. Bond gasped at her bold behaviour and M slid her tongue into his mouth, he kissed her back and took her hands, lifting them above their heads as she moaned top of him, he was rapidly growing and she would feel how aroused he was in a second. Unsure on how she would handle feeling him, he pushed her further along his thighs, the kiss broke and she leant her forehead against his.

'Would something like that have suited you better?' She smirked against him and kissed him again, releasing his hands and wrapping her arms around his neck, playing with his hair, they stayed casually kissing like this for minutes, neither being able to get enough of the other. He groaned into her mouth as she began to ease out of the kiss,

'I have to go' She whined, looking to the digital clock beside the toaster, how fast time flew when she was with him.

'You're mean' He pouted, she kissed him tenderly a few more times, standing gently up and leaning against the table, he hardly had to raise himself out of the seat to continue to kiss her,

'God, I really must go; she moaned as he kissed her neck, closing her eyes and letting her head lull back, he continued his loving assault,

'Stay home' He murmured against her neck, moving his mouth to cover hers, they tangled for a little longer before she finally pulled away, gasping for air as he slumped back against the chair.

'I'll see you this evening' she said, standing and collecting up her bag, he stood to help her into her coat and pouted at her again, she reached up and smoothed his hair,

'Go shower, I'm sure you can sort yourself, again' She ran her hand down his chest, leaving it on his stomach as she kissed his cheek

'Would be so much better if I had you reminding me why I'm This hard!' he said as he began to nudge the collar of her coat with his nose so he could kiss her neck and shoulder

'I'm sure you'll think of something' she stroked his face and retreated from the kitchen, he stood by the door as she slipped into her heels and then blew him a kiss with a wink and left his flat. Bond leant against the wall, he felt happy, gloriously happy that M was finally beginning to find some of her confidence again; he had no clue that she was sharing the same sense of euphoric pride in the achievement.

He moved off into the bathroom and had a long, leisurely shower, in which he teased himself to point of madness with thoughts of her; when she had lectured him on his misbehaviours, when she had kissed him without any fear, when she moved against him in bed or allowed him to touch her in a way he never dreamed possible. There were also the thoughts of what was to come, if she continued to grow confident, maybe enough to leave Greg but at least enough to find satisfaction and comfort in Bond.

He felt thoroughly sated as he toweled himself off and felt into back into bed, surrounded by the smell of her on his sheets. He woke around 1100, feeling happy and refreshed, he dressed casually, or as casually as he did, and called M.

'I'm busy' her voice was light and playful, he assumed she must be alone,

'I wanted to say, you're mean. But also you should go home tonight' before he could continue he heard a sharp intake of breath and could almost feel the sadness down the phone,

'Only to collect some things, and then come round here. Just pick out a couple work outfits and other things that mean you could stay here more often, without it really being noticed.' He listened to her sigh of relief 'I've even cleared room in the wardrobe' He added 'I noticed you brought your bag from work yesterday but I forgot to mention it this morning, you know with all the distractions!'

'That's very sweet, I'll head over once I've finished here and sort some things out, I shouldn't be more than an hour' He heard someone knock on the office and M call out for them to wait

'One last thing Grace' He said with a smile 'I love you'

'I love you too James'

He hung up and beamed to the empty bedroom, he decided he fancied a visit to his tailors, which led to a leisurely lunch in his favourite Oxford circus restaurant; he was wandering up Oxford Street when an idea hit him. He had just walked by Pandora and noticed the attractive little charms that could be added to the bracelets, he decided he would surprise her, spoil her with something, so when she did have to return to Him she could remember she wasn't alone, that someone did love her like she should be loved. He spent a long time trawling the Oxford Street jewellers but still hadn't found anything quite perfect enough for her. Instead he hailed a cab and headed to Hatton Green; here it wasn't quite as busy as Oxford and he explored each shop, he wasn't quite sure what he wanted, but he decided it needed to be a bracelet. A ring would probably be noticed, as would earrings, and he felt a necklace would be a bad choice. He found many that he thought she would like, but none of them really sang her name to him, that was until he walked by one of the boutique stores and noticed it. He had to get it, he had never seen anything so perfect for her, and it would match her eyes.

'As you can see the sapphires are oval cut Sir, of 12cts total weight, alternating with brilliant round cut diamonds, mounted in an 18ct white gold four claw setting. Perfectly subtle and suitable for any occasion' the immaculate salesman informed him, as he placed it in the beautiful velvet box. He just looked down at the sparking line bracelet with a warm sense of devotion in his chest.

* * *

M was delayed that night; she didn't leave the office until gone 1900 and then went to her house. It was cold and quiet when she entered, she collected the post, and began to check everything was where it needed to be before Greg returned home. She packed a bag quickly and was out of there within the hour as promised. When she returned to Bond's the flat was dark but a soft sound hit her, it wasn't the roar of a sport's match or the other rubbish Greg normally watched, it was music playing out from the sophisticated sound system. As she put her bags down Bond's silhouette appeared in the doorway moving slowly towards her, with only light from the kitchen spilling out into the hall. Bond continued to sashay his way over to her and kissed her lips softly. She laughed quietly against him and he took her hand,

'Come dance with me' he encouraged, swaying them more to the music, which was a lively, almost swing, instrumental piece. She felt silly at first as he was obviously an accomplished dancer and she hadn't danced like this in such a long time, but as he placed gentle kisses against her skin she began to dissolve in his touch and allowed him to lead her more, laughing as he spun and caught her against his chest.

'I missed you' he said when the song faded, and she blushed,

'Are you hungry?' he said pulling her into the kitchen

'Yes, very' she stepped into the warm light of the kitchen, smiling at the vase with a collection of multi-coloured tulips.

Beaming over at him 'What did I do to deserve these?'

'You don't have to do something to deserve being spoilt'

'Well you spoil me to much' she bent her head to smell the sweet flowers and felt his hands touch her hip, he pulled her against him, her back to his chest, something that Greg had done many times before, but this time she wasn't scared. He kissed her temple and she pulled his arms around her tighter.

'You've dealt with a lot of shit that you didn't deserve darling, let me make up for some of it'

She settled into him more and closed her eyes; he was wearing cologne, a smell she always associated with him. Reminding her of aniseed and dry wood, mixed with his own sweet scent, it had become the most calming aroma in the world to her.

'It's not your place to have too'

'And if I want too' He murmured in her ear and he pulled of a loose petal from the flowers and ran it across her throat and chest that wasn't covered by her shirt.

'I must admit, I do love it when you treat me like' Her breath hitched and voice halted as he dropped the petal into her cleavage

'However you planned to end that sentence, you are' He turned her only enough to reach her lips with his then pulled away, she felt a chill she wasn't used to as she craved to be back in his arms. She found his back turned to her as he returned to the shove; she came up close behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

The height difference meant her face was pressed exactly where his heart was and she listened to the beating of it, her arms were under his so he could continue cooking and palms resting flat against his front, she stayed like that for a minute and he wasn't sure if she was happy or sad.

'How was your day?' His voice rumbled through her

'Fine, I wanted to leave before I'd arrived' She leant up and kissed the back of his neck, 'What are we eating?'

'Riscotto, home-made, from scratch' he said proudly, smirking at her over his shoulder.

'Wow, that's amazing, what kind?'

'Chicken and Parma Ham'

He turned to her holding the wooden spoon for her to try, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the tastes bubbling in her mouth, she had to admit it was one of the best risotto's she'd eaten, and she told him so.

'It's not that good' he said modestly, turning and trying it himself, 'do you think it needs more wine?'

'I think it's perfect, I love risotto.'

'I know' He stirred it and turned the simmering heat completely off

'How?'

'You had it that first night, in the hotel, and you've ordered it before at functions and dinners, when I've been at your table. So I thought it would be a good thing to learn to cook, just in case'

She stood stunned, with tears pricking her eyes at his obvious care and consideration, he swept her up as soon as he realised and she clung tightly to him, in a desperate attempt to hide inside him and stay wrapped in him forever.

'You are truly the kindest man I've ever known' she said thickly,

'I'm not kind' he said, his voice displaying some of his deeper sentiments towards himself, she looked up at her and ran her fingers though his hair,

'Yes you are. You're kind, and caring, and Patient.' On each word she kissed him 'Loving. Romantic. Safe.' She felt his jaw tighten minutely, so she whispered against his lips 'You are saving me Bond, from Him and myself.' He closed his eyes and leant his forehead against hers.

'Come on, let's eat' she said, squeezing his hand,

* * *

They had finished dinner and changed into the comfortable clothing they had worn the night before. They were sitting in the living room listening to the music playing out of the music system, Bond had his legs up on the sofa, leaning against the arm with M leaning against his torso, entangling her legs with his,

'I like you coming home to me' Bond murmured into her ear

'I wish I could do it every night'

'No complaints here'

there was a pause

'James... I'

'I know. I know' He breathed in and dropped his arm onto the back of the sofa, staring behind it 'But please remember, you have somewhere to come, you are not alone.'

She nodded against him and snuggled into his body more, he breathed calmly, there was so much more he wanted to say, but this was their last night for a while, and he wanted to enjoy it, he still had to find a moment suitable to give her the bracelet.

'You are the best man I have ever loved James' M said and as Bond looked at her to argue he saw the silent tears that had fallen. Apparently he wasn't the only one to realise it was their last night together.

'Dance with me again' they stood and Bond led her over to the empty space, between the corridor and the dining room. They swayed slowly to the rhythm of the song playing, M hummed along to it against Bonds chest. As that one finished Bond stopped moving but as soon as M heard the first few chords of Frank Sinatra's version of 'As Time Goes By' she moved she smiled up at him and moved into him more.

'Is this song is important to you?' He whispered as he began to move them to the softer the tempo.

'No, but it is a favourite of mine?'

'Why?' His hand on her back began to move in its unique, intricate pattern along her back and she pressed herself into him more

'I was in Paris when I first heard it, I always remember it because I was standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower, just looking down thinking how much I wanted to be in love and stand in the same spot like all of the couples were'

'How old were you?' he was slowly moving his hand up her spine, across the bruises, the barely made contact of his fingertips through the fabric felt as if it was healing the damage beneath.

'9' She laughed softly, 'My parents went for their anniversary and took me along, I had never realised how much they really loved eachother until then'

They danced on, with Bond slowly leading and M relaxing into him more and more; she would occasionally raise her head and kiss him before burying her face in his neck. The music had stopped, but neither seemed interested in anything but the other at this point.

'You will have to tell me about your time in Paris, it always seems to make you happy'

'My time in Paris was some of the happiest of my life' she smiled reminiscently 'It is only challenged by the early years with my children... and the time I spend with you' they stopped moving and he looked into her eyes.

'This is the best time of my life Grace, you are the best thing in my life' they kissed with the passion of those who hadn't seen each other in a year. Their hands glazing over each other's bodies in a loving caress,

'Jesus Grace, why did you go to work this morning?' Bond moaned

'I had too' she chuckled 'I'm the boss'

He spun her out and caught her against his torso again, kissing her blindly,

'Shall we go to the bedroom' she whispered, taking his hand and leading him through to his room.

'We don't want a repeat of last time sweetheart, I'm happy here' he tried to stop them in the doorway, distracting her with kissing but she released him completely and moved over to the bed, sitting down on the edge she leant back on her elbows, eyeing him coquettishly, he could feel her gaze.

'Should I be offended that you don't want me' her tone was playful but her body language changed.

'I want you, god I want you' moved and kissed her ardently, she pulled him onto the bed so they were both kneeling like teenagers, leaning against each other. Her hands found his hair, his neck, his chest he slid his hands over her body with a ghostly touch, she gripped his collar and directed his mouth to her neck.

'Do you want to undress or shall I do it for you?' her voice was husky and tempting

The twinkle in her eye made him feel like he could float. 'Grace we...' she silenced him with her lips on his

'I want this Bond, I want it, for me'

'I don't want to kill the mood darling but, you told me you were sore this morning and I have no intention of making you feel anything but pleasure' He kissed her again but tried to ease off the bed, M reacted swiftly and pushed him down on the bed

'Please' he whined 'We will end up with a situation like this morning all over again'

'What did you think about this morning?' She moved the vest up to reveal his stomach and the toned muscle beneath, she pulled it over his head and leant further over him moving higher on the bed, looking down at him.

'I err, God' her hand drew patterns over his skin and it began to burn in the wake of her touch. 'You make me want to explode' He said through gritted teeth.

'Well why don't you do something about it?' she husked before kissing him hard, he reacted immediately, burying his hand in her hair, the other caressed up her arm and down her side.

He didn't think she must be very comfortable, she had her legs almost tucked under her as she leant against his side with one arm over him to keep her upright as she kissed him. But She was kissing him. She was stroking his cheek and neck and chest. Although he was on high alert for any sign of uneasiness, she didn't seem uncomfortable with the intimacy. As they continued he found it increasing tougher to resist, he asked again,

'Are you sure?' he was finding it difficult to talk as his hips began rising from the bed with the need to touch himself.

'I want you to' she said honestly 'I feel like I can move on' she kissed him then smirked 'I want to remind you why you're like this' reiterating his words from that morning, she ran her hand down his leg.

He groaned and she nipped at his neck, he moved the hand from her side and pushed down his boxers and slacks, kicking them off and noticing she was staring at his now very hard erection, her expression was unreadable,

'Do you want to stop?' he suggested, although that idea was nothing short of torture.

'No... You're just bigger than him' she moved her hand to his stomach and spread her fingers against it, still looking down at him.

He reached for her top button and her eyes flicked back to his, silently consenting, he popped the buttons all the way down before moving his hand back up to her chest, gently massaging her breast, she gasped in surprise but leaned into his touch, bending down so she could kiss him. He caught her nipple with his thumb and she moaned into his mouth, his restraint broke and he wrapped his free hand tightly around his cock, jerking and moaning as he did. He broke the kiss and began kissing her neck, balancing up onto his elbow, his hand rubbing himself rapidly.

She began to move her hand across his lower abdomen and he hissed, stopping in his administrations to her neck. She pressed her body into the side of him so he could feel her all along him. He fell back down onto his back, rhythmically pumping his cock as she watched, he found it both intimidating and arousing by how intrigued she was at his method.

He had been staring so intently at her that he hadn't noticed her hand moving until it joined his. His hips bucked wildly and he swore loudly, almost coming at the feel of her hand on him. He stopped his movement completely and breathed in deeply,

'Like this' her hand gently directed his on his cock and he used all of his will power not to thrust up into their grip, he watched her reaction, she was on edge and breathing deeply, he knew she was struggling but she seemed calm enough. She began to very slowly move their joined hands upwards,

'Fuck Grace' he moaned, trying not to come, feeling the tightness she was creating and the leisurely pace it was a struggle not to let himself release

'You're close, aren't you?'

He could only nod; she felt the dampness of where he had begun to leak.

Without thinking she grazed her thumb across the weeping tip, he bucked up, trying to hold off, and she let go of him, both watched as he sank his hand down at the same pace she had used for him. She looked at his face, then down at her thumb, she wasn't sure why she wanted to do it or where she'd found the courage but she licked his moisture off her thumb, holding his eye contact. He groaned and swore again, his body taking over of his thoughts and his hand speeding up to faster than before.

He moved down the bed so his face was level with her breasts. His mouth found them hungrily and he nipped and sucked until her nipples were hard and pebbled under his mouth. His free hand found hers and squeezed as he felt himself ready to come, she seemed to sense it because she moved down and kissed him passionately. His mind and body exploded and he moaned through the kiss, ribbons of his hot, sticky juice flew across his stomach and her shirt as she leant over him.

'You are amazing' he gasped a moment later

'I didn't actually do anything' she said but flattered all the same,

'Ohh yeah you did, I've not came that hard in years. How was it for you, are you okay?'

'I'm amazing' she giggled, kissing him again before being to move.

'Hey,' Bond reached for her hand 'Is there nothing I could do for you?' he smiled hopefully, not sure how she would feel about it.

'Not tonight my love' He nodded, looking down at the stains he'd caused to the shirt,

'We better get cleaned up' he looked down at himself and gave her a sheepish smirk, she cupped his face,

'Soon' She whispered and kissed him tenderly,

'You go shower, I'll sort out in here'

Bond stood and moved into the bathroom naked, not even bothering to shut the door properly. She felt happy, if a little astonished at her behaviour. She never expected herself to be in another man's bedroom after getting him off, well, 'helping' to. But she certainly didn't expect to be quite so happy about it. She shrugged off the shirt and slipped into the blue one that was always left in the middle drawer for her. She stripped the bed and remade it expertly.

She heard the shower turn off and stood by the door waiting for him,

'Sorry sweetheart' he said as he opened the door and looked at the tidy room 'Amazing' he said and smiled down at her

'I know, it's tidy' she teased him with mock shock

'I meant you!' he cut her off, 'How did you feel during it?'

'It was strange, different, I didn't know how I would be but I truly enjoyed it... I actually felt something, and it wasn't fear' she kissed his chest, 'Jump into bed, I'll just be a minute'

He did just that and by the time she returned he was asleep under the covers, she crawled in and kissed him gently on the lips before cuddling up to his side to sleep.

* * *

**Btw, I started writing the next chapter... I'm already crying...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello! Ohhh, i know you're going to hate me... Just don't kill me too much, particularly you .Dora, DissectingPomegranates and Fingirl... I'm biting my nails at this... Okkaaaiiii. *Deep Breath* Go read.**

* * *

The room was bright and warm; Bond felt M's mouth on his neck, working slowly down to his collarbone. He moaned quietly and stroked her back and side as she worked her way back up the other side. Reaching his ear she gently tugged on his lobe, laughing as she kissed him full on the mouth.

He rolled them gently, trying not to break the kiss, he hovered over her so he could kiss her easily, their tongues duelled and M moaned into his mouth, taking control more and exploring the feel of him. She arched up to feel him pressed against her and moaned, squirming slightly. He lowered some of his weight and she hummed her approval, he latched onto her neck and savoured the taste of her. Her fingers danced down his spine and travelled around his hip, resting at the hem of his boxers. She nipped at him again and lifted a hand to run through his hair, before he could protest he felt her small hand slide into his boxers and take him in her grasp, with just enough pressure to make it difficult to breathe but not to the point of pain. His elbows buckled a little and he moved to her side so he could look at her properly, her eyes were alive and happy.

She began to move her hand and the shirt she wore so it fell open, Bond dipped his head to her breasts, nipping and teasing them until she released him and buried both hands in his hair. He began to move his hand down her body, to the hem of her panties, teasing her before drawing patterns up to her breasts again, he kissed her neck and collarbones while his hands played with her until she was yearning for more, he moved back to her underwear and watched as he moved them down her legs, once they were below her knees she kicked them away impatiently. He took her leg, just under the knee and lifted it so her foot was flat on the bed. He then slowly moved his hand down her thigh, tracing the skin in the same patterns he loved to use on her, he mirrored his hand on her other leg with little kisses. They both watched his hand as it reached her apex, he gently teased her, running his fingers along her entrance, building up the excitement and swirling his thumb over her clit, making her jerk and whine each time. She moaned and arched under him, moving her hips so she could feel more, he finally relented and slowly slipped a finger into her. She moaned him name loudly just as the door opened, Bond turned to see Greg there, leering over at them in a drunken state. Standing quickly Bond moved straight for him but Greg was quicker, hitting him square in the jaw he flung Bond into the chair in the corner of his room. As Bond stood again he watched Greg turn to M on the bed and backhand her across the face, her cry made Bond's blood boil and he tried to move but found his feet stuck, he tried to shout but his throat wouldn't work, he could do nothing.

With the more effort he made to move he felt the paralysing effect move up his body, until he couldn't move at all. He watched as Greg grip M's hair and pull her harshly up the bed so she was lying naked in the centre. Bond wanted her to hit back, to defend herself, to desperately fight to keep him away, but she lay there, sobbing quietly as she gripped the sheets in fearful anticipation of what was to come, her eyes found Bond's imploringly and it killed him not to be able to help.

Greg noticed where she was looking and grabbed her throat, pushing her into the mattress further, kissing her furiously while he groped her body brutally, he pushed off her and stood at the foot of the bed, when she curled to her side he forced to lie back down flat, completely vulnerable and humiliated. He was undoing his pants, kicking them off, pulling his shirt over his head. He turned over his shoulder, looking at Bond with a malicious smirk, before forcing himself back between M's legs and into her.

Bond woke abruptly; M's scream echoing in her ears. He moved M off him carefully but she awoken nonetheless. Bond kicked off the blanket and grabbed his dressing gown, moving down the hall to the living room without a word.

It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to M; he just didn't know what to say. His dream had been so vivid that he felt ashamed and disappointed that he hadn't done something to help. He also felt angry that M would have to return to that type of situation that evening, and Bond couldn't see how to convince her not to. He sat on the sofa and let out a long breath, letting his head fall back.

He heard quiet footsteps and knew she had stopped just clear of the hall, he felt her watching him and without opening his eyes, he beckoned towards her to join him. He listened to the floorboards and she moved beside him and sat down with him. She cuddled into his side, placing one hand on his neck and buried her face into the other side, silently supporting him through whatever he was going through, her finger stroking the line between where his law met his neck.

They sat like that for a few minutes until he turned his head to hers and kissed her sweetly,

'What happened?'

He shook his head and looked off towards the black TV, the silence in the room was deafening

'Do you know what time it is?'

'Just after 0400' she spoke quietly and affectionately to him, playing with the hair on the back of his neck, the silence came back heavier than before

'I had a dream' he said simply and she didn't push him, she just looked on into his face

'We were... You and I were in the bedroom… and Greg came in'

M tensed and felt suddenly sick, she knew these types of dreams, when even her sleep was tormented by his treatment, but she was horrified that Bond was also suffering with them.

'He... Shit' as he though back over it, he began to feel sick, he leant forward, holding one of her hands in his

'I got up, he swung for me and I fell, and I tried to move but I couldn't... It's like I was frozen.' He shook his head and he felt her small hand on his back reassuringly

'He hit you, He fucking backhanded you across the face and I couldn't stop it' he hand a ran a through his hair in frustration.

'He... Umm...' he felt back into the cushions and breathed in a shaky, angry breath

'It was a dream James' She said soothingly, touching his arm as he stood and shrugged her away

'No M, for me it's a dream, that's your fucking reality, that is what you handle day in, day out' he breathed deeply, trying to contain his anger as he made the plea he had held back over the last week.

'Do not go home to Him, stay here, permanently, grab your shit and leave, don't go back that fucking monster'

There was a deafening pause where they stared at eachother in the semi-darkness, he watched her, she looked as if she was weighing her options, he was sure he had her. Until,

'He's my Husband James' she said, quietly but firmly

'I don't fucking care!' he bellowed, making her jump and tears spring to her eyes

'I can't just leave' she said in a near whisper, pleading with her eyes for him to understand.

'Yes you can, clear out, come here, come Home. Send papers for divorce in the morning! You don't have to stay there'

'I do... He's my husband' she said louder, her decision being made

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards the bedroom, M's mind filled with so many other times she had been grabbed like this and what it usually entailed for her and she burst into tears. Bond pulled her all the way into the bathroom, standing her with her back to the large mirror, he lifted the shirt from her, tossing to the ground as he grabbed the shaving mirror.

'Look M, look at what your fucking Husband does to you!'

He shoved the small mirror into her face so she could see the blackened and bruised skin. Only then did he notice the fear, pain and hurt he had caused in her face.

He dropped the mirror to the floor and she flinched at what she expected would be shards of glass slicing into her skin but it never came. He tried to cup her cheek, but it made her flinch again, she tried to cover herself and shivered in the cold of the bathroom. She looked small and humiliated and he had never hated himself more.

He stepped back and offered her his dressing gown, when she took it with trembling hands he fell to the ground at her feet, locking his fingers together and putting them behind his head.

She pulled on the dressing gown and looked down at him, he looked utterly ashamed of himself. She had been scared; but as she looked at him she knew she wasn't scared of Him, merely of the memories He had reminded her of. He hadn't hurt her, he had just tried to prove a point. She let the tears fall anyway as the shock wore off, she stepped forward and pulled his head to her stomach, he began to murmur to her his apologies as he held her hips.

When her heart rate slowed enough for her to be able to talk, she lowered herself so she was she was kneeling in front of him

'It's okay, you were angry' he looked up to argue 'you would never hurt me; I know that' she said quietly.

'Still doesn't excuse it, I'm sorry, did it hurt?' his eyes were red and damp although no tears had yet actually escaped; he lifted her wrist and kissed it gently.

'No, it just surprised me and I was reminded of…'

'I acted like him today'

'You didn't, you were angry, we all get angry. You didn't hit me, you certainly didn't do anything worst, I was just surprised you grabbed me like that.'

'It was so rude of me, I didn't mean to pull and push you around' He closed his eyes and pushed hard with the palms of his hands against his temple

'You are nothing like him' she said sincerely, and when he looked up she kissed him to prove it,

'I'm sorry' He whispered against her lips, and kissed her with enough emotion to show he meant it

She reached for the shirt and took off his dressing gown, standing and turning to the mirror he had a view of all her bruises and scars across her back, he stood, but this time the anger had left him and only the concern remained.

'Please, please don't go back, come here, come Home, don't make me send you back, please' he pleaded to her in a restricted, hurt voice, hugging her tightly to him, making eye contact through the mirror.

'He'll kill me' she whispered, finally voicing the fear which kept her with him for so long.

'M, you run MI6!' Exasperation was now clear

'I cannot involve work, I will not have any of them thinking me incapable because of this, you know and you see me as weak'

'You are not weak! Nobody would see you as that but if you cannot leave him or kill him then let me!' The anger he felt towards Greg was growing again in his chest.

'No' her voice was quiet and scared but decided 'this is my life James, he is my husband… I will not involve you in this'

'I am involved' He said to her, stinging her with his gaze

She pulled away and left the bathroom and he heard her begin to dress, leaving Bond standing on the cold tiles. He stood still; angry, upset and disappointed. He listened to her moving around and thought over everything she had said, the more he listened to her movements, he began to feel a numb coldness begin to settle in him, not the kind just before a kill, that type he could control, use to his advantage. This was more like the numbness you feel when the innocence one dies or you find yourself in the torture cell. He walked into the bedroom and watched her as she fiddled in her handbag.

'You lied to me when you said you loved me' he said quietly, his voice void of any real emotion, watching as she dropped her bag on the floor in surprise.

'James, I didn't, I do lov...'

'No you don't. You had to have lied. You can't love me if you're going back to him'

'I'm not going back because I love him'

'Then why? Your marriage is over, you let him do this to you, it's like you believe you deserve to be punished and so you excuse his behaviour' she walked over and slapped him. Silent tears began cascading down her face, and her voice shook

'I do not let him! This isn't some purgatory, I have no choice!'

'I've offered you a choice, I offered you 3 choices and you don't want them' He didn't look at her, he couldn't

'I love you, James' She whispered

'Do not tell me you love me and then break my heart by going back to him' his voice was stony and cold.

She leant up and kissed his smarting cheek, he flinched but didn't pull fully away, standing with his hands braced by his side and shoulders tensed up.

'You're my guardian James, my savour..' she reached for his other cheek but he blocked her hand and moved away,

'I could have been, I wanted to. You didn't Want me'

With that he turned back into the bathroom and locked the door.

* * *

M was sure she was frozen to the spot if not for the heart hammering into her chest. She hadn't wanted this, hadn't wanted the fights it had brought about. She went to the wardrobe and pulled the bag out which she had filled with clothes and other items to leave at Bonds' flat less than 12hours before. She quickly and quietly emptied her drawers and the few items she had hung, replacing them with his blue shirt, the tears continuing thick and fast as she did. She turned to the door, there was so much she wanted to say to him but, she had a duty to Greg and she was sure one more plea from James and he'd have her.

* * *

Bond had slumped against the door and cradled his head, listening to the shuffling in the room next door, he hoped she would knock against the door but the room went silent and a few minutes later he heard the front door slam; M had gone. He sat there for a while, numb to everything surrounding him, he drifted off to sleep and woke with a crick in his neck.

He moved through to the bedroom, he first noticed her top drawer was slightly open and empty, he approached and checked them all; all were bare of all her possessions, and so was the wardrobe. M was gone for good. He noticed a small folded piece of paper on the chest beside door, picking it up he read her neat handwriting,

Darling,

I do love you,

I'm sorry,

G x

* * *

She left his flat quickly and called a taxi, she cried the entire journey home until by the time she actually arrived home she had nothing more to feel. She sent a quick message, asking for the car to be sent to her house at 0800hr. She pulled herself upstairs and crawled into the guest bed, she knew she couldn't face her own. She suffered a fitful couple of hours sleep with Bond words and Greg's actions plaguing her.

* * *

He ignored everyone for the rest of the day, and drank far too much.

He walked into the kitchen and spotted the tulips he had bought for her, the numbness subsided enough to allow a sharp pain to enter his heart. He picked up the vase and walked to the window, opening it he chucked the contest of it out, watching the colourful tulips and droplets of water land on the pavement below.

Although he tried to ignore it, he kept checking his phone. She didn't call. Both Moneypenny and Tanner had but Bond assumed M was merely sending them to do her business for her, and he wasn't settling for that. It buzzed around 1730 and he snatched it up, she'd sent him a text, of only four words.

'Forgive me, my love.'

He stared down at his phone, tempted to throw it against the wall, imagining the bitter satisfaction of listening to it smash.

She was going back to Him, to Hell.

He looked back at the boring show on the television, it had kept his drunken brain occupied but now even that wasn't distracting him from that morning's argument.

He pulled out his mobile again and pressed the speed dial,

'Hello, Jewels Precious Moments, How may we assist you?'

'Jewel, Bond'

* * *

M was staring out of her window, she had sent him the text over 15minutes ago and he hadn't responded, she couldn't stand him hating her. Biting her lip she thought to the night ahead, she had never been so scared to go home, or ever felt so totally alone. Part of her hated Bond for showing her how it could be, and stripping away the emotional barriers she had built against Greg's treatment. But the bigger, more logical part made her heart ache that she couldn't return to his loving embrace.

All she wanted was to go to Bond, but he had shown her she wasn't welcome there. She had thought about it all day, changed her mind back and forth a million times but she had to stand by her vows and return to Greg.

She picked up her coat and walked to the door. Moneypenny gave her a strange look,

'Ma'am are you sure you're alright? You haven't been yourself all day'

M tried to answer but felt tears prick her eyes, her smokescreen failing her as the burdens of her personal turmoil broke through, she looked down quickly but Eve had noticed and approached, standing close and placed a hand on her shoulder.

'What's wrong?'

She shook her head and faked a smile but Eve ignored it, instead she hugged her boss. M was shocked for a moment before clinging to the younger girl tightly.

'Thank you Eve' she said as they broke apart a little later.

'Anytime Ma'am' in a voice that made M think she meant it

She headed to the car quickly and let herself in before the driver even realised she was there.

'Good evening Ma'am' He said, surprised by her hurried behaviour

'Good evening Roy'

'Where to tonight?' he asked diplomatically, no one, besides James, knew as much about her personal life as Roy did. He was the most discreet man M knew and she made sure he was looked after well and above usual chauffeur, as his two boys at Eaton can attest.

The moment of truth, she took a deep breath

'The flat' she heard herself say, then realised what that meant, if she showed up at Bond's he wouldn't let her go and she wasn't sure she would have the strength to. But if she didn't go home then Greg would be worse when she did go home to him, and she would have to return some time, they all knew that.

Although the internal battle raged on she never redirected Roy and all to quickly they pulled had up at this flat. M hurried out and stepped onto the pavement looking up to his floor, the lights were on in the kitchen and, bedroom. M swallowed and took another step, feeling something snap beneath her shoe, she glanced down and was immediately hit with a tidal wave of tears. The tulips he'd picked out for her with less than 24 hours ago was now strew across the pavement.

She turned and climbed back into the car in a flurry,

'Ma'am?'

'Drive Roy, please' the tears were there again, she wasn't sure if she had managed a half an hour without them making an appearance that day.

Roy did exactly what he was told and grew no attention to his bosses emotional outpour in the back seat, he had to admit, to at least himself, he hadn't seen her this bad in a several years.

'Where to ma'am?' He asked again after an hour of driving aimlessly through London traffic, she had recovered from her tears now but her face was still stricken and gaunt.

She sighed and looked out of the window,

'Home'

* * *

He'd spoilt himself, he had two of Jewels most gorgeous girls on their way over and would be joining him for several hours and still his mind was on M. He'd made a coffee and tidied up, he couldn't help thinking what if she changed her mind, what if she came and he had company. He'd checked his phone again and again but he had nothing from her, his pride stopped him from calling, he knew he owed her an apology but she was so infuriating. He wanted her safe from harm, was that so much to ask for? But then he remembered how he had treated her that morning in the bathroom and he hated himself. He hated the look on her face and it made him sick that he put it there. There was a knock at his door, at least distraction was here.

* * *

They had been parked outside just shy of 10minutes and she hadn't gotten out the car. She was staring at the window where the television light flickered through the curtains.

'Ma'am, shall I take you back to the office?' Roy said, he knew that look of fear on her face and it normally resulted in a call the next morning telling him she was running late and then a deadly quiet journey.

'No.'

He didn't say anything more but looked out the window at the high-priced Kensington houses

'I won't be in tomorrow, so enjoy your weekend' She said as she opened the door and placed her feet on the pavement, she sat for a second longer then stood and shut the door

'Thank you M' He said quietly, looking to make sure she was okay, she looked at her house and then approached the driver window, which he nearly always had down if she wasn't in the car.

'Thank you Roy, you are very kind' her voice wavered towards the end and she looked away, down the street, before he could react she was standing on her porch steps. She stopped and turned, he thought she'd get back in, but she just waved him away, watching as he drove away. She turned and froze again, she pulled the phone out of her pocket and looked down at it, she clicked Bond's name before cutting the call, shoving her phone in her pocket.

She walked up the stairs and opened the front door, her whole body was shaking.

She entered quickly and hung her coat and bag

'Have you missed me?' his voice cut into her and she desperately tried to find that calm isolation she'd managed before Bond became involved.

She turned and saw his face, he was tanned from a week in Dubai

'It's always different when your away' She said honesty

'Come here' He said, she turned and walked over to him, in the doorway of the living room. He grabbed her head and kissed her aggressively, she manage to make no noise and hardly flinched. He pulled her against him hard, moving to her neck as he growled in her ear,

'I was expecting you to be waiting for when i got home. But no matter, we've got time'

she let out a silent prayer and closed her eyes. This was hell.

* * *

Bond woke late, exhausted and with hangover, he remembered his 'company' leaving around 0300 and decided one more drink before bed was a good idea he had no clue when he actually got to sleep, or why he was on the floor beside the wardrobe rather than in the bed, he dragged himself up and he checked the clock

'13:17' Fuck, it was really late.

His body worked on auto-pilot as her showered and dressed, he was pulled back to reality while shuffling through his wardrobe and noticed the blue shirt he'd given M hanging there, he took it out and stared at it. After how ever long he stared at it, he took it from the coat hanger and placed it back in the middle drawer, whether she cared or not, she would always be welcome. The apartment suddenly felt stuffy and claustrophobic, he decided he needed a walk.

* * *

He couldn't tell you where he went or how he'd managed to get back, when he walked back though the door at 1800, all he knew was he was drenched and cold. He showered again and changed into casual clothing, turning on the TV, he clicked aimlessly through the channels until he fell asleep there on the sofa.

He awoke to a knock at his door; he grumbled and thought about ignoring it, probably some random neighbour after sugar, M had a key anyway. He sat hoping the person on the other side would leave him be, but they became more persistent and he felt that if it was M he really couldn't refuse her anything. He stood and walked slowly, pulling the door to see a pale faced, worried Eve standing there.

'What are yo..?' Bond began before Eve cut in

'She's in hospital'


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm sorry for the cliff-hanger, *Cough* Enjoy!**

* * *

He felt dizzy, like he'd hit his head and only just woken up. He couldn't quite comprehend what Eve meant.

He didn't turn back as she walked out the flat and down the corridor with Eve at his side.

'What do we know?' he asked her sharply

'Not much, she was brought in with a man, we got a call from headquarters as and headed to the hospital, but the doctor won't pass on any information about her condition. We need to get to the hospital incase' She swallowed hard and Bond turned a hugged her tightly, probably as much for himself as her.

She had a taxi waiting for them and it took them quickly over to St. Mary's where Moneypenny led him straight up to the private section. Tanner was standing midway down the corridor and they both practically ran to him.

'Where is she?'

'In the room at the end'

Looking down the corridor Bond could see the familiar face of a security guy Bond had seen regularly but couldn't remember the name of, standing guard on the door. He walked up but the guard acknowledged him with an apologetic smile.

'Don't ask mate. You want in, you need to speak to her'

Bond's vision followed the direction the man was pointing and fell on a tall, rather skinny doctor in their mid 40's glaring at him.

'You here to see Olivia?' she barked as she squared her shoulders and stormed straight up to Bond, without a fear in the world.

'Yes... Are you aware of who she is?' Bond asked, already pissed off he couldn't see her.

'It's why I'm here. Amanda Wearing' She introduced herself coldly

'Bond, James Bond' he shook her hand, Amanda trying to crush Bond's to assert the control

'You haven't told us anything, what's going on?' Bond asked, trying to stay calm but angry at being kept in the dark.

'My protocol is to only inform her next of kin, unluckily she has no contact for one, all we can go on is the information of the man found in the car with her' Bond moved so he could look through the open door the Doctor was pointing at, he felt a sense of satisfaction seeing Greg, unconscious and attached to several machines, looking so broken and weak. However seeing him in that condition made him dread what M's would be, whether she could pull herself through it.

'Excuse me?'

Dr. Wearing snapped him back to the conversation and Bond glanced at her before eyeing both Eve and Bill who were standing behind the doctor.

'Frankly, I have no clue who I inform on her condition and I am unsure exactly who to trust anyway regarding her wellbeing.'

Bond knew what the doctor was referring to and knew Eve and Tanner were listening intently.

'This man is her husband, Greg Mansfield, they have a daughter in Leeds called Lucy, you could call her, she is the closest living relative' He breathed in, calming himself 'Can we go somewhere private?'

'Your colleague already informed us you work together and have her interests at heart but from what I've seen, she was'

'I know' Bond said abruptly, refusing to let this idiot spill her personal life to the others, however close they may be. 'I know' he repeated softly 'We need to discuss this somewhere private?' His eyes flickered to the others before boring into the Doctors eyes.

Amanda stared hard at him for a minute, weighing her options, she turned and marched halfway down the corridor and opened her office. Turning, she inclined her head to him; once he was in the office she shut the door and circled the desk.

'Let's be frank, Olivia may die tonight'

Bond bit down hard and closed his eyes, feeling the pain of having the full brunt of all his fears now confirmed. He swallowed hard and looked back up,

'What happened?' he asked, trying to be calm and detached like he was on mission,

She stared at him again then ignored his question and asked her own,

'Who caused the bruises?' She asked calmly

'Greg' he spat his name out, anger bubbling close to explosion, Amanda only nodded.

'And you were aware of what she was going through?' Bond winced

'Yes'

'And you did nothing' the doctors anger was unsuppressed, a stark contrast that took him by surprise, triggering a flare of anger.

'I tried!' Bond nearly shouted, 'I gave her options out, I gave her a place to stay, I… I tried' he knew the doctor believed him, but the guilt had already set in.

'Are her...' his voice broke and he swallowed again, composing himself again

'Has he put her here?' He asked quietly

'Not intentionally. They were involved in a car crash, on the Harrow road bridge over the Paddington Branch Canal, the car ended up going through the barrier and fell into the river'

Bond's head snapped up

'The car was only partially submerged, due to works they are on the locks and there were a number of witnesses that called it in and assisted in getting them out, Greg was unconscious and Olivia while being stable at the scene fell into a coma while being brought here. The MRI scan revealed she hit her head and has mild conclusion. No real swelling of the brain or brain damage from what we can tell, she has cracked ribs and numerous superficial injuries but I cannot differentiate between those caused by the accident and those caused by… Our main concern is if she doesn't wake, until she does we have no understanding of her mental state. All I can tell you is her condition is serious but fairly stable; we won't know the full extent of damage until she wakes up… If she wakes up'

Bond rubbed his jaw hard

'What state is Greg in?'

'Worse than Olivia, the car was crushed on his side, he has a broken leg and internal bleeding; he underwent emergency surgery and is stable, for now. It is vital we call their daughter, I am unsure how much time they may have, they are fairly old, sometimes they might not have the fight they need to recover, I would recommend that the family come as soon as possible.'

'Was he drunk?'

'His blood work hasn't come in yet, so i cannot comment'

'Can we see her?' He pleaded as she moved back to the door,

'Let me call her daughter first' with that she disappeared down to the nurse station and began explaining the situation to the nurse.

Bond looked around and saw Tanner standing a doorway Bond assumed was the family waiting room. As Bond approached he stormed up to him and pushed Bond back against the wall, taking him completely by surprise.

'Bill' He pushed himself back up and towered over the other man, his anger near breaking point,

'What did you do?' Tanner demanded,

'Me! What… I didn't do anythi…'

'Something happened Friday. She refused to talk to anyone, even the PM. She cried in front of Eve. She was devastated the entire day' Bond jaw tightened, 'She told Roy she wouldn't be in Saturday, no one could contact her and then I get a call from MI6 saying she's been brought into hospital!'

'Her and Greg were in a car crash' He gritted out

'Greg? When did M have a husband? And what the hell happened Friday?'

'We argued, she was going back to him and I… I tried to convince her to stay' He said quietly,

'If you have an affair you have to be prepared for them to leave' Tanners righteous tone made Bond want to kill him,

'It was not like that!' He spat 'You told me you knew her life was difficult, that you could tell but you never asked. Well maybe if you would have you may have understood what he was putting her through, what she had to go home to each night. And then maybe you would have tried to stop her' Eve appeared at their side, looking weary.

'James, what's happened? Will she be okay?'

Bond and Tanner shot each other a look that clearly said this conversation wasn't over but they both moved to the waiting room and Bond explained what Dr. Wearing had told him.

'Why would they have been driving over there anyway? Why hadn't she called for the car like usual' Eve questioned tearfully,

'She left her phone at home.' Tanner mentioned, 'She never leaves without her phone, part of the M protocol'

They fell into a silence as they all pondered M's condition; the doctor entered and approached the three of them

'We've called Lucy, luckily her partner was still awake. They are on their way now although it will take them 3 hours at least to get here. I have considered your request James and we will allow you to see Olivia however when the family do arrive you will need to back off, this is not strictly conventional but… It may help her to hear voices she knows. I hope you are aware though' She addressed the other two aswell, 'She does not look well. Before I show you to her room however you will need to fill these out' She handed over forms to each of them which Bond huffed and turned to argue before Eve piped up,

'These are MI6 forms James so don't dispute it'

They filled the forms out quickly as Tanner and Eve both asked their own questions regarding the accident, Bond stayed quiet, mulling things over in his brain, as soon as the forms were completed they followed the doctor down the corridor, she nodded to the guard and he stood aside. They practically flew into the room, where the wall of shock hit them all, there she lay, their strong, determined boss, lying weak and small in a bed surrounded by machines. Her face was marred, there were several cuts which had required butterfly stitches and the colour was almost completely gone.

Bond approached shakely, collapsing into the chair beside her bed as he felt the tears in his eyes. He held her hand and kissed it, noticing the cuts across it and the knuckles which were bruised. Nobody said anything, Tanner stood in the corner with his arms wrapped around Eve, neither had dry eyes.

Bond swallowed hard, fighting to say what was needed, 'Grace' he choked out, struggling to maintain composure, he knew the others were looking on, but he didn't care 'Don't let this be goodbye, I need you… Please, Fight and come back to me, Darling…Please.' He stood from the seat to stroke her cheek, trying to avoid the sore cuts that peppered her skin. He whispered to her, his lips close to hers 'You're safe Gracie, just fight… I love you.' He kissed her softly and fell back into the chair, holding her hand tightly and rubbing the sore knuckles with his thumb.

They stayed like that for close to an hour, just watching and waiting. A nurse came in to take down her vitals but none of them seemed to notice very much. Tanner finally said he was going down to get some proper coffee and maybe some food, he asked Bond who only shook his head and Eve offered to accompany him. They left and Bond was left alone in the clinical, dark room.

He turned her hand, laying the palm flat while making sure not to disrupt the IV in the crook of her elbow; he kissed her wrist and began to draw shapes across her skin. He watched his hand skate across her skin, the tears returned to his eyes and he allowed them to fall.

'Ohh Gracie… I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. Don't leave me' He kissed her palm again,

'It shouldn't have been like this, I should have held you and wrapped you up so nothing could have hurt you, I should have protected you better. You don't deserve to be here, you don't deserve any of it.' He allowed the pain and fear and regret to release itself into the surroundings something he was sure only her being in that situation could bring out. When Eve and Tanner came back he stood and began to pace, he felt a fidgety energy at not being able to do anything or help, both tried to start conversation but he was that distracted that his answers didn't make sense. He felt Tanner's hand on his shoulder,

'Go get some coffee.' He said firmly,

'I'm not leaving her.' He argued

'The walk will do you good, just take 10 minutes. It will help.'

Bond thought about arguing but instead nodded and walked out of the room. He didn't go for coffee, he paced the corridor instead, breathing deeply and hardly focusing on those around him. He stopped by Greg's door, looking in that the elderly man lying there, how could someone so evil look so normal. Bond looked down the corridor, the doctor was somewhere else and M's guard was looking down at the floor, he made a flash decision and stepped into the room and shut the door. He approached the bed slowly, keeping the rage he felt under tap. He stood silently, hands gripping the bed post just to keep his hands from finding Greg's neck. He waited there a long time debating what to say.

'you are one malicious bastard for what you put her through'' he finally spoke, his voice dangerous but calm 'Do you have any idea the damage you've caused her, so you can have your sick fill? How can you enjoy it? You treat her like nothing and yet you demand so much! She deserves to be loved, to be treasured and treated like a god damn queen. I want to treat her like she deserves until I die. Whether that's this week, next month or in 30years I will show her everything you took away from her. She is still beautiful and desirable and you looked straight past that. You felt that you weren't enough, and instead of working to keep her you forced yourself onto her, countless times'

Bond huffed and twisted his hands around the metal pole he was clutching,

'If you survive this I will make you pay for everything you have done to hurt her. I will make you feel as much pain and humiliation as you made her feel and I will take as much pleasure as you indulged yourself. I will make your life Hell because that is what you did to her. And when I find out exactly what happened in the last 24hours I may kill you before you're even conscious but mark my words, you will Never, Ever lay another hand on her'

He turned his back and left the room, moving back to M's doorway. He moved back to his seat beside her and took her hand, he considered the others in the room, who had been quiet and supportive.

'We need to make arrangements with work, Bill get on the phone to the PM, we need a stand-in while she recovers. Eve, find the doctor; see if she has any more news on what happened.' His tone was businesslike and numb, and neither argued with him, they needed something to keep them distracted. As soon as they left Bond reached up to M's face and kissed her lips hard.

'Come on Grace. Remember. Remember how it feels when it's just , how you can feel when you know someone loves you because I love you so much… And if you go, I might just have to follow you. Please, please come back to me.'

The others entered and disappeared, relaying information and making sure he was okay. He sat with her in silence for almost another hour before he heard a voice he didn't recognize, but instantly identified in the corridor, they were arguing with the security guard on the other side.

'Please, she's my mother! If you'd done your job she wouldn't be here!' Came the tearful female plea, he heard the muffled argument of the guard and stood angrily, he rushed to the door, opening it and surprising both the guard and the couple Bond didn't know. Bond looked into the face of the younger women, she had so many of M's features but her eyes were the same as Greg's.

'Lucy?' She nodded

'Bond?' He pulled her into the room, with the other man close behind. Bond squared up to the guard as he attempted to argue.

'They don't have forms!'

'Then get them.' Bond snarled and shut the door

Lucy had already moved to M's side and was crying into the shoulder of the man Bond assumed was her boyfriend, even he looked stricken and worried. The doctor entered and gave Bond a glare before turning to Lucy and introducing herself,

'Before we move on, you need to fill these in.' she said apologetically, 'Part of your mothers protection'

'How are their conditions?' Lucy sniffled,

'The same as before, we're still waiting on blood reports, your fathers blood pressure keeps dropping but Olivia seems quite stable. As I explained on the phone until either wake up we will not know the full extent of damage.'

The doctor went on a little longer, explaining various outcomes and how they would treat them, Bond looked at Lucy, she had quite a bump on her and Bond assumed she must be about 5 months gone by the size of her. She rested the hand that wasn't holding M's on it almost by default. She looked tired and worried, but she carried herself well and stood strong, he saw how she had inherited her mother's spirit.

'Can we see my father?' She asked when the Doctor had explained all she could about M's situation

'Yes, of course. Follow me' they walked to the door before Lucy turned to Bond,

'You work with her don't you? I know what she does and what you do too. I know i shouldn't but, she's mentioned you a few times, I just wanted to say. Thanks for being here with her, I wouldn't have wanted her alone, if anything had happened.' She turned to follow the doctor and went to see Greg, Bond stayed put where he was looking at M lying there, swallowing hard.

'She's definitely your girl Grace, and she'd going to have a little one soon, you want to meet them don't you, you need to fight so you can see you first grandchild, because that baby will be so excited to meet you!' He kissed her hand again, nuzzling his face against her palm, her felt colder than before.

There was a knock on the door and Eve entered,

'The Doctor wants to speak to us all'

'I don't want to leave her' He said, his voice cracking as he squeezed her hand, 'Eve… If she dies… I, I won't…' She moved around to him and hugged him, pulling his head to her shoulder in an almost motherly gesture

'Shh, shh. She's not going anywhere, just give her time.' They sat like that for a minute until Bond regained his composure,

'I'm sorry' He began,

'Don't. I understand. Could you imagine if it was Bill there, I'd be inconsolable' She flicked a few tears away, 'And you'd be here, it's what we do.'

He nodded and turned back to M, squeezing her hand and offering a silent 'I'll be back'. Everyone was in the waiting room with the doctor, Bond stood leaning against the wall between the sofas. Eve and Tanner on one, and Lucy and her boyfriend, whose name he couldn't remember, sat on the other.

The doctor began to explain the treatment options for both and the ricks and factors to consider if a decision needed to be made quickly, halfway through M's a high pitched prolonged beeping began to fill the room, Amanda looked down to her pager,

'Shit' she murmured and took off out of the room and down the corridor, the others in hot pursuit, with Bond and Lucy in the lead. There was more noise in the corridor, a collection of running feet, whirling machines and shouts between the nurses, fear filled him as they moved further and further down the corridor, Amanda turned into Greg's room, Bond caught Lucy as she tried to get in the room and nurses bustled around them, yelling instructions and demands in some organised chaos. He held her up and tried to calm her as her boyfriend caught her around the waist and pulled her back against him, she turned in her arms and buried her face in his neck, still holding Bond's top as he stood in front of her, blocking her view into her father's room. They ushered Lucy over to the side of the corridor where she sobbed into his neck, Bond pulled away and stood in the hallway, watching with cold resolve as they tried, and failed, to save Greg Mansfield: He was pronounced dead at 2348 due to a stroke brought on by trauma to the brain.

He stood against the wall staring at the ground, the doctor and nurses were working quickly and efficiently around they, explaining what had happened and offering their condolences, most of them moved back into the family room but he didn't notice, just stood thinking. Greg was dead, but M still wasn't safe. Bond felt a hand on his shoulder, it was Eve with a coffee for him, he took it gratefully and moved back towards the seating area. Tanner stood by the window, looking deep in thought. As Bond sat on the sofa, that was unoccupied, he watched as Eve approached Bill and touched his elbow, the touch was so different to the one she had given him in the hall, and the touch lingered there as Tanner turned his head to face her, he watched as words he couldn't make out were exchanged and felt a stab of misery as Tanner wrapped his arm around Eve's waist and they held each other tightly. This was then amplified when he looked over to Lucy who was still crying into her boyfriend's shirt as he rubbed his hand across her stomach, tears in his own eyes at the pain the woman he loved was feeling. They all had each other to hold them and keep them strong, he had no one, and the only someone he would want was the one whose life was balanced on a knife blade.

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**Review please!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I forgot to mention .Dora for her influence on this chapter and the last, just for getting me over the wall, so to speak! Anyway, not much to say so i'll leave it short and sweet, enjoy!**

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'I…' Bond spoke after several moments of complete silence 'I'm going back to her room' If Greg had died, then M's chances were suddenly less positive, he wasn't ready to say goodbye, they hadn't even gotten started. He stood again and all four sets off eyes felt on him.

'Wait!' Lucy stood gingerly from the low sofa, 'I want to come' she turned to her boyfriend, who had already stood beside her, she then looked towards Eve and Tanner by the window, 'I'm sorry I didn't introduce us, I'm Lucy and this is Harry, I assume you work with my Mom and Bond' Tanner nodded,

'Yes, I'm Bill Tanner and this is Eve Moneypenny, we know your mother very well. She is a… great friend to us' He hugged Eve a little closer and swallowed,

'She's mentioned you before' she laughed a little 'She said you were very bright and pretty Eve, she never mentioned you were a couple'

'Ohh well, it's quite a new thing we…' Eve stammered,

'Will you come back to the room; she needs people who care around her now Father's gone'

Bond stood back and let Lucy lead them out of the room, once Eve had passed Tanner grabbed Bonds arm and he turned back to face him.

'What did he do to her?' He asked looking sick and concerned, his mind obviously on the correct track

'I can't explain… Not without her permission. I'm sorry.' He left, leaving Tanner standing there.

M's room was quiet, they had gathered more chairs and both Harry and Lucy were to her left, Lucy was holding M's hands and had it pressed against her stomach so M could feel the baby kicking, she was talking quietly about her craving's and how she suddenly hated raisins. The normal conversation eased the tension in the room, and Bond found a seat by her right side and sat there, leaning forward but resting his chin on his hands rather than holding her hand.

Tanner followed in a little after Bond, he sat in the chair beside Eve, gripping her hand tightly he hunched forward and hid his face in his hand. After about ten minutes Lucy's chatter was bubbling out and she fell into silence. The room felt deafening. No one said anything until Bond had an idea,

'Tanner, do you have internet on your phone?' He pulled it out and nodded, throwing it to Bond, who caught it effortlessly, he found what he wanted and resting the phone on her chest was she would feel the vibrations from the 'As Time Goes By' began to filter into the room. Three sets of eyes looked at him quizzically, all apart from Lucy, her eyes met his but were bright and tearful.

'You know her favourite song?' she asked, removing M's hand from her stomach so she could sit, Bond shrugged, playing it off.

'It played at a function we both attended' he lied with ease

They listened to the music which again dispersed the tension, only, for Bond, it brought memories of how he had held her the night they had danced, he stared at the floor and clasped his hands in front of him, trying to quell the tears that were stinging his eyes, he heard what he assumed was Eve shift in her chair, probably wanting to comfort him but he gave the minute hand gesture to inform them he was fine. The had schooled himself by the end of the song and looked up to see Lucy's face almost level with his across the bed. Her face changed from awed fascination to mild concern tinged with confusion. She looked as if she wanted to speak but the song was ending and instead she picked up the phone and looked to both Harry and Bond before looking up at M, her hands trembling slightly as stared at the scene.

'I don't know what to play, that song would have been my choice, she likes music but she likes all types, I can't think' She sounded frustrated with herself, and they all tried to think of song's that meant something to M.

'She mentioned Lady in Red by Chris De Burgh' Eve piped up, with all of them staring at her she went a little pink in the cheeks, 'It was a while ago but I think she likes it'

They played a few more, talking about how they came to learn she liked them and relaxing slightly after the stress of it all, Eve dozed off on Tanners shoulder and Bond watched how careful he was not to move or wake her as he held her hand in his lap.

Bond stared at M's hand, trying to will it to move, so when her finger switched he almost believed he'd imagined it, but a few minutes later it did it again.

'She's Moving' He said, standing and gripping her hand, leaning on the bed to look at her face.

'Mom!' Lucy called and did the same on the other side, 'Mom can you hear me, open your eyes?'

They all crowded around the bed,

'Play another song?' Harry suggested and Bond snatched up the phone and typed in one of the few songs he'd ever heard her sing, in his mind's eye he relived the scene.

6th July 2011

He'd gone to the bar, he'd need a drink now the dancing was starting, he'd got himself a shot of bourbon when he saw M standing alone by one of the pillars. He ordered a second shot with ice and carried them over to M as he approached from behind, he assumed she must be talking to someone, his stealth came in useful and as he stood almost behind her he heard her low, husky voice singing along to the quartet playing the other side of the dance floor.

'_Some say love, it is a hunger,_

_An endless aching need._

_I say love, it is a flower,_

_And you it's only seed._'

'Ma'am' She jumped and turned sharply, leaning back against the pillar with her hand on her chest, drawing even more attention to the silvery grey dress she was wearing, because he hadn't already noticed how the floor length, mermaid design accentuated her figure and the modest but still stylish neckline with cap sleeves drew attention to her collar bones and the beautiful Emerald pendant she wore.

'Here' Bond said, more gruffly than he expected, 'I didn't mean to startle you' Why was he always nervous talking to her that these things.

'You have a good voice' He blurted out, meeting her eyes and seeing the incredulous look on her face,

'I like this one, by Bette Midler you know' She sounded detached and wistful, still resting her hand over her chest as she looks at the large clock above the dance floor

_And you think that love is only_

_For the lucky and the strong,_

'Would like to dance?' Bond heard himself ask, expecting the look of surprise again but instead finding an almost sad, little smile

'I can't, I will be leaving shortly, But there are many here I'm sure are better partner's than me'

He tried to argue but the song was wrapping up and M's attention was on the singer standing on a small podium above the band. Instead he leaned into her lightly, her head moved towards him slightly and he was so tempted to kiss the pale skin on her neck. Instead he moved his lips to her ear and whispered

'You look very pretty tonight' He pulled away and walked back to their table, downing his drink he collared a waitress and ordered another, before delving into a conversation with Q to ignore the embarrassed tightness in his stomach.

Present moment

The music filled the room and M's head rolled to one side, her face contorting slightly before rolling over to the other, everyone was now huddled around the bed.

'Come on Mom, open your eyes'

'Olivia'

'M, M, can you here us'

'Open your eyes Ma'am'

Bond squeezed M's hand in a pincer like grasp 'Come on Gracie' he whispered into the fray

Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped for air, staring blurrily around the room and cowering from them all, getting her bearings she began to shake,

She moved her hand to Lucy's face

'Ohh my baby!' Her voice was dry and cracking,

She looked around fearfully before her eyes found Bond's

'Greg?' she whimpered

'Ohh Mom. Dad's… Dad died.' Lucy answered, fresh tears were in her eyes and she buried her face in M's shoulder, crying out her pain and exhaustion.

'I'll go for the doctor' Harry said quietly

M's free hand found Bond's and she squeezed hard, returning his gesture, she then nodding affectionately to both Eve and Bill who were standing by the bottom of the bed, as she couldn't seem to form the words

'Ma'am' Tanner started, but the words got stuck in his throat and instead he looked down and shook his head slightly, Lucy pulled away from her mother and wiped her face again

'How long have I been out?' M croaked,

'You were brought in about 5 hours ago Ma'am' Eve said tearfully

'Ohh, come here' M said, releasing Bond's hand and beckoning her adopted daughter into a hug, wincing slightly at the discomfort her ribs were in.

The doctor entered and looked about the room,

'I will have to ask you to leave while I talk to Olivia' She looked apologetic but firm and she stood holding the door.

Bond turned to M to see the fear in her eyes,

'We'll be just outside the door' He squeezed her shoulder and gave her a wink as he couldn't kiss her, which is what he'd wanted to do since she'd woken up.

'Why do we have to leave?' Lucy asked indignity 'We're family'

'Its policy, I'm sorry. Due to her high position, I will let you back in as soon as I can but firstly I must speak to your mother alone'

She turned to M

'Will you be okay?'

M nodded and smiled weakly, Lucy leant down and kissed her,

'I'm going to call Martin again, explain what's happened'

With that they began to file out.

'Do you want some ice chips for your throat?' Eve offered and she nodded again.

Harry and Lucy disappeared up to the family room to make the call as the others stayed by the door, pacing the corridor. Eve had collected a bowl of ice from somewhere and was holding it tightly to her as if it was giving her comfort and Tanner kept tapping his foot, clearly thinking something over. Bond couldn't think, all he wanted was to be on the other side of the door and holding M.

After around 5 minutes the doctor opened the door,

'If you need anything ring the bell Olivia, and get some rest' she almost smiled as she walked up the corridor, Bond moved straight to the door followed by Tanner

'Bill' Eve said softly, 'let's give James a minute with her, we'll go back in when her daughter comes back'

Tanner nodded and Eve handed over the ice,

As soon as he pushed the door shut he ran to her side and buried his face in her neck.

'Jesus, ohh Grace!' he choked before pressing his lips to hers eagerly, 'Thank god! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!'

'Why would you be sorry?' She croaked again, before lifting a hand to her ribs and wincing as she shifted in the bed,

'For the argument, for letting you go back, for not finding you 'James I…' She winced again and touched his cheek, conveying she felt no ill will towards him, her eyes were also pleading forgiveness and he bent to kiss her again.

'What happened?' he asked and she shook her head, looking towards the door as if Greg would enter.

'He's dead' Bond said quietly, about two inches from her face.

She closed her eyes and swallowed, pulling his face so their foreheads touched, and nodded at his words, relief flooding the room.

'We need to get you well Gracie, so you can come home and be safe and happy.' M nodded and smiled gently before wincing as she tried to sit up more,

'Here' taking her hand and he moved her so she was more upright in the bed, 'have they given you pain relief?'

She shook her head

'why?!'

'I wanted to be lucid for when you are all here, I can rest later'

'Do you know how scared I was that I could lose you' He asked as he gently ran his fingers through the hair at the front of her face. She gave him a look of pure love and swallowed harshly,

'I love you' she said and pressed her hand to his chest, wondering if he'd deny to believe it like last time

'I love you too, I'm so glad you came back' they stayed like that for a minute

'Do you want me to do anything?' He asked tracing his fingers along her arm

'I need you to...' she stopped and looked down

'Gracie, what is it, tell me' he moved his face in and nudged her with his nose softly, meeting her eyes

'Make sure Lucy doesn't find out, I can't have her knowing, she loved her father'

She coughed hoarsely, tensing in pain and pressing her free hand to her ribs. He lifted a piece of ice and ran it over her dry lips before she opened them and allowed it to slide in, he nodded his understanding taking a larger piece and running it over her knuckles.

'Where hurts?' he asked calmly

'My head, and my ribs are sore, and my...' She silenced herself, her eyes flitting to the door before glancing at him to read his reaction she shifted, clearly embarrassed and reached for the ice, Bond instinctively lifted another piece to M's lips to save her the effort.

'You don't need to worry anymore' he said, kissing her forehead softly, 'I think we should tell Tanner' Bond felt her stiffen 'He's gonna ask questions anyway, he's worried for you and he's killing himself out there trying to figure it out'

'Do you think he'd tell Eve?'

'Only if you said he could, otherwise not a chance!'

She paused and looked at him wide-eyed,

'What will they think of me?' she whispered,

'Nothing! He will be Horrified, remorseful, probably have some pity. But that is not bad, they love you and they are worried and I think they deserve to know. They will not think any less of you, that I am sure of!'

'I just...' she swallowed and took his hand, 'I was always scared he would find out i told people and... He said if I did, he'd kill me. I knew he could, and for some reason I just couldn't fight him. I wanted to James, I thought about it so many times, I hated him' tears began to spill from her eyes.

He reacted immediately, sitting on the side of her bed and gently bringing her forward so she was leaning against his chest, her fist curled into his fabric and she sobbed. He whispered to her how she was safe and free, about how much he loved her and about how awful he'd felt after the row. The others re-entered, but Bond didn't care. He stayed with his arms holding her tightly, being careful to avoid her ribs or the back of her neck and shoulders.

'Mom' Lucy called softly, approaching the bedside and holding her free hand. She moved away from Bond a little to quickly and she winced and gasped at the searing pain. As they helped her to lie back down, Bond slipped off the bed and other by Eve.

'Is it about Father?' Lucy asked, M only nodded

'Martin sends his love and is booking the next flight home' Lucy tried to hide her yawn.

'You all need some rest!' M called, sounding more like herself every minute, although she kept sucking the ice to sooth it her throat.

'We're not leaving' they all chorused in almost the same tone, it made them laugh, and that suddenly lifted the entire atmosphere.

'You need you're sleep darling' M gently chastised her daughter, cupping her cheek.

'The doctor said the results your other tests will be back soon so I'll stay to here until then i'll get some rest'

'Where will you stay?'

'I thought we'd go home, well, back to yours, it's barely a mile from here' Lucy answered, sitting down and taking her M's hand.

'Had father been drinking?' She asked and M shot her a look,

'Yes' she said after a minute and Lucy held her head in her hands, and gave way to the fresh tears

Bond looked at M with a look of remorse and apology, he turned and moved towards the door, he found M's eyes and she quickly looked to Tanner before back to him and nodded minutely, he mumbled something about a phone call and left the room.

When Tanner left 5 minutes later, he found Bond slumped against the wall down the corridor with his head in his hands.

'This isn't your fault' Tanner said gently,

'I could have stopped her on Friday, I could have stopped this two months ago.'

'You did not put her in hospital'

'But I could have stopped her from ending up here!'

'You couldn't have stopped him from drinking' Bond looked up to argue by then stopped,

'Are you going to explain all this shit with her husband or are you going to leave me to go mad? Because I feel like this is all bigger than it seems' Tanner asked bluntly, Bond stood and moved to the room that had been Greg's, it was still empty. He stood inside the room and beckoned Tanner in before shutting the door and turning the lock,

Bond slumped into one of the seat, gripping the armrest in order to say calm.

'He raped her.' Bond breathed harshly, it was the first time he had ever said it out loud and the word just made it all feel worse, if that was possible. Tanner's face turned pale and stony, but Bond continued,

'Repeatedly.' Tanner, fell into a seat opposite him,

'He would force her, strangle her, sometime until she'd pass out. God knows what else.' He ran his hands through his hair forcefully, 'This has been happening for 6 years. 6 fucking years. Last week…' A wave of nausea hit him 'She showed me her back… She's covered in bruises from where he'd slammed her against a door frame and… I must have pulled around 15 splinters from her. She is bruised… Everywhere.' He took deep gulps of air to stop from being sick.

'Why would she stand for that? For six years!' Tanner looked like he was going to be sick aswell, 'Why didn't she tell us?' He curled his hand into a fist and hit the armrest, 'Jesus, we're MI6. We could have fixed this, he could have been dead and gone years ago… Why didn't she tell us?'

'She believed it was her duty'

'Her duty! Her... Jesus Bond she sounds like she's going to war! She didn't fucking deserve that.' He was ranting so much he'd turned red

'I know!' Bond snapped, they sat in silence for a few minutes

'Did she tell you?'

'No. I caught him… He was… in her hotel room at the Heritage Dinner' He explained the situation from then to now, missing out the finer details, once he had finished there was another tense pause.

'Why didn't you just kill him?' it was a simple question, no false kindness but no accusation either.

'She asked me not to, made me promise actually'

'Why?'

'She… Believed that she owed her husband the rights they promised eachother…' He said, feeling traitorous and dirty for defending it.

'I should have fucking asked' Tanner said to himself,

'I don't think she would have told you even if you had asked, she didn't want me involved at all, I… Just couldn't leave it be' He trailed off and after a few more moments of silence they stood and returned to M's room however everyone was in the corridor.

'The Doctor's in' Harry commented, as Lucy paced very much like Bond had been earlier

When the doctor exited Lucy caught her arm and demanded information about her father, while Eve, Tanner and Bond burst back into the room.

'I'm fine,' she said, as soon as they entered, but as tanner ran to her side she felt tears in her eyes. 'I'm sorry Ma'am, I should have…'

'No.' she said, shaking her head at him, and patting his arm. Eve looked on confused and M opened her arms to them both, Bond watched as she hugged them both.

She released them and held her hand out to Bond, who took it and kissed it. Moving to her side,

'How long do you need to stay in?' He asked, as Eve perched on the edge of her bed and Tanner sat in the seat Harry had sat in before

'I can leave Monday morning and then bed rest for a week' He stroked her hair softly, 'She also put me on the pain killers but I asked for Tramadol instead of morphine. At least then I may be more awake'

'I'll arrange work Ma'am. I called the MP's office earlier, they have someone in the lineup who will be able to stand in until you are well again' Tanner offered, still looking contrite and preoccupied.

'You are very good to me Bill' M said softly and reached for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly and turning to Eve.

'Why don't you take him home and get some rest? I'll ask Lucy to bring my mobile to me tomorrow'

'I'll bring you one, with a different number so you aren't bombarded by calls from Six' Eve offered, moving forward and kissing her cheek, 'I'll take care of it all so when you come back it's like usual' she hugged her tenderly and moved back so Tanner could say goodbye, 'You are a very strong woman M' he said in a restricted voice as he kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand. 'We'll be back sometime tomorrow'

'Not for at least 12 hours, you must rest.' She said, almost sternly

Tanner hugged Bond briskly and Eve kissed his cheek,

'Get some rest' Tanner said to Bond, reaching for Eve's hand as they walked to the door

'I am not leaving' He said frankly,

She opened her mouth to argue but the door opened,

Lucy smiled from the doorway, the fatigue and stress beginning to take its toll.

'Now go home and sleep!' M said to her, smiling sweetly and reaching for her stomach, 'This little one will not be happy if you don't take care of yourself'

'I love you Mom' Lucy cuddled her mother closer; balancing on the side of the bed, with her head on M's other shoulder.

'I love you too' She kissed her head

'Now go my sweet, get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow' they kissed goodbye and Harry leant down and pecked her cheek gently, before helping Lucy off the bed, she circled it and pulled Bond into a hug.

'Thank you' She said thickly, 'you really helped… being here'

'If you need anything let me know' he offered

She turned to the door, finally ready to sleep and rest now everything was settled again. Harry and Bond shook hands and left with their arms around each other.

'Bond you need to sleep' M said softly, feeling the tiredness grab at her.

'You sleep, Darling, I want to stay a little longer' He leaned over and kissed her softly, helping her recline the bed again and he pulled the blanket up for her, he moved the chair so he could rest his elbow on the bed and look at her. She stroked his cheek and he clutched to her hand kissing her palm, he kept her hand beside his cheek and traced his fingers in patterns up and down her arm, from elbow to wrist and back again. He hummed along with his movement and she picked up the tune around halfway through, speaking the lyrics as she began to relent to the exhaustion in her.

'_Just remember in the winter,_

_Far beneath the bitter snows,_

_Lies the seed that with the sun's love,_

_In the spring…'_

Her eyes drifted closed, her voice faded and moments later her breathing evened out, Bond continued his administrations to her arm, laying his head on the side of her bed as his eyes grew heavy, he kissed the hand again.

'Becomes the rose... I love you Grace'

* * *

Well? Let me know!


End file.
